Career Archives - Sensitive Refuge

What the Cutthroat Business World Taught Me About Being a Highly Sensitive Person

Javier Ortega-Araiza — Wed, 15 Oct 2025 06:01:00 +0000

For highly sensitive people, working in a cutthroat business world can be a challenge. But that changed once I learned to embrace my HSP superpowers — not just at work, but at home.

For those of us that identify as highly sensitive people (HSP), navigating the competitiveness of certain environments can feel, at times, like a tremendous challenge.

Since we tend to be more collaborative, caring, and in tune with natural cycles — as opposed to artificial deadlines — the prospect of absorbing the cutthroat energy that some people emanate can deter or paralyze us. (Generally, time anxiety is tough for HSPs.) I’ve felt this way both in the business world and as a competitive youth tennis player.

As an entrepreneur, I have started numerous businesses, and I have had both successes and failures. My first “official” business, which I started at 23, grew to $1.5 million in less than 18 months.

And not understanding that my sensitivity was a superpower — at that time, I thought of it as a hindrance — caused me to lose that $1.5 million… and more.

I don’t complain. Those were the lessons I needed to learn, and I learned them the way I needed to learn them.

But now, eight years later, as I look back, and after a lot of work on my personal development and spiritual healing journey, I’d like to share those lessons, hoping they can speed up the learning process for others, and perhaps, make it less painful. Even if you’re not an entrepreneur, you’ll be able to relate, as the business world taught me a lot about myself as an HSP. Here are three key things I learned.

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3 Key Things the Business World Taught Me About Being an HSP

1. Remember to include yourself in the equation.

Three years ago, at a film festival, a title called my attention. The movie was called Everybody’s Everything, and it was a portrait of musician Lil Peep, who died tragically of an overdose at age 21.

“The title of this movie could very well be about me,” I thought to myself. Since I grew up with zero knowledge about what boundaries were — common among HSPs — and with the need for external validation, I thrived on being “everybody’s everything.”

The problem was that I did it at the expense of my well-being.

Instead of clearly determining my priorities, I dedicated considerable parts of my day to solving everyone’s problems. This felt good because they had me on a pedestal, and it led me to think that I was doing a great job as a CEO.

Underneath that, however, it was all fake, because I was not owning up to my position. As a leader, it can be easy to default to people-pleasing, and wrongfully believe that a good leader is the one that keeps everyone happy.

Yet keeping everyone happy is fruitless if we fail to include ourselves in the equation. What do we need? How do we feel about the situation?

I remember sharing a difficult dilemma with my therapist. I needed to let go of some people, and I was afraid I would hurt them and our friendship. My therapist responded: “If you keep them, only to avoid hurting them, who are you hurting instead?”

The answer was obvious: I would be hurting myself.

I know that, especially for sensitive people who, like me, are afraid of hurting others, it is really hard to say “no” or to communicate bad news. But it is also true that we cannot give anything or anybody our full, wholehearted presence if we said “yes” to something that we should have said no to in the first place.

Once we include ourselves in the equation, everything changes. Standing up for ourselves — and setting boundaries — is like everything else: It needs practice. The more we do it, the better it feels. And once we see the benefits, our confidence is bolstered. Plus, we don’t want to burn out, which is more common among sensitive people, too.

Similarly, the people that thrived by sucking our energy will leave our surroundings, because we are no longer easy prey. Our self-worth is no longer in somebody else’s hands, and this is significantly empowering.

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2. Prepare difficult conversations in advance.

When we are highly sensitive, we can tend to avoid conflict, since it can trigger an unmanageable flurry of emotions.

At least, that’s how it would be for me.

And something that helped me make this fear more manageable is to prepare for difficult conversations beforehand. To do this, Marshall Rosenberg’s book, Nonviolent Communication, is very useful. Rosenberg says that “at the core of all anger is a need not being fulfilled.”

Hence, if we are to communicate nonviolently, four words can help our thoughts and feelings come across the right way. These four words are “I feel, I need”.

Here’s an example that happened to me in real life, when I felt some colleagues were edging me out of an upcoming business trip. In response, I said: “When planning for the trip, I felt excluded. I was not given some of the benefits some of you had, and I felt as if you didn’t want me to come. I need to understand what’s going on, or if there is an underlying problem, so we can clear this out.”

Speaking up from that perspective opened up the space for discussion. If I had resorted to blaming (You excluded me!), then, very likely, their defenses would be triggered, and a vulnerable conversation would not be possible.

Also, if I went on the trip, and left these feelings unexpressed, my resentment would have come out during the trip, and it would have harmed both the business and myself.

Another tip for whenever we need to have a difficult conversation is remembering the second of The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz, from the book of the same name, which is “Don’t take anything personally.”

When we don’t take anything personally, we can give feedback without being afraid that we will hurt others. At the same time, we can listen to what others have to say — and how they feel — without automatically believing it is our fault.

Then, we can make the best decision, which should be in accordance with the next lesson.

3. Always trust your intuition, which is an HSP superpower.

When one of my first businesses succeeded, I became an angel investor.

It wasn’t long before several people were lining up at my door, asking me to invest in their business. For many of those projects, I knew that the answer should be no. There was no viable business model or value proposition, and the founding teams did not align with my values.

However, I said yes to many projects out of the fear of missing out (something prevalent in the investing world), and out of the need to preserve my public image. Since many of the people that pitched me were part of my social circle, investing in their businesses gave me status.

Of course, all those businesses that I knew I should have said “no” to failed.

As HSPs, we are blessed with the ability to sense things that other people can’t. We can feel the energy of a person, and of whatever they create. Our intuition is our best guide, our best counselor, and our best friend. Therefore, if our intuition says no, it should be no, and vice-versa.

The business world — and the world, in general — is currently going through a revolution that will need the skills that we sensitive folks can bring, including empathy, compassion, and the human touch. These can help ensure that technological advances are really serving the greater good.

Once we fully connect with these gifts, and with our intuition, we can learn that sensitivity is a superpower, and that it can point us toward those things that enhance our life’s calling, so that we can feel fulfilled and happy. It is from this space that we can become who we really are, and genuinely serve others, no matter what kind of business or career we’re in.

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5 Reminders for Any HSP Navigating a Layoff

Emily Battmer — Wed, 08 Oct 2025 06:01:00 +0000

Highly sensitive people tend to take things personally, especially being laid off. Here’s how to turn it around – and avoid crashing out.

I was laid off during a two-minute Zoom call.

As any highly sensitive person (HSP) knows, two minutes is barely enough time to rehearse your coffee order — much less to process such life-altering news. It took me the entirety of those two minutes, and then some, to even make sense of the words coming out of the COO’s mouth: We’re sorry, but we’ve had to do some restructuring, and your position is among those being affected.

Navigating a sudden job loss is tough for anyone, but as an HSP, I was especially rattled. With a brain wired to process information deeply and respond strongly to the world around me, I was immediately overstimulated — flustered, frozen, and unable to muster anything more than an absurd “thank you” and a ridiculous smile before the call abruptly ended.

It’s a simple fact: As HSPs, everything just affects us more. And there’s nothing like learning you’ve just lost your income, healthcare coverage, and other benefits — not to mention, in some cases, your very sense of self — to overstimulate an HSP.

Fortunately, I got through it — and you can, too. Here’s what I learned in the aftermath of my layoff, and five tips for other highly sensitive employees who find themselves in the same boat.

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5 Reminders for Any HSP Navigating a Layoff

1. It’s not personal (even though it seems like it).

This may have been the hardest thing for me to wrap my head around in the days immediately following my termination: It’s not personal. Even though the COO explained I was being laid off due to a “workforce reduction,” it was hard not to feel some personal sense of rejection.

As an HSP, I’ve always struggled with insecurity. In fact, many HSPs struggle with self-confidence issues, thanks to factors like higher rates of social anxiety and perfectionism, past rejections, and general feelings of “otherness” — a sense that we are different from our peers who don’t share our sensitivity. Feeling like I was somehow responsible for my layoff initially felt like another personal failing.

Of course, this wasn’t true. After the fact, I received kind messages from former coworkers, assuring me that I was talented, had done great work, and that they were sorry to see me go. My LinkedIn feed was flooded with posts from others at the company — many of whom had been there longer than I had and whose work I admired — who had also lost their jobs and were now looking for work. Clearly, I was not alone, and a workforce reduction was not a reflection of me or my work ethic.

The same is true for you. As an HSP, you are likely a creative, detail-oriented, careful thinker who values quality and takes pride in your work. In fact, your sensitivity gives you many advantages in the workplace that make you a stellar employee. Try to remind yourself of that, and don’t be afraid to reach out to trusted friends and people in your network if you need additional encouragement.

2. It’s okay to grieve your job loss — like anything else, it’s still a loss.

Losing a job is a real loss in so many ways. Not only are you losing your livelihood, which can create financial stress, but you may be losing your daily routine (which is important for us HSPs!), relationships with coworkers you’re used to seeing every day, and possibly the future you saw for yourself at your company. Because work can be so intertwined with our sense of identity, you may even feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself.

If you’re an introspective HSP who spends a lot of time reflecting on big, existential questions, like who you are as a person, these kinds of losses can hit especially hard. And if you’re anything like me, you may have a tendency toward stronger emotional reactions, like crying — something I found myself doing on and off in the days after I was laid off.

Personally, what hit me hardest about losing my job was the feeling that I was somehow being knocked back to “square one.” While I didn’t feel my identity was tied too closely with this particular job (I hadn’t been there that long, after all), I had never not had a job before, and I hadn’t realized how much I associated myself with being the “star employee.”

As HSPs, we tend to be wildly creative, deeply empathetic, thoughtful, and attuned to small details — all beautiful strengths possessed by many “high achievers.” But when you’re used to being successful in the workplace, the pain of a sudden job loss can feel that much sharper. And when you’re an HSP, your emotional response to that pain may be that much stronger.

The good news is that HSPs have an advantage when it comes to resilience; we are used to constantly adapting and regulating “big emotions.” We also tend to think and process stimuli deeply — which may be uncomfortable in the moment, but could also help us move forward with a stronger sense of closure in the end.

Research shows that job loss is often cited as one of the most stressful life events. As an HSP, you may feel that stress intensely… and that’s okay. Remember that it’s okay to grieve. It isn’t “weak” or silly to take some time to catch your breath after a sudden layoff. Be kind to yourself, and give yourself the time you need to make sense of this big life change.

3. Find your own way of moving forward.

Conventional wisdom suggests that when you lose a job, your first step should be to make it known and “put yourself out there” — post about it on social media, sharing the news and letting anyone (and everyone) in your network know that you’re #readytowork.

