Take me, for example. I’m a highly sensitive person (HSP), which means I respond much more strongly to everything around me: sounds, touches, subtle changes and, of course, people and emotions. That can make me feel “different,” to say the least, and I crave deep connection and the comfort of other people. But like most most HSPs — whether they are introverts or extroverts — I also need alone time to avoid overstimulation and maintain my health. All of this can work together to create a vicious cycle of loneliness — and, for the longest time, I couldn’t get free of it.

And that’s serious. Right now, rates of loneliness are at an all-time high, and because humans are social creatures, loneliness can be debilitating. Research shows that it can cause health issues, stress, anxiety, depression, or even dangerous behavior. And, when you’re sensitive by nature, your personality itself can shape your loneliness, causing it to take on a more insistent form.

Here’s a look at why HSPs might struggle with loneliness, and what we can do to break the cycle. 

Why Being Sensitive Can Feel So Lonely

Highly sensitive people are wired differently, not only at the level of the brain and nervous system, but also in terms of our social and emotional needs. We crave deep, meaningful connections with other people, but it’s not always easy for us to get them. Why? A few reasons…

Join the HSP revolution. One email, every Friday. Posts that heal, transform, and make you feel understood. Subscribe here.

Our need for solitude can become our default state. 

When you’re designed to process everything in your surroundings, you are more easily stimulated and stressed out — even by regular things other people seem to have no trouble with. And one of the best cures (or preventatives) for overstimulation is, well, simply spending some time alone. While necessary for our mental health, solitude can sometimes feel isolating for both extroverted HSPs and, perhaps surprisingly, even for introverts — especially since we need to be alone so much. 

Don’t get me wrong: I thrive off the freedom that solitude provides. However, when taking alone time turns from self-care to a default habit, we lose opportunities to create intimacy. It’s important to honor our psychological needs, but it’s also important to remember that we’re not meant to exist alone.

We hold other people’s emotions — and it can feel like we’re carrying the weight of the world. 

For most people, loneliness means an absence of something. But for HSPs, loneliness can sometimes mean the opposite. For us, loneliness can feel like an overabundance of emotion, of feeling too much in contrast to others around us who don’t share in that fullness.

And HSPs are easily influenced by other people’s emotions. Our empathy and sensing switches are always turned on, and we soak in every obvious and subtle detail. Holding and feeling deeply so many emotions can easily turn into an overwhelming, lonely task when it feels like we’re the only one having this experience. The loneliness intensifies when we don’t have an outlet to release these feelings or we get shamed for being too sensitive. 

We feel like outsiders in an “insensitive” world. 

Since at least 20 percent of the population tests as highly sensitive, HSPs are not rare — but we feel rare. In general, society still values toughness and practicality over sensitivity in many social environments, from politics to business to education. In fact, one of the earliest major studies on high sensitivity found that HSPs are very conscious of being different in terms of their needs, their priorities, and the way they arrange their lives compared to others around them. 

In other words: When you experience the world through a more sensitive filter, the validity of your experience is often sidelined by people who don’t understand your sensitivity. We HSPs are more easily overstimulated, and not everyone is willing to hold space for our sensitive feelings. The natural conclusion many HSPs reach is that we’re better off alone than misunderstood, so we withdraw. 

This is a tragedy, because perhaps the single biggest thing that drives most HSPs is a need for meaningful connection. One of the main reasons that HSPs might feel lonely is that their interactions and relationships are lacking substance — and our constant sense of being an “outsider” only makes this worse.

Unless we can stop withdrawing and get the meaningful interactions we crave. And I believe there are ways HSPs can do that without getting overwhelmed. 

You don’t need to isolate yourself because you think you’re too needy, too different, too ‘much’ for the people who don’t get you. 

4 Ways to Break the Cycle of Loneliness — Without Getting Overstimulated

1. Join an online community.

For those who may not possess a large network of friends, have a difficult home life, or struggle with social anxiety, joining an online community can be a comfortable way to engage in meaningful conversations. There are many Facebook groups (including our own refuge for HSPs) and online support groups that can provide a sense of community. It doesn’t have to be an HSP group; you can find great connections based on similar interests, career pursuits, or even shared traumas. 

2. Team up with other HSPs.

Soothing yourself and “coming down” from overstimulation doesn’t have to happen alone. Sometimes, it can be nice to join up