But for me, this wasn’t the best path forward. I needed time to work through everything I was feeling and make sense of what I really wanted to do next. I was very fortunate to have a safety net of savings built up (thanks to my careful planning and drive for safety/stability as an HSP!). This gave me some wiggle room to take a step back, breathe, and think about what I wanted to do next before I jumped straight into networking.

In fact, I found myself feeling deeply unhappy scrolling through LinkedIn, seeing post after post from old classmates and coworkers boasting about their latest career achievements. I found the forced, unnatural interactions on the platform exhausting and eyeroll-inducing. As an introverted HSP, I craved true connection and authenticity, and this style of networking didn’t feel like that for me. So I did the unthinkable as a job searcher: I set my account to hibernate.

I accepted that that might mean it would take me longer to find a new job, and that not everyone would get it… But I was so much happier when I stopped scrolling and turned my attention inward, toward my own goals and what I really wanted out of life and my career.

Then, I found my own quiet way of networking and getting back out there, bit by bit. I reached out to old coworkers and asked them if they’d provide a reference for me. I connected with old friends over coffee and exchanged resume tips and job ideas. I considered a few out-of-the-box opportunities offered up by real-life connections. And I felt the world open up to me in a way that social media wouldn’t have allowed.

There is no rulebook for how to move forward after a job loss. Don’t be afraid to think outside-the-box and find what works for you.

4. Take this opportunity to find work that truly fits you.

Once I got past the initial shock of being laid off, made a budget, and started thinking about my transition plan, I actually felt relieved… and even a little excited for the opportunity to start fresh. As an HSP, I had always found my previous work to be incredibly draining. This was my chance to redefine myself and change direction, to rethink my career and do something completely different, if I wanted to.

I thought about the things I liked — and disliked — about my previous work. I thought about the work environment and schedule that would work best for my sensitivity. I thought about my long-term goals and dreams. By this, I don’t mean just the kind you devise for an employer interview when they ask you “where you see yourself in five years,” but the deep-in-my-soul, life’s-purpose kind of dreams. (After all, we HSPs thrive on finding our purpose!)

If you find yourself unemployed as an HSP, you actually have an incredible opportunity in front of you. This is your chance to seek out the type of work that truly aligns with your values, moves you toward your goals, and allows you to be yourself.

So take some time to think about what you truly want out of your work, and then use this as your opportunity to start building the type of career where you can thrive as an HSP. Your dream job is waiting!

5. Don’t worry — you’ve got this!

HSPs navigate the world with care and sensitivity, and while this may be a tough time, these qualities will help you get through it — and come out stronger than you thought you could be. While a job loss may be extra tough to navigate as a highly sensitive person, we also have some unique advantages when it comes to moving forward.

Take a deep breath and trust that you’re going to make smart, thoughtful decisions about where you go from here. Chances are, you are already in tune with your emotions and intuition. Listen to what they say, and let them guide you. They won’t steer you wrong. And, the more you focus on what brings you joy, the easier it will be to find a new job or career you love!

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‘Single-Tasking’ Is the Most Important Change an HSP Can Make at Work

Clara Shearer — Mon, 29 Sep 2025 11:00:00 +0000

Giving yourself an environment where you can focus is an absolute game changer.

As a freelancer, I have a line on my resume that’s designed to scare away clients I have no interest in working with: “Dedicated single-tasker.” You see, my resume is not a job catcher. It’s an honest representation of who I am and what I can provide for clients who have a valuable work experience to offer me.

But isn’t multitasking where it’s at nowadays? It seems like every job description asks for that skill. We’re advised that, in order to get ahead in our careers, we need to be quick to interrupt tasks to reply to emails, monitor social media, or switch gears in other ways. This means interrupting your creative juices several times throughout the day, which for highly sensitive people can feel especially draining. And while there may be something to gain in terms of followers, teamwork, or communication, it comes at a great cost to our ability to focus deeply and produce meaningful work — the kind of work that leads to long-term success and happiness.

Expectations around multitasking have only grown with the COVID-19 crisis, with many people working from home — often without a sense of structure and stability about their days. Perhaps your now-homeschooled children threaten to pop into important video conferences, or you lack the space and equipment to do your work effectively at home. Then there are the urgent and constantly changing deadlines, pressuring you to remain informed at all times. For many of us, these work-related distractions are only the start — often, we’re dealing with them on top of the more personal effects of the pandemic.

Now more than ever, it is crucial to learn how to focus and do deep work — which will create the space you need in your life to breathe. And, more than that, it will help you use your strengths as a highly sensitive person to be the effective, capable person the world needs right now.

Why ‘Single-Tasking’ Is so Good for HSPs

HSPs have an immense potential for creative excellence, but one of the biggest hurdles to producing that level of work is our sensitivity to stimulation and the frustration that comes with distraction and interruption. This can disrupt the very delicate processes of deep thinking and creative expression.

Sophie Leroy, an associate professor at the University of Washington, writes about this in her research on what she calls attention residue. She explains that every time you switch from one task to another, a “residue” of your attention stays with the previous task for a while — whether you’re aware of it or not. Do this often enough, and you find yourself producing a low-quality, distracted work and taking more time to complete it.

In a world where our devices are designed to control us and our clients are conditioned to expect a reply within minutes (if not seconds!), establishing boundaries and creating a healthy work environment — one that limits distractions — can help foster the deep creativity and focus that HSPs need.

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Creating Boundaries Around Work

In his book Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World, Cal Newport explains how to keep shallow work from interrupting deep focus. For starters, he encourages establishing a clearly defined end to your workday. “If you keep interrupting your evening to check and respond to email or put aside a few hours after dinner to catch up on an approaching deadline,” Newport says, “you’re robbing your directed attention centers of the uninterrupted rest they need for restoration.”

Even short dives into your work world — a quick reply to an email or a 20-minute review of one of your pressing projects — can signal to your brain that you’re in work mode, preventing the deep relaxation necessary to restore your mind for the next day. That, in turn, makes it harder to focus deeply during work time itself.

For me, establishing a strict end to my workday was just the first step. I went on to cultivate a “single-task” work environment for myself, which has helped me develop a healthier work-life balance. Here are several ways I did that — and the tools I used. You may need to adapt these suggestions to fit your specific job (and the expectations of your boss!), but I believe they can work for many different jobs.

5 Ways to Create Your ‘Single-Tasking’ Work Life

1. Set a schedule — for work and rest

Social media can be useful for making connections, and email is essential for most businesses today. Schedule time in the margins of your day to deal with that stuff, but then schedule time to be entirely unavailable to anything else but your most focused work. And then, of course, schedule a time to be finished with all work for the day, as Newport suggested — especially if you’re currently working from home and have less structure to your day.

2. Automate the shallow work (yes, it’s possible!)

For me, my shallow work consists of schedule talk, which can go on endlessly. “Are you available to proofread a job due tomorrow?” “Sure. How many pages, and what time will you need it back?” “7:00.” “A.M. or P.M.?” You get the idea.

And because it’s important not to miss expedite requests, this back-and-forth could all be happening while I’m preparing breakfast for my family or hanging out with my daughters. Find ways to make technology work for you. I decided to get a scheduling app called Calendly. My clients can now schedule themselves into my week based on my availability, answering the questions that prompt them when they go to schedule it.

3. Communicate your boundaries clearly

Actions communicate — make sure that your actions communicate the right message. By scheduling time away from work, I communicate to my family that they are important to me. Even if you live on your own, taking time away from work communicates to yourself that you deserve to rest.

But what does it communicate to your clients or boss if you are suddenly unavailable for several hours at a time when they are used to an immediate reply from you?

If the nature of your work relies on constant communication, consider setting up an autoresponder that provides relevant information. Before I used a scheduler, I’d set up an autoresponder that detailed my availability for the week and gave my clients permission to send any work they had that worked with my availability.

It’s also important to be consistent about when you are willing to communicate about work. I generally shut everything down at the same time every day, and I do not do any work on Sundays at all. My clients know when they can reach me, and if it’s important, they’ll make sure to get in touch before I shut down for the night.

4. Use tools to minimize distractions

I enjoy working with a simple pen and paper, but it’s quite cumbersome to do that in today’s world. In searching for something that mimics the analog feel of pen and paper, I came across the reMarkable tablet, a minimalist paper-like tablet which allows me to read, write, and transfer documents to my laptop.

Because of the paper-like screen, I can take my work outside in the sunshine and fly through work while my kids run around having fun. I’ve been able to shift 85% of my work to this device, and just in the first month using it, I made more money, worked less hours, and was, in general, a more focused and happy person than in previous seasons as a freelancer. Of course, my “deep work” is going to look different from those who are not responsible for a young family.

Find the tools that work best for you, preferably ones that, by their nature, offer minimal functionality. Get creative and see if there’s a part of your workflow you can shift away from your distracting devices and onto something more with a more analog feel.

5. Use technology to control technology

When you do need to use those devices that have built-in notification systems and are specifically designed to pull us in several directions at once, I suggest utilizing apps and settings that help control and limit distractions. I’ve found Boomerang (which I use to keep emails out of my inbox until I’m ready for them) and If This Then That (which I use to manipulate notifications so that I only see the important ones at the right time) really helpful. And, of course, the “Do Not Disturb” function in most device settings is great. If you find you need a little more help keeping away from distraction, there are several apps that literally lock you out of distracting websites and devices altogether.

Being a “single-task” worker requires a mindset shift. Making these adjustments can be beneficial across the board, but as an HSP, fostering a focused environment for deep work is a real game changer — because deep processing is what we do best.

No matter your work situation during the pandemic, single-tasking can help you do more than just “survive” this chaotic and uncertain time with your mental health intact. If you can master the practice of doing deep work now, you’re actually equipping yourself to thrive as a more focused, creative, and productive person when you return to business as usual.

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12 Ways High Sensitivity Is Your Greatest Strength in the Workplace

Melody Wilding, LMSW — Wed, 06 Aug 2025 11:00:00 +0000

Thinking and feeling deeply are just part of your career superpowers as an HSP.

When you’re a highly sensitive person (HSP), navigating your career can be challenging.

Common workplace situations that may be moderately stressful to others — like speaking in meetings or getting feedback (even over Zoom these days) — can quickly overstimulate you. In fact, studies show that workers with sensory processing sensitivity (the trait’s scientific name) tend to experience more stress than their less sensitive peers.

In addition to being more sensitive to stimuli, HSPs process information more deeply and thoroughly. So it’s not uncommon to overthink decisions, beat yourself up for working more slowly than others, or judge yourself for not being gregarious and outspoken.

High Sensitivity in the Workplace

As a coach to highly sensitive professionals, I frequently see clients struggle with self-doubt and imposter syndrome that result from being in the minority. Only about 20 percent or so of the population is highly sensitive (meaning they have a more responsive nervous system), so it’s no wonder you feel different — because you are.

But “different” is not bad; thinking and feeling deeply isn’t a defect. You see, your sensitive qualities, when channeled productively, can be your career superpowers. The research proves it: managers consistently rate people with higher sensitivity as their top contributors. That’s because HSPs are thoughtful, conscientious, empathetic, and dedicated, all of which make them ideal employees and leaders.

The key to using your high sensitivity as a strength in the workplace comes down to self-acceptance and confidence. Stepping into your power requires you to recognize that your innate qualities are both rare and valuable, particularly in today’s business world where incivility seems to reign.

Plus, as work becomes more automated, the need for professionals like you — ones with natural intuition and creativity — has never been more crucial. Your abilities can never be replicated by technology.

It’s time that your highly sensitive self fully leverages your unique gifts and brings a refreshing set of contributions to the table. Here’s how.

12 Superpowers HSPs Bring to the Workplace

Stepping into your power as an HSP requires you to recognize that your innate qualities are rare and in demand — and to know the value that gives you.

1. You’re diplomatic when it matters most.

As a highly sensitive person, you think longer and more deliberately before speaking. This tendency to pause before acting is a hallmark of sensory-processing sensitivity, according to psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron, who first discovered the high sensitivity trait.

That means you’re thoughtful with your words. And in the workplace, this translates into being able to balance different people’s perspectives and tactfully communicate, even when the pressure is on.

2. You’re a brilliant critical thinker.

Studies have shown that sensitive people have more active brain circuitry and neurochemicals in areas related to mental processing. So the HSP brain not only takes in more information, but also processes that information in a more complex way.

Work-wise, you are likely heralded for the way you explore various angles and paths, whether it’s a proposal for a new business plan or trying to solve a team challenge.

3. Your self-awareness is unmatched.

As an HSP, you have a vibrant inner life and are likely well-acquainted with your emotional landscape. One reason for this is because high sensitivity is linked to a gene that increases the vividness of inner experiences.

While this level of self-awareness may be second-nature to you, it’s an indisputable asset in terms of your career. For example, people with a more accurate self-perception tend to perform better in the workplace and are better able to tailor their leadership style to the situation at hand.

4. You’re skilled at spotting opportunities for innovation.

Evolutionarily speaking, picking up on environmental cues and recognizing things that less sensitive people missed helped HSPs make wiser decisions and come out ahead in threatening situations.

In the modern world, for example, this vigilance means you’re constantly scanning for ways to make improvements in the workplace and offering novel suggestions. You probably also find that you’re the person who highlights gaps before they become problems, which can save your company valuable time and money.

In essence, your attention to subtleties makes you a creative, inventive problem-solver.

5. You’re capable of integrating and managing large amounts of information.

A large majority of my coaching clients are Product Managers or Project Managers.

This may sound strange, but it makes complete sense when you think about it: HSPs’ depth of processing and conscientiousness are the perfect combination for roles that require organization, collaboration, strategy, and information management as core skills.

6. You have a pulse on team morale.

Research shows that HSPs have more active mirror neurons (which helps them empathize and understand other people’s behavior). This is why you may find that you can sense people’s moods long before they say a word, as well as absorb their emotions as if they were your own.

Many of my coaching clients find they have a talent for anticipating people’s emotional needs in the workplace — whether sensing when their team is burned out, knowing if a certain individual needs more support, or reading between the lines to suss out when their client or boss is unsatisfied.

So, once again, HSPs in the workplace can be a big asset.

7. You have strong intuition.

Have you ever had the experience of knowing a situation feels off? Or how about the opposite — feeling in your gut that a certain direction or decision is absolutely right?

That’s your intuition speaking loud and clear (or as I call it, your “sensitive sixth sense”).

As an HSP, you have a great capacity to recognize patterns and synthesize different inputs, which can be a secret weapon in decision-making. Your intuition is more highly developed than that of non-HSPs because you’re constantly adding new data to your bank of knowledge about the world and yourself.

And according to a survey of top executives, the majority of leaders leverage feelings and experience when handling crises.

8. You impress with your thoroughness.

As an HSP, you are the one who shows up to a presentation with comprehensive data. Or you might be the coworker who spends extra time preparing to dazzle an important client.

Whatever the case may be, your dedication and commitment wows others and oozes professionalism. You’re looked to to drive excellence and uphold standards.

These attributes position you to advance, as long as you don’t let perfectionism or negative thinking get in your way.

9. You focus on the big picture.

HSPs don’t dabble in the mundane. In the workplace, you are likely after the bigger “why” behind strategies and actions your team is taking.

Driving towards a larger purpose helps keep people grounded and focused, particularly in the face of uncertainty. As a leader, you are effective at helping others find meaning and fulfillment in their work, qualities anyone would want in a great boss.

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10. You create a harmonious work environment.

Your experience as an outsider has probably made you passionate about inclusion.

Due to your ultra awareness and empathy, you value different working styles. As a result, you give people the space to be independent and create working conditions where they can thrive.

11. You’re a pillar of integrity.

HSPs deeply value fairness. In fact, research shows that HSPs tend to score higher on ratings of justice and ethics in studies.

In your career, that means you uphold your promises and stick to your word. You can always be counted on to follow through (even if it sometimes comes at the cost of your own well-being).

And now more than ever, your voice can make a difference in the workplace, especially when it involves speaking up in the face of inequity or mistreatment of others.

12. You’re constantly learning and growing.

Every client I’ve worked with has an insatiable thirst for knowledge. These highly sensitive professionals have a high drive for growth and are frequently immersed in personal and professional enrichment outside of work that may include coaching, courses, certifications, books, and additional training.

This is the best career insurance there is, because it always ensures you’re evolving and advancing, regardless of the conditions around you.

As a highly sensitive person who experiences strong emotions, you might feel like you’re carrying a heavy load at times, especially at work. But the truth is, you likely have a huge amount of untapped value to share with your coworkers, clients, and in your career as a whole.

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Why Highly Sensitive People Are Well-Suited to Working With Kids

Vera Doorbar — Mon, 04 Aug 2025 09:43:06 +0000

Highly sensitive people are extraordinarily skilled at “seeing” others and knowing what they need — which includes kids.

Highly sensitive people (HSPs) are both heartbreakingly delicate and extremely strong. Making up around 20 percent of the population, HSPs feel deeper, have exceptionally powerful intuition, and can relate easily to other people since they absorb their emotions with the blink of an eye. They’re able to connect and “get” others in a way which less sensitive people may find difficult to understand. This makes HSPs valuable employees for the jobs that require people skills — they excel in teaching, nursing, counseling, and many other caring professions.

As an HSP who works with special needs children, I find it immensely exciting and rewarding, making it one of the ideal jobs for highly sensitive types. Working with children has dramatically changed my life and shifted my previously negative approach to my sensitivity to a more positive outlook. It turns out that my abilities to quietly listen and empathize with children means the world to them, and to me. My extreme sensitivity to just about anything — which I thought of as a weakness in the past — makes children easily relate to me, as they’re often naturally more sensitive compared to adults.

But what makes us HSPs so perfect to work with children? Here’s what I’ve found.

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6 Reasons HSPs Are Well-Suited to Working With Kids

1. Your endless empathy will make them feel seen and heard.

Children have the capacity to feel and act on their own emotions, but not necessarily to regulate them. And because HSPs are extraordinarily skilled at “seeing” others — it’s like we have secret powers — they can help them process their feelings. This will reduce overwhelm, overstimulation, and anxiety. Often, we HSPs intuitively know exactly how we can help, which is a big benefit at our workplaces.

2. HSPs are great listeners and always present.

Nothing is more important for kids than to have a listening, caring adult who is patient and understanding. Every educator knows that some children may exhibit challenging behavior, especially children with additional needs. HSPs are known for their remarkable ability to relate to even the most difficult humans, and our love and compassion for them creates a strong bond.

3. You have a lot in common with kids, from your zest for life to your child-like wonder about the world.

With an uncanny zest for life and endless curiosity, HSPs have a lot in common with kids and are able to integrate into their lives with ease. Working with children made me rediscover the forgotten sweat of running in a field, the joy of scoring a goal, the sweet smell of autumn leaves thrown in the air, the sudden laugh about anything, and trust, this undeniable, unquestionable, ultimate trust. No one ever was able to trust me so completely and wholeheartedly like a child with special needs under my care. And one captured my heart with such intensity, making me question the meaning of my sensitivity; saying goodbye to him at the end of the school year was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.

4. You seek meaning and purpose in the world, and want others to, as well.

HSPs need to have meaning and purpose in everything they do; we seek personal growth while yearning for a routine. Working with kids is rewarding and worthwhile for future generations, too, and it ticks many boxes for us HSPs. While we have great challenges as highly sensitive souls, our HSP qualities also create a world of balance and harmony for ourselves and those around us. We continue to rejoice in simple, yet complex, fundamental aspects of life, enhanced by our deeply sensitive hearts — and we take our kids with us. Spending time with my students during their break, playing a game, coloring, singing, and just talking and being present with them creates the capacity for learning almost never seen during formal lessons. That was an eye-opener and a gift for me, and helped me grow as both a professional and as a person.

5. Because you are passionate about what you do, “work” doesn’t seem like work.

Because of their sensory processing differences, HSPs are able to feel extraordinary joy in doing what they love. Everybody who is lucky enough to find a job in the area of their passion may experience this authentic delight in what they do. But our tender personalities allow us to feel exquisitely intense, larger-than-life passion. And children can pick up on that. Knowing that someone adores working with them will leave them with no option but to love us back.

One of the challenges for HSPs is to prove their worth, as most HSPs are magnificently quiet about that. We’re not known to seek recognition about our own success, even though working with children provides recognition of our talents and value for our sensitivity trait. But, rest assured, your immense impact on young souls will be noticed and commemorated. The parent of the child in a special needs school I used to work at once said to me, “There is something about you. I don’t know what it is, I have no name for it, but you are the one who makes all the difference for my child.”

6. HSPs are all about connecting with others, no matter their age.

The beauty of humans is in their complexity. Understanding children doesn’t mean “knowing” — understanding means “connecting” (which HSPs excel at). The connection shapes us as to who we are. As children are the future of humanity, connecting with them puts us in extraordinary positions of finding spiritual meaning, and, ultimately, the meaning of life. In a sense, we are shaping and fostering humanity.

Working With Children Can Be a Challenge, Too — Especially for HSPs

I have no intention to glamorize working with children. Although I feel lucky to work with beautiful special needs kids, the job can be demanding, exhausting, and at times, extremely challenging. For highly sensitive people, the challenges are amplified: Just like we can feel immense joy from someone’s smile, the smallest problem can propel us into despair. It’s a blessing and a curse.

In a teaching profession, there are many passion-killers, such as endless and confusing paperwork, a phenomenal lack of time for planning, and, my “favorite” (as it creates massive emotional overload): criticism. So-called “constructive feedback” of my performance wounds my whole body and I feel the consequences for a long time. Plus, we HSPs do not take criticism well and are also our own harshest critics. Adding to our already-prepositioned negative perception of what we’ve done “wrong” may destroy us emotionally at times.

But even with ultimate pressures and demands to stretch our often-fragile mental health, we soldier on, bouncing off various emotions and sensory stimuli. The chaotic whirlpool may try to swallow us, creating an almost unbearable fear, anxiety, and fatigue. But with our capacity to be sucked into our own negativity, we also have miraculous abilities to be pulled back up sometimes by an unexpected force. For me, that force was a child’s hand. What is it for you? That’s what’ll make it all worth it and keep you going.

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Why Highly Sensitive People Make the Best Leaders

Eric Owens — Wed, 04 Jun 2025 06:00:00 +0000

Do HSPs have the potential to be the best leaders in the world?

A highly sensitive person (HSP) has the traits of a natural-born leader. They’re arguably the best people anyone could hire to run an organization.

As humans, we’re all emotional creatures. So the more equipped we are to understand people’s emotions, the better we can lead them. That’s why I believe HSPs are born to lead — because understanding people’s emotions is natural to them. When we understand people’s emotions well, we know what to say to get the best out of them. And getting the best out of people is what being a good leader is all about.

Of course, just as being tall doesn’t guarantee you’ll be an NBA star, one personality trait doesn’t guarantee you’ll be a good leader. Keeping that in mind, let’s see how HSPs have the potential to be among the best leaders in the world.

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Why HSPs Make the Best Leaders

1. Their awareness of details empowers their organization.

One of the key characteristics of HSPs is they notice (and remember) almost everything. The directions to the store, the exact item to get, the amount they’ll save, and so on.Those things may seem like minor details, but minor details add up to achieving a bigger picture.

For example, let’s say a particular person working for you is vegan, doesn’t like foul language, and appreciates quiet environments. An HSP’s awareness of those details makes them able to create an environment that best suits the worker. HSPs would know to give them a work space that’s more secluded, use appropriate language around them, and provide specialized vegan meals in the cafeteria.

Because of how important it is for HSPs to work in the best environment, they naturally make sure others have that best environment, too.

In addition, HSPs remember things their workers are doing well, and what they need to improve on. HSPs can be laser-focused on giving their followers the right work material to fix a skill that’s lacking. They may even know which areas of work would be best for each specific worker to do.

For example, an HSP might remember that one of their workers is really good at writing. As a result, they’ll get them to do more work related to writing.

2. Their high emotional intelligence comforts others.

HSPs pick up on feelings quicker than most people. This is a very effective trait for a leader. You need to know when people are feeling overwhelmed and need help. An example would be a worker who looks like they’ve not been themselves lately. An HSP leader would know what to do to help them re-energize themselves, perhaps even sending them counseling services to help with their stress.

Highly sensitive people can also lead by doing some of the counseling themselves. I know with friends and close people in my life, I’m usually the one they come to for advice. Is that the case for you?

HSPs tend to get at the deeper issues that are causing the stress to occur. They listen more closely to not just what a person says, but how that person sounds, and what their body language communicates.

Their sensitivity allows them to feel people’s emotions deeply, and they take greater care in helping people get through negative ones. And because HSPs tend to show more care and do more to help, they foster better relationships in their organization. The better mood people are in, the more likely they will all get along. That creates a happier work environment for everybody to do their best.

We live in a culture that often applauds leaders who are tough-minded, strong, and hard on their followers. Leaders who push people to extremes to get the best out of them.

Maybe there’s a time and place for that. But perhaps a more effective leader is someone who gives comfort and emotional support to their followers. That kind of leadership helps people feel encouraged to keep doing their best — all because they feel valued and appreciated.

3. People trust HSPs more, creating organizational trust.

People can say a lot of negative things about HSPs, but I think it’s hard to say they’re not honest. HSPs have a much harder time hiding what they feel.

This is important, because people have to believe their leader has integrity. So with HSPs generally being more honest and authentic, they garner more trust. As a result, that makes people more likely to listen and follow their direction.

4. Highly sensitive people inspire.

The ability to inspire requires the ability to touch people’s hearts. So who better to touch a person’s heart than a highly sensitive person? Inspiring people involves knowing the words that hit the right tone and the right message.

HSPs are so in tune with those kinds of subtleties, giving them the potential to inspire others. Also, feeling emotions intensely gives them an advantage in expressing themselves in a powerful way. That can really motivate and inspire those around them to work harder.

People are quick to follow others who show their passion for their beliefs and values. There’s maybe no other type of leader that can be more passionate than an HSP.

5. HSPs naturally delegate well.

Many leaders really struggle with micromanaging everything. This causes two problems: One, there’s a lack of trust between the leader and the follower, and that can hinder open communication. Two, this distracts the leader from focusing on the most important tasks.

For an HSP, it can feel overwhelming to focus on more than one or two big things in the day. They hate being busy. Some could look at this as a weakness, but I see it as a strength, because it makes you more likely to delegate tasks to others. This accomplishes two helpful things:

You give yourself more time to get your important tasks done.
Your trust in your employees to handle things builds their confidence.

6. Their need to recharge makes them effective.

Effective leaders know when to take care of themselves. They know if they take care of themselves, they’ll be their best in leading others. HSPs instinctively know when to give themselves a break and recharge their batteries. Workaholic leaders, on the other hand, burn themselves out, which leads to poor decisions and bad management.

7. HSPs try harder to avoid mistakes.

Highly sensitive people hate mistakes, so they analyze every possible outcome before making big decisions.

This kind of thoughtful deliberation can help a leader make great decisions. But be careful to avoid overthinking and not fall into perfectionism. You have to keep reminding yourself that even if you make a wrong decision, it helps you learn and do better. When HSPs realize what the right decision is after a mistake, they likely don’t make that same mistake twice.

Some leaders will only focus on their successes. The best leaders focus on their failures that help them grow and be better. This puts HSPs a step ahead of the rest in leadership. HSPs are also credible enough to hold everyone else to a high standard of decision-making as well.

8. Their natural creativity makes them innovative.

Steve Jobs once said, “Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.” The best leaders know how to make themselves and their followers stand out through creativity. The HSP’s ability to notice the subtlety of sounds, sights, and smells helps them come up with new and different ideas. Many HSPs are naturally creative, which gives them an edge in innovation.

9. Their sensitivity to criticism makes them more constructive.

Knowing how to deliver criticism can separate the good leaders from the bad ones. HSPs are highly aware of how criticism affects people, given their own sensitive experience with it. As a result, they may be more constructive in their feedback. This helps keep their employees confident they can do their job, and keep getting better.

Don’t Be Afraid to Lead

As a highly sensitive person, you have a gift for leadership. You can empathize with others in a way that makes them feel understood and loved. And because you can make people feel that way, you’re more able to get the best out of them. HSPs are the kind of leaders we need in this world now more than ever.

Don’t be afraid to take a chance. Be the one who can lead people in the best way possible. You just might help make the world a better place.

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Why Your Workplace Doesn’t Value HSPs — and How to Change That

Linda Binns — Mon, 05 May 2025 10:00:00 +0000

Your workplace can value your HSP nature if you help others understand you and what you need — and the unique abilities you bring to the table.

Do you feel valued and fulfilled at work? Do you feel that you can be your authentic self and that you’re appreciated for exactly who you are?

If you answered yes, then you should celebrate, because you have found an employer who understands the benefits of allowing — and even encouraging — their employees to bring their full selves to work.

I believe that most highly sensitive people (HSPs), however, are not so fortunate — many of the HSPs I meet are not happy at work. They struggle a great deal. Here are just some of the comments my clients have shared with me:

“I find it a challenge to communicate my needs as HSP. I feel like I need to fight for myself all the time. And after ‘the battle,’ I feel extremely exhausted.”

“I am feeling under-valued, overwhelmed, and taken advantage of.”

“I have a difficult time with feeling overstimulated at work, and have lost several jobs because of this.”

(Not) Being Accepted for Who We Are

In an ideal world, we would all be accepted and appreciated for who we are. Our needs would be easily and happily met because our employers and colleagues would recognize that it makes sense to do so.

But that is not the case, because the word “sensitive” tends to have negative connotations. If we are sensitive, we are considered to be weak, fragile, and perhaps even weird.

This can make us stand out when we really don’t want to, and forces us to try to hide our sensitive nature and be something we’re not. I think there are two primary reasons for this.

There are more non-HSPs than HSPs. Since nearly 30 percent of the population is highly sensitive, that means 70 percent or so is not. The latter experiences the world completely differently from us and does not understand how we see, think, or feel. They have no frame of reference, so they think there has to be something “wrong” with us — even though being sensitive is not a disorder.

You may have experienced this not only in the workplace, but perhaps even within your family.

I recently had a business conversation with a woman who is not highly sensitive, and who wanted to understand what it is that I do. She was not familiar with the sensitivity trait, and as I was explaining it to her, she suddenly said, “That’s my son — he’s exactly like that.”

Her son was a teenager and she said she and her husband had spent the whole of his life thinking there must be something “wrong” with him because of the way he reacts to things and of how different he seems.

For example, from a very young age, whenever any kind of change was going to happen for the family (as big as going to a new school or moving to a new house and as small as rearranging furniture in the house), he would become very overwhelmed and upset.

She learned that he needed time to process the change — since HSPs don’t love change. Once he had, he was fine, but she always wondered what was “wrong” and what made him act the way he did.

After speaking to her, she now has a new understanding of why he responds the way he does and will be able to connect with him in a new way, she said, with more empathy and understanding. All because of our 20-minute conversation.

Non-HSPs don’t know what to do or how to react. I recently saw a question posted in a human resources group I belong to. An HR manager mentioned that she had an employee who seemed to take everything personally and would often burst into tears. This manager was trying to help her, but said the person’s behavior would really disrupt the office. Plus, coworkers were confused by her behavior and walked on eggshells around her. The HR manager asked for input on how to deal with this employee.

Many of the comments (likely coming from non-HSPs) were along the lines of:

“She needs some mental health assistance and therapy.”
“She’s probably struggling with anxiety and depression.”
“She might be incompetent and cries to get out of taking on more responsibility.”
“If she can’t fix her behavior, let her go.”

I posted an answer to the question, saying that this person may well be highly sensitive, and attached an article explaining the trait in more detail. I received so many responses from group members wanting to know more that I’m now doing a presentation to the group to teach them about their HSP employees.

From this experience I learned that it’s not necessarily that others don’t care; it’s that they have no idea what to do or how to help. They have no frame of reference for what is happening with a sensitive person.

Of course, some organizations don’t truly value any of their employees, and there’s not much you can do if that’s the case. However, some organizations do value their employees (as in this case), but they have no understanding of what sensitivity is and what it means.

I think that many more HSPs would enjoy their job — and could thrive — if only they knew how.

Reasons Highly Sensitive People Often Struggle at Work

I think there are several reasons HSPs often struggle at work. Some of these include:

They are trying to force themselves to fit in and be like everyone else
They are scared to be thought of as “sensitive”
They think there’s something wrong with them
They don’t understand their own emotions and energy, so don’t know what they need
They don’t feel heard
They take on other people’s energy
Toxic people are drawn to them

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

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How HSPs Can Change Things in Their Workplace

I think that we have the power — and the responsibility — to change things. Not only for our own sake as highly sensitive people, but for the sake of other HSPs out there, too. Here’s how:

You must fully value, appreciate, and accept yourself as an HSP. If you don’t value and appreciate yourself, then don’t expect others to. This means understanding yourself at the deepest levels. For example, knowing what energizes or drains you, and what you need to be at your best. While being in nature or music may energize you, back-to-back meetings and negative people may drain you. To be at your best, you make sure to do things like schedule some alone time every day and make sure your work environment is quiet so you can focus well.
Know your value as an HSP. Highly sensitive people have many skills and gifts — we are conscientious, intuitive, have a vision, and are creative — and we also see and feel things others don’t. These are gifts. Understand your uniqueness and the value you bring to the work that you do and the organization you work for. For instance, one HSP friend has worked in sales for many years. She has consistently been the highest performer because she connects with her customers on a deeper level. They come back to her time and time again because she listens and they feel understood.
Help others to understand you and to understand what you need. Let people know how to support you — let them know what works for you and what doesn’t. This is not about asking for special treatment; it’s about recognizing what you need in order to be the best you can be at work and then confidently articulating that. For example, you may need 30 minutes to yourself after your morning meetings, so you block out that time and your assistant or coworkers know not to schedule anything then.
Take good care of your energy. Practice self-care at work and at home. For example, maintain a clutter-free environment, stay away from toxic people, set healthy boundaries, and make taking care of your energy your number one priority. Be aware of when (and how) you might take on other people’s energy and emotions. Be the healthiest, most vibrant version of yourself that you can be.
Be yourself — confidently. If you believe there is something wrong with you that needs to be fixed, that’s how other people will see you and they will treat you accordingly. Instead, learn to embrace the unique qualities you have as an HSP. Recognize that being highly sensitive is a strength. When you see yourself this way you will gain confidence, become better at knowing and asking for what you need, and be good at setting boundaries. Others will naturally begin to respond more positively to you, which will grow your confidence even more.

HSPs, You Have the Power to Change the Dynamic in Your Workplace

As HSPs, you really do have the power to change your experience. I won’t say that it’s always easy. Even though I work with HSPs and am one myself, there are times when I feel overwhelmed or depleted. But I don’t stay there. When that happens, I know what to do to take care of myself, to reset, and restore my energy, and that’s what I do. For me, this means spending even just a few minutes in nature, and always reaching for good and positive feeling thoughts; for you, it may mean meditating. Try a few different things out and then go from there.

When I experience a difficult situation, I always acknowledge whatever emotion I’m feeling (such as anger, frustration, or sadness) and then I ask myself, “What do I need to learn from this situation so that I can move on?” This takes me out of “victim” mode and helps me acknowledge that I have the power to bring about positive change.

When you can truly accept yourself and see your HSP trait as the gift that it is, then you’ll be able to help others know what it is that you need. Not in a complaining way, but in an assertive and confident way. Then they will see the best of you, and that’s how non-HSPs will begin to appreciate the value that we bring to the table as HSPs.

We have the power to start making that happen right now. So what are you waiting for?

If you’d like to learn how to be more valued and appreciated at work, and enjoy your job more, you’re invited to join one of my free Value Me round-table discussion groups, where you can let your voice be heard.

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Empathy Is a Rare and Valuable Strength in the Workforce

Alissa Boyer — Mon, 03 Mar 2025 11:00:00 +0000

The throughline of my life has been that I care too much.

I’m uber sensitive — a highly sensitive person (HSP) right down the line. I don’t really play it cool. I’m easily excitable and it shows. I often overextend myself for others. And I put my heart and soul into almost everything I do. But, I always used to wish that I cared less.

People who give zero f#%&s have always intrigued me. The ones who are never afraid to speak their mind, don’t get rattled by someone disliking them, blaze their own path. How do they just not care?

I’ve admired their attitude longingly even while saying “Yes!” to helping my friend move, or staying late at work to perfect a project for my boss. Still, I didn’t think it was cool to be someone like me — someone who gets so invested in everything. Especially not at work.

Are you a highly sensitive person? Here’s how to know for sure.

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When the Workplace Makes Caring Seem Uncool

At my previous company, caring definitely wasn’t an attitude that helped you climb the ladder. The people who held high positions had an edge about them — they led with aggression and intimidation. It was almost glorified to be intimidating. Think The Devil Wears Prada, except they really didn’t need to act that way.

Monday mornings after a weekend of poor sales were the worst. Hold onto your sales reports — it’s going to be a bumpy ride! When we met with upper management, it was like getting cross examined by an attorney. Why were sales so bad? Did we not have enough inventory? Why were we missing “size small” when I visited the store? I felt like a kitten surrounded by sharks that were ready to eat me alive.

I’d drive to work on those Monday mornings with a lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach. I figured the only way I’d succeed and move up was if I hardened my soft shell.

And don’t get me wrong, I knew how to put on my bossy pants. I definitely knew how to get stuff done. I was never one to go hide and cry at work (though there’s nothing wrong if that’s you!). But being highly sensitive made me care deeply about everything. I always wanted to be nice to people, exchange friendly emails, and make the workplace comfortable. It didn’t roll off my back when people were rude to me. Instead, it frustrated me and I’d need to talk about it.

So I tried to adopt the I don’t care attitude.

I Don’t Care. Wait, Yes I Do.

I tried and tried. I convinced myself that I didn’t care. I’d get spoken to harshly at work and it penetrated me deeply. I was filled with injustice. I thought, I don’t deserve to be talked to this way! But I only bottled it up inside, repeating, I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care.

A male coworker was super inappropriate toward me. Just be chill. Be one of the guys. Don’t make this some huge deal.

The loop went on. I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care.

I wanted to be this cool, laidback girl, so I kept all of those emotions inside, which ate me alive. I am, by my very nature, an emotional person. Repressing all of those feelings was super unhealthy for me. It was unnatural and my body told me so through stomach aches, migraines, and hair loss.

I Did Care. About Everything. A Lot.

This experience taught me resilience. Though that work environment was toxic for me, I did develop a thicker skin than if I’d just had it easy. Now, an undertone of rudeness or someone’s snotty attitude doesn’t bother me so much anymore because I worked in a place where that was the norm. It taught me to take things less personally.

But: Does it make it right for people to talk poorly to each other? Absolutely not. And for a workplace to almost glorify that type of behavior? Definitely not okay. I quit that job with a smile on my face.

In a world where it’s cool to say “I give zero f$%#s,” I’ve learned that to not care is not me.

What makes me me is my sensitive and caring nature. I’ve come to learn how it’s my greatest asset — it sets me apart. What a shame that I ever wanted to hide it. I’m an HSP and I’m proud of it!

Embracing this about myself — learning how to lean into it and use those strengths to my advantage — has helped me in so many aspects of my life. I’m stronger now than I ever would’ve been if I’d continued to suppress it.

Why Caring Matters

People want to work with people who care.

Actually caring about the people you’re working with and striving to do what’s good for the team — instead of thinking, “What’s in it for me?” — is a rare and precious trait. We all know those standout employees who are always helping others, doing exceptional work, getting creative, and staying late here and there. No complaints, no entitlement. We remember those people because they’re so different. We feel how much they care. You know what I mean?

The greatest leaders are those who understand the strengths of the individuals on their team and look for ways to empower them. They realize they aren’t any good without a solid and happy team. That means taking care of their people, listening, and building trust.

Empathetic people make great teammates and leaders because we’re able to anticipate the needs of others. Caring about people is weak? As if! If you asked me, leading a team of people who feel afraid and unhappy is weak. It only serves to reflect the leaders themselves.

Empathetic leaders are able to sense who needs to hear more compliments, who needs space, who works well together, and who needs time to vent and feel heard. Understanding all of this helps others to trust you and work well with you.

When you’re able to sense what others need to feel supported, you’re able to make them feel important, seen, and heard. Being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes is a huge strength and it’s what today’s workforce needs more of.

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5 Things I Wish the Work World Understood About HSPs

Lauren Bergman — Mon, 10 Feb 2025 12:00:00 +0000

As an HSP, your sensitive nature brings balance to the workplace. But do others realize that?

I’ve cried during at least three performance reviews. And it wasn’t because I was being reprimanded for poor work. Alas, for me, this emotional response is the result of being highly sensitive.

Of course, there’s a cultural norm that you should never cry at work. In the moment, I felt so unprofessional, and I usually try hard to convey total competence. What’s even harder to admit is that every one of those reviews was almost glowingly good. My output is excellent. I am reliable, responsible, and excellent at managing my workload. I build strong, close relationships with my team.

But my sensitivity to criticism can make me feel very fragile. The perfectionist in me never hears the positive feedback, and instead focuses like a laser on the smallest indication of something negative. It always came down to my personality not fitting in the corporate world — and each comment felt like a knife wound. I’m too emotional and wear my feelings on my sleeve (demonstrated so inconveniently by my tearful reaction to the review). I need to network more broadly to expand my influence. My expectations of others are too high. One supervisor even suggested that “my personality is my cross to bear.” The thought that the essence of me was my burden to carry — well, that one really hurt.

So I’ve always felt misunderstood in the work world. The weight of corporate life and caring so deeply caused me more stress than others seemed to carry. I dove into self-help literature to try to “fix myself” and find a way to cope. And then I read a book that changed my view of myself, and even changed my life. It was like someone turned a light on in a very dark place in my soul. Instead of trying to fix myself, I could start to understand and accept myself: I was a highly sensitive person (HSP).

(Not an HSP? Learn what it means to be a highly sensitive person.)

In The Highly Sensitive Person, psychologist Elaine Aron writes, “The business world is undoubtedly undervaluing its HSPs. People who are gifted and intuitive yet conscientious and determined not to make mistakes ought to be treasured employees. But we are less likely to fit into the business world when the metaphors for achievement are warfare, pioneering and expansion.”

Being a highly sensitive person (and an introvert) working in corporate America has led to a lot of stress and heartache for me. People don’t always “get me.” But I know I am capable, conscientious, and talented. And while I certainly understand the value of opening up and sharing more about myself, I secretly wish people understood these five things about working with a highly sensitive soul.

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What I Wish Others Knew About Working With HSPs

1. I’m not stuck up. I just have high expectations of myself.

I’m quiet, I’m a perfectionist, and I’m eager to please. I think this is true of a lot of HSPs. This gives some people the impression that we’re holier-than-thou taskmasters who need constant praise. But we’re not! We just have high expectations of ourselves. Sometimes I wish people could hear my inner dialogue — I constantly question what I could have done better, and I feel like I don’t fit in.

It reminds me of a line from Friends when Chandler is describing himself:

“Oh come on, Chandler is funny, he’s sophisticated, and he’s very loveable… Once. You. Get. To. Know. Him.”

I wish people would get to know their HSP coworkers before making judgements about their character.

2. If I ask for an office, it’s not because I think I’m more important. It’s because I need to focus.

To concentrate, I need a quiet space free of distractions. I get easily overwhelmed by lights, noise, and overheard conversations. I pick up on the energy around me. If someone in the cube next to me is angry or frustrated, it’s almost like I can feel their energy radiating from their space and fueling my feelings. This is a classic HSP trait — but private offices are hard to come by. At a previous job, I wanted to ask for an office so I could write in peace, but I was too fearful that it would be perceived negatively given our contentious office politics.

Unfortunately, this is a problem that’s not getting better. The trend toward open office spaces worries me, because 8-hour days in an open, exposed area can be extremely draining for HSPs.

3. My real personality comes out when you spend time with me one-on-one.

Despite my need for quiet space, I actually am an advocate of working closely with a small team. I believe that a more personal, human connection can make for stronger work. But that doesn’t mean that the only way to form those close connections is during happy hour or a team kickball game. Large groups are intimidating. Throw in drinking or a sports activity, and now I am racing to the “Decline” button on that invite.

Invite me to go out to lunch one-on-one or take a small group on an ice cream run instead. We can talk person-to-person, and I don’t have to worry about being asked why I’m not drinking or recount a horror story from the last time I played organized sports. Remember that what is fun for one isn’t necessarily fun for all.

4. I’m not built for dominance.

I worked on a team with three women and three men. We all were given a DISC assessment, which measures (among other things) how dominant you are. All of the women scored low on dominance and all of the men scored high. The men were then praised for their assuredness. The women were instead mentored to be less deferential and more dominant.

HSPs don’t always want to be dominant. We believe that a lot of truth gets left in the dust when the loudest voice in the room wins out. Or when no one asks for input from others before charging forward with implementation.

I prefer to lead in quieter ways, like leading by example. And I take time to think things over, but I always have an opinion or an idea on the next steps. For an HSP, scheduling one-on-one time after we’ve had a moment to reflect is a much more productive way to get useful feedback.

5. My highly sensitive nature brings balance to the workplace.

We’re so lucky to live in a world of yin and yang. We need opposing energies to find balance at home, at work, and within ourselves. I am an HSP to the core, but I am drawn toward non-HSPs for many reasons — I admire their ability to keep their feelings seperate from others and their ability to work through stressful situations in a calm way. The best workplaces recognize that a functional team requires a mix of personalities.

We need leaders and followers. We need introverts and extroverts. We need big picture thinkers and detail-oriented planners. We need strong, confident personalities — and we need highly sensitive people with caring hearts.

We spend so much time trying to change our behavior to mirror the values that others seek. No matter where we live, work, or play, this is my wish for us all — to be what we are and be celebrated for it.

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How To Find Your Dream Job as a Highly Sensitive Person

Rachel Nouwen — Wed, 02 Oct 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Your dream job may not be the one you think it is. Here’s how to know what will truly fulfill you as an HSP — and how to get a career in it.

If you’re anything like me, the changing of the seasons gets you thinking about what changes you’d like to see in your life. Perhaps your goals. Perhaps your relationships. Or perhaps your career. Do you still like your job? Is it fulfilling? Are you living your purpose?

Recently, I had to ask myself these questions — and more — when I changed jobs. As a highly sensitive person (HSP), I don’t just want a paycheck; I want a sense of meaning in my life, and I’d like my job to be part of that. If you’re an HSP, too, you might feel similarly: you might crave a sense of passion for your work, or the chance to contribute to a larger cause, or simply a work environment that doesn’t leave you feeling burned out.

(You’re likely also a deep thinker and don’t take any decision-making lightly — especially about something as major as your career.)

In case you, too, are facing a job or career change, I’d like to share the steps I took that led me to my decision — and a job I actually love. These steps are based on the things HSPs say they actually value in a job, and use the introspective approach that works for us. You can adapt them as you see fit, but if you’re an HSP, I believe they’ll help you find your dream job, too.

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7 Steps to Take to Find Your Dream Job as an HSP

1. Ask yourself: Who am I?

Since HSPs are so in tune with their emotions and intuition, the first step is to be truly honest with yourself about what you want — and need — in a job. Finding your purpose as a highly sensitive person is important, as well as essential to your happiness and feeling fulfilled by the work you do. Really do some soul-searching at this stage.

So ask yourself questions like this to get started:

Who are you?
What makes you you?
What kind of person are you?
Do you actually like working with people, or would you rather work with animals? Do you not mind commuting to work (via driving or public transportation), or would you rather be able to cycle or walk to work?
What do you need to function properly in a work environment?
What do you really desire in a job and what makes your skin crawl?
How will you connect with your colleagues without losing your own identity?
How has the HSP part of your personality helped you in your career, and on which front has it made your job challenging for you?

Don’t reply with answers that you feel you need to, or should, give. That won’t do you any good, for it is important to really get to know your “go”s and “no-go”s. For instance, for me, I realized I’d need kind coworkers and a quiet workplace. (My HSP brain gets overstimulated enough, so quiet is key!)

Another example is that I have a degree in teaching elementary school, but dreaded it and quit after seven months. (You can just imagine how overwhelming such a job can be for sensitive types!) But a few years ago, I started teaching gymnastics and love it. Yes, the study was challenging — and I needed to find my inner button to be more strict with the little girls (boundaries can be tough to set as an HSP!) — but I enjoy it so much and still learn a lot. So I learned that a job which involves children is not a bad match — just not one that’s six hours a day in front of 30 of them.

When getting to know your desires, wishes, and fears, I feel there is a difference between what your soul is telling you and what your ego is telling you. Your soul is pure, the real you. Whereas your ego is the part of you that is created by influences from parents, siblings, teachers, peers, and so on: “You need to achieve a high salary — you can’t be an artist for a living.” Or “You need to buy a big house — you need the status and can’t keep renting.” All these things are beliefs imposed by others. So investigate if you agree. Do you really believe that? And if so, why?

2. What are your likes and dislikes?

So now that you’ve really laid your soul out on the table and know what your heart is dreaming of, it’s time to go to the next step: Explore your career history. What kind of jobs did you like, and why? And what element(s) made it enjoyable for you? And not?

After I quit my job as a teacher, I spent quite a few years working at a daycare center and with kids after school. What I really liked was the movement in the job. I had to pick up the kids from school, we would play, do craft activities, and spend time outside. Being active pleases me, so these were important aspects of the job that I enjoyed.

And then move on to the bad experiences. What jobs still give you nightmares, and why? Was it the tasks you had to perform, was it the people you worked with, was it the environment? I have had my share of shady businesses and bosses that would look good in The Devil Wears Prada, so I have discovered situations (and people) I need to stay away from. Plus, we highly sensitive people generally don’t do well in environments where we’re often criticized. I know nobody would like that, but I feel such toxic behavior gets into an HSP’s core even more so, which makes the job at hand all the more difficult.

3. Break down your job “demands” into several small elements.

In step three, it’s time to do even more analyzing, a deeper dive into the above. I find it’s best if you break down your demands into several small elements. After all, certain things may affect us HSPs more so than non-HSPs, so it’s important to take those into consideration — the less overwhelm, the better!

Here are some example questions to ask yourself.

What is an acceptable travel distance to the job?
How many hours do you want to work? Minimum? Maximum? And daytime only? Or do you accept (or prefer) evening tasks?
Big company? Small organization?
What is the minimum salary that is acceptable to you? (Really do some calculations here!)
Do you want to be part of a big team? Or do more solo work?
Would you like to make work decisions on your own? Or follow somebody else’s lead?
Do you prefer doing small tasks? Or tackling big projects?
Do you need room to grow and the possibility of getting promoted?
How much responsibility do you want on your plate?
What is it you want to do and what should your job responsibilities look like (ideally)?
What makes you happy? Juggling multiple projects? Analyzing data? Helping others? Being creative? In essence, what makes your heart glow?
What kind of workplace do you envision while visualizing your dream job?
Do you want to sit behind a desk? Be on the move? Would you mind traveling for work?
Are you looking for extra perks, too, such as health insurance, bonuses, discounts, a free gym, and so on?

Of course, there are many more questions you can ask yourself, too, but the above should at least get you thinking about your dream job wants and needs.

4. Make a dream job “wish list.”

Now that you’ve thought about the above, write it all down (preferably, on index cards) and make your dream job “wish list.”

Next, write down each job “element” on a different card. So “close to home” on one and “solo work” on the other, for example.

With these cards, we will play a game. Choose two cards randomly and put them next to each other. Get in touch with your heart and soul and honestly answer the question: Which is more important? If you really had to choose between these two elements, which one would you choose?

Then set aside the chosen card and take another card from your pile and repeat the process. What this will do is determine your utter most important wish. This will be #1 on your list of dream job priorities.

Repeat the process with the remaining cards and discover what your #2 is, and so forth.

You will end up with a wish list ranked from most important to least important. Although I wish it were so, you may not find a job that has all the perks you desire. But by playing this game, you will definitely figure out what’s most important to you, which will lead to a job that has most of what you need.

5. Seek (your dream job) and you will find it.

In this step, you will compare your wish list with the job offers out there. Which one matches the most? Which one a little less? How does the job score on your wish list — does it include your Top 3? Personally, I think you shouldn’t consider a job that does not include your Top 3. At some point, you will be in the same position as now: Longing for something else and out there looking… again.

Another thing to do is talk to people with the sort of jobs you are exploring. Ask them about all the ins and outs, the good and the bad. Think about these responses alongside your soul-searching discoveries. Then ask yourself: Will this job fit your personality? (On paper, you may have thought so, but in talking to others, you may realize that there’s more to it.)

6. It’s not about you — it’s about them.

A big game-changer for me was the concept of viewing the company as a candidate. It is not about them liking me (okay a little… ha-ha!), but it soon became about me liking them! And, of course, in a challenging job market, you may need to be less strict with your desires if paying the mortgage is dependent on it.

I’m sure you can relate to this, the feeling of sitting there in the interview room, being anxious and so conscious about what you do, what you say, and how you look. What if you turned the tables on them?

Try to think: You are great the way you are and they would be lucky to have you on their team. So, see? It is about them.

Somehow, companies think they can ask anything of their employees, that they should be thankful to even have a job. Are they forgetting that without people working for them, they would have absolutely nothing? No business, no customers, no profit, no status.

Instead, try to look at a job as a fair transaction. You will spend your time, and use your amazing HSP gifts, to help the company prosper. In return, you’ll get paid. The deal is one of equality. So if you meet a potential manager and feel smaller, insignificant, or anxious, it is not the right match for you. Like with other relationships, you should get a good feeling about the person/company, not a bad one.

Also, pay attention to how you are treated during the whole process of applying for the job. What kind of response did you receive? I once got the reply, “If you don’t hear from us, you will not be invited for an interview.” I thought that if a company does not even take the time and respect to simply send me a rejection email, they are not worth my energy and time. So look for little red flags like this — which are indicative of larger ones!

And be aware of how the people you talk to act around you. Do they speak fondly of their coworkers? Does the manager express proudness when talking about the team? Are they interested in you as a person?

A job interview is not only an opportunity for the company to ask you questions, but you should also ask questions.

Ask things like:

What will be some challenges of this job?
How are conflicts between coworkers resolved?
What does the future of the team/company look like?
What management style is applied?
What do you like about working here?
How would you describe the work/office culture?
What would you like to change about the organization?

The more questions you can think of, the better. And pay attention to how the hiring manager responds, nonverbally (like through their body language) as much as verbally.

In essence, try to have a balanced conversation (more so than an “interview”). This will result in you knowing what the manager will expect of you, as well as what you can expect from them. Plus, they will probably appreciate your thoroughness in asking so many questions!

7. Follow your heart, for it truly knows what you want.

All in all, listen to the old adage: “Follow your heart.”

In the process of finding my current job, I followed the steps above. Although the job I took included working in an open office of about 12 desks, I took it anyway and told my bosses about my issues with noise. (HSPs are sensitive to noise, as you probably know!) And you know what? They gave me the most silent place in the office and gave me the option of working from home. So, fellow HSPs, speak up!

This process taught me to stick to my beliefs, stay true to myself, follow my heart, and ask for what I need. And you should, too! You never know what you will receive unless you ask for it. And let me tell you: You wholeheartedly deserve it, every bit of it! Start believing this!

Do you have any tips for fellow HSP’son their path toward their dream job? Please share them with us in the comments below!

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Rethinking Your Career? 4 Things HSPs Should Consider

Val Nelson — Wed, 07 Aug 2024 13:00:00 +0000

Even if it seems impossible to rethink and switch careers, it’s not — when you do, you’ll feel satisfied that you found a job you love.

“My work is too draining.” I hear that a lot from highly sensitive people (HSPs) who contact me for career and business coaching.

I’m here to tell you that work does not have to be draining, even for HSPs. I believe everyone can find a career where they can thrive. Recent upheaval in the work world — from changing work environments to shifting work-life balance — have led many people to take a new look at their work life and their job choices.

Or perhaps your workplace culture is toxic, or your boss is, or you’re simply finding yourself overworked, overstimulated, and undervalued — just know it’s okay to make a plan to leave your job. You do not have to stay in a situation that’s leaving you burnt out and unhappy, and you’re not obligated to “fix” your job to make it better for you if it’s truly an unhealthy environment. If you feel, deep in your heart, that it’s time to look for something better: You’re right.

No matter what the reason is, if you are rethinking your career, you aren’t alone. Throughout most of 2021, we’ve seen record-breaking numbers of “quits” in the U.S., according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, and this “Great Resignation” is happening around the globe, too.

And yet transitions are hard, no matter if they’re chosen or not. But it can be easier — and I’ll outline some ways here.

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Rethinking Your Career Means More Than What You Do

At first, the most obvious thing to consider when you rethink your career is what you do. (You can find some lists of good HSP career ideas here and more ideas for HSPs here.) Just remember that job lists like these are not “answers” or the only thing to explore at this point, even though they can be good for part of your career exploration.

Of course, changing to a new field that is a good fit can make a huge difference, but what you do isn’t the only thing to think about when you are rethinking your career.

I’ve helped lots of HSPs rethink their career and make changes that worked with their strengths and interests and life situation. I encourage them, and you, to think about these four things, too.

4 Things HSPs Should Consider When Rethinking Their Career

1. Work environment and structure matter.

Work environment makes a huge difference. (For instance, HSPs are quite affected by physical environments.) And it’s more than the physical aspects.

You might have work you love, but struggle with the environmental psychology of the place: loud environment, the people you have to deal with, or the amount of people time. (After all, HSPs need alone time to decompress.)

Based on my own work experience and what my highly sensitive clients have discovered, I’ve found some common features that help HSPs thrive in their work environments. These include:

Time and space to work alone.
Being able to organize your own time.
The ability to single-task.
Time to think deeply and have enough quiet time to think.
Clear and logical systems.
Time in nature or views of nature.
An empathetic work culture that values authenticity, kindness, respect, and your sensitivity to others’ needs.
A place where you can prioritize quality of life.

On the other hand, some work environments can be particularly draining. I would avoid:

Salesy energy or jobs that require a lot of people time.
Environments where you don’t have much control over your time.
Loud and highly stimulating environments.
Poorly organized meetings or systems.
Windowless work areas.
Cutthroat, unkind work cultures, or cultures that are gossipy or judgmental.

But what can you do about that? Too many people haven’t even considered what would be the best work environment for them because they have assumed it’s impossible.

So start here: Let yourself imagine your ideal work environment, even if you’re sure it’s impossible. What would it be like? Make a wish list.

I find that when I create a wish list (even if it seems far-fetched), it becomes much easier to see more possibilities, and to ask for what I want. Until you know more of what you want, it’s going to be very hard to find it or ask for it.

2. Make work more enjoyable… without leaving your job.

One time, I had a highly sensitive client who was feeling overstimulated and drained at work. She was utterly convinced her boss wouldn’t let her have a different office setup, different hours, and a few changes in her responsibilities.

After she got more clear on what she actually wanted to change, she was amazed that her boss was ready to say yes to most of what she wanted. (These boundary-setting tips for HSPs are useful if you want help to try something similar.)

She even found that it made such a difference in her happiness that she decided to stay in the job that she was once sure she had to leave. Plus, she gained the extra energy she needed for her creative side gig. (I ran into her recently and she looked so happy.)

I’ve seen that same story happen many more times.

Changing careers — or just changing workplaces — can be daunting. As an alternative (or at least in the meantime), you might be able to make things more tolerable, and maybe more enjoyable, in the job you have.

Making a few changes might actually make you like your work life better than you thought — or it may make things feel better while you explore other options. You’ll need that extra energy for working toward something new.

From your wish list of what you want in a work environment, what could be possible in the current workplace?

Could you work from home sometimes?
Could you build in some bigger blocks without people time?
Are there meetings you don’t have to go to?
Could you use the conference room sometimes (alone) to escape cubicle clatter?
Could you switch to a different team?
Could you finally tell that chatty coworker to give you some quiet?
Could you create a mental HSP sanctuary to mitigate stimulating environments?

Another approach to making work feel better is to go through a typical day or week. What energizes you in your day? What makes you feel drained?

All of this can help you figure out what you really want (or don’t) in your career, but it can also give hints about changes that could make things more manageable in the meantime.

If you’re unsure whether or not you’re on the right path, or if this job could be doable for now, this might help you know: How to sense when it’s the right career path or not.

3. Your next step doesn’t have to be forever.

It is daunting to think about how to move toward something new — after all, HSPs don’t like change. Or maybe you’re even considering creating your own self-employment venture. That transition can feel like a job in and of itself and can be draining at times. Gosh, it’s humbling. I’ve been there a few times.

Sometimes you need to step away from a draining situation to figure out what would be a better fit, whether that is a new job or starting your own business. Yes, self-employment is a viable option for HSPs — I know from experience and from all the other self-employed HSPs I know. One way to do that is what I call a “bridge job.”

You could look for a bridge job that uses some of your strengths and draws on your values, but that doesn’t rely on skills that drain you. A bridge job that allows you to meet people, or learn more about a field of interest, is a plus. I used consulting as a bridge, but that isn’t the only way.

You may realize your bridge job is a good fit, even if you go into it thinking of it as a short-term solution. An HSP-aware career coach can help you discover bridge job options, as well as longer-term solutions.

4. You can get help figuring it all out — at any age or stage.

Ever feel like you should know what you want to do already? Or like you’ve put so much into what you’re doing that you should stick with it?

You’d be surprised how many people think they should know what they want but don’t, or think something is wrong with them because they don’t know. That’s normal, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you feel that way, too.

You can find clarity, whether you are starting your career, approaching retirement, or anywhere in between. It’s never too late.

Working with an HSP career coach is a great way to get clarity on your highly sensitive superpowers (like compassion and reading body language), your other talents, your values, what energizes you, and what drains you. All of this can help you find the best use of you (as you are) and discover a career path where you find meaning and a sense of calm and balance. It made a big difference for me.

It’s so satisfying to find a career and work environment you love — and I always like to remind people that it is possible.

If your work is too draining, my Career Clarity Course, and other career support options for HSPs, can help you find work that allows you to thrive, even if it seems impossible right now.

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Is Working from Home Better or Worse for Sensitive People?

Andre Sólo — Wed, 02 Aug 2023 11:00:00 +0000

Does working from home offer peace and focus — or a whole new host of problems?

Working from home is all the rage these days. Or maybe it isn’t. But it’s more doable, for more workers, than ever before — and, increasingly, people whose employers won’t allow them to work from home are rebelling.

But what about sensitive people?

Sensitive people make up about 30 percent of the population — and the workforce — and there’s evidence to suggest they are some of the most valuable employees. Yet, as I write in my book Sensitive, co-authored with Jenn Graneman, they are also among the most stressed. Which raises the question: is working from home the solution for overstimulated highly sensitive people (HSPs)?

I’ve been surprised how often I get asked this since the book came out. (Previously, I got asked about introverts and remote work.) It makes sense, though: sensitive people are at their best in calm environments, so remote work should be ideal for them, right? But my answer is always the same: it depends on the person.

For starters, working from home can be better for anyone, sensitive or not, for lots of reasons: maybe it allows you to balance work and childcare. Maybe it cuts down on an annoying commute. Maybe it means you can move farther from a big city (if that’s your preference), and thus have a lower cost of living. Anyone can enjoy these benefits, whether they’re sensitive or not.

Second, working from home comes with its own share of challenges — some of which come as a surprise to first-timers. Personally, I’ve worked remotely/from home for over a decade, first as a freelancer and then as an author, and I’ve developed a system that works for me; but even I have days when I wish I could just get get out of the house and have dumb chit-chat with a real, live coworker. (Yes, even as a highly sensitive person and and introvert.)

On the balance, though, I — like millions of other people — strongly prefer working from home. The flexibility and peace really is worth it for those who can do it. (Let’s remember that not all jobs offer this, and we’re privileged to even have the option.) And I do think that highly sensitive people, who are especially responsive to their physical work environment, tend to come out ahead by working remotely. In fact, I think it can supercharge us to be some of the strongest performers on the team. But you have to know how to do it right.

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How Working from Home Supercharges Sensitive People

A lot of ink has been spilled about the benefits of remote work, and for highly sensitive people — the 30 percent of the population who are wired to respond more strongly to the world around them — the most obvious benefit is reducing overstimulation. Sensitive people get overstimulated easily, and few places are as overstimulating as the modern workplace, so that’s the reason to work from home, right?

Not quite. I’d argue that sensitive people need a mindset shift about remote work. The main benefit is not eliminating a negative (overstimulation). It’s building a positive: the sensitive “Boost Effect.”

My co-author and I write about the Boost Effect in Sensitive. The Boost Effect means that sensitive people get more benefit out of the same things that boost anyone — like having a mentor, or going to therapy. The effect is not small: in studies, sensitive people are more likely to recover from depression or even save their marriage if given the right resources, whereas the same resources have very little effect on less-sensitive people.

The Boost Effect definitely applies at work. Remember: even without a boost, sensitive people are often the highest performers on their teams, despite also being the most stressed-out. But the science around the Boost Effect suggests that if you give sensitive people a conducive environment, not only will the stress go down, but the work performance will skyrocket. Sensitive people — with the right environment — can be absolute rock stars.

In my opinion, that’s the value of remote work for many HSPs. Yes, it will help reduce overstimulation, and hopefully that’ll knock out a lot of work stress. But that’s just the first stage of a multi-stage rocket. The second stage is creating a home work environment that truly lifts you up, and the final stage — the one that gets you into orbit — is finally being able to lean into your sensitive strengths and rise to the top.

That’s not every sensitive person’s goal, but that’s the potential you have as an HSP. And achieving it means taking on the challenges of remote work, not just the benefits.

The Surprising Challenges of Working from Home

Although an improvement for many workers, working from home is not a cure-all. Here are some of the key challenged it carries:

You’ll suddenly need more self-discipline. There’s a sort of “freakout” many people go through when they start working from home for the first time. It seems like a dream at first, but suddenly they find themselves procrastinating, lost, or just struggling to focus. We’ll tackle ways to handle that below, but bear it in mind when deciding to work from home — if you’re bad at self-discipline already, a flex schedule with just a couple days a week at home may be the best place to start.
You’re going to get to know your dog, kids, or partner better than you ever wanted to. Unless you live alone, chances are you’re going to have at least one human, small human, or animal in your space while you’re trying to work. They will all want your attention. They may not say it, they may promise to leave you alone, but one some level they’re going to want it. Kids are your biggest threat on this front — “Mommy needs to work” means nothing to young children, and older children will be suspiciously quiet long enough that you start to look for them. Your dog, however, will be absolutely convinced you’ve stayed home exclusively to play with them, while your partner may be more subtle. Set boundaries around your work time and, with kids, understand that work simply won’t be as productive unless they’re old enough to do their own thing.
It can be lonely. The flip side of being interrupted is the loneliness if you are actually left alone. Remember that many highly sensitive people are extroverts — but believe it or not, this goes for introverts, too. We often take for granted how much benefit we get out of small interactions at work or just the simple presence of changing, varied stimulation. Left to yourself at home all day, you may find that — introvert or not — you really, really want to get out of the house at 5 p.m. and talk to someone.
Not all stress is eliminated equally. This is maybe the biggest thing to remember about going remote as a highly sensitive person. Yes, it will eliminate overstimulation that comes from open offices, loud or obnoxious coworkers, commutes, and depressing cube-farms. But if your stress comes from a toxic boss, an excessive workload, or simply not liking the career you’re in, that won’t change. There are ways you can use remote work to help address those things (you might have more free time, sans commute, to apply for new jobs), but you should be realistic in your expectations.

How to Make Working From Home Work for Sensitive People

1. Set a schedule for yourself. Yes, for real.

I often tell people, “I’m self-employed, but my boss is a jerk.” What I mean is that I have to be more disciplined with myself now than I ever was working in an office — there is no one else to hold me accountable. So, despite being perhaps the most disorganized person you will ever meet, I set myself a schedule that I have to follow most days. This may sound like a bummer (isn’t flexibility the whole point of working from home?) but you end up having even more flexibility when you’re getting things done in a timely manner than when half the day is gone and you suddenly realize the only thing you did was dishes.

A good schedule will look different for different people, and some will prefer stricter versus more loosey-goosey. But, in general, I recommend at least the following:

Reserve certain times of day for certain activities. For example, perhaps you use 8 a.m. – 9:30 a.m. to do focused project work, and check email every day at 9:30 a.m. Perhaps you do all your client calls in mid-afternoon when you know most people are around. Choose blocks for recurring activities and stick to them.
Set timers. Don’t trust yourself to notice it’s time to switch projects, at least not at first. Set alarms on your phone or use a timer on your desk. (I like to have my alarm go off five minutes before I need to switch tasks, so I have some warning.)
Use short blocks, not long blocks — and include breaks. Some people swear by the pomodoro method of 25-minute work stretches, but my mind doesn’t work that way, and I’m not convinced that that much task-switching is good for productivity (with some exceptions). Instead, I think 45 minutes to an hour is a good block of focused work time. Some people might go longer, but anything over 90 minutes is likely to become stagnant. Start out with blocks that fill an hour at most, and always schedule at least a 5 minute break between your blocks.
Never communicate “on the side.” Don’t cheat on your current task by fooling around with email or Slack on the side. Unless absolutely required by your job, eschew constant communication, turn off notifications, and corral workplace communication to scheduled blocks in your day. Nothing shatters HSP calm more than constant, urgent, “Oh, someone is waiting on me, I feel bad” style interruptions.
Accept that meetings will mess everything up. Unless you are in the absolute most progressive workplace or have the very bestest of bosses, your boss — and countless other people — will schedule meetings and calls willy-nilly all throughout your work week. Do learn to communicate your availability and say no to meetings where possible, but in general, the best thing you can do for your mental health is to accept it and adjust your schedule around it.

2. Don’t get rid of your morning routine

Many HSPs benefit from a morning routine — one that allows them to start the day with minimal overstimulation and a reserve of inner calm. Yet, when you start remote work, it’s easy for that routine to disappear. After all, you no longer have a commute for your podcasts, or a need to dress up and do makeup/hair, and if you don’t need to shower, why not save your workout till later? But this is a trap. Remote work can be less physically overstimulating, but it’s going to come with just as many mental challenges, urgent deadlines, and stressful conversations. And they’re going to happen in your own home. Your sanctum. The place you go for peace. The last think you need is to jump into that directly out of bed, with no buffer between your work and your home life.

So maintain (or create) a morning routine that gives you that buffer. We often hear the advice that remote workers should have a specific spot dedicated only to work, so that the kitchen table or crafting room don’t become stressful “work zones.” As important as that physical boundary is, though the mental boundary is even more crucial, so take it out with something that happens just for you before your workday. For example:

Do your morning workout in a part of the house where you cannot see your work station, and stick to it every day.
Take one hour in the morning — after your coffee is made — to read a book, read non-work articles online, or listen to a podcast. Don’t fill this hour with mindless scrolling or addictive games; use it to spend time with activities or content that matter to you.
Maintain a morning meditation and/or journaling practice. My personal favorite is to do “morning pages,” as described by bestselling author Julia Cameron, followed by a brief mindfulness mediation and setting my purpose.
Have a routine that involves physically leaving the house. For example, go to the gym each morning, go for a long walk or jog, or make it a point to stop at your favorite coffee house after dropping the kids at daycare. Leaving the house creates a very physical boundary indicating when you’re having “you” time and when you’re working.

3. Give in to the jiggler.

HSPs tend to be risk-averse, and we generally want to follow the rules. But some rules are not only stupid, they’re actively harmful for your mental health. If your company requires some kind of remote productivity tracking software — the kind that alerts them any time your mouse is still too long — you should just do the right thing and get a mouse jiggler. You might feel like you’re cheating at first, but you’re saving yourself potentially years of feeling stressed in your own home. (And if you don’t get one, I guarantee you you’ll just be mindlessly jiggling your mouse by hand every ten minutes anyway.) Getting a mouse jiggler doesn’t mean skipping out on work, of course. It just means allowing yourself to focus when doing non-keyboard work, like reading or phone calls.

4. Communicate your successes and achievements.

Even a physical workplace, HSPs’ achievements often get overlooked — we don’t like to brag, we like boosting others, and we’re not always the first to speak up if someone else takes the credit. But, at least in an office environment, people see you regularly, notice when you;re working hard, and regularly chat about what everyone’s up to; your successes are naturally more visible to your manager and coworkers.

Once you’ve gone remote, however, there is no way for anyone to see your wins unless you speak up for yourself. You can do that at check-ins with your boss by starting with a list of your accomplishments and tasks completed. You can do it in team meetings by asking if anyone’s had any big wins. And you can do it in any context by leaning to read between the lines: anytime someone asks for a “status update” or “what you’re currently working on,” you can and should start by saying what you’ve completed and what great results, if any, you’ve gotten.

Reporting your successes this way is not bragging and it is not a bad thing. (If it feels like it is, read this and this — and remember you have tremendous worth.) It’s just corporate for, “Hey, I’m proud of this, and wanted to show you.”

And that’s not a bad deal. Especially if you’re sensitive.

Working from home is not the right choice for everybody, and certainly not just because you’re an HSP. But, if you have the option to do it — and if you structure your home work environment around your needs as an HSP — it can be one of the best decisions you ever make.

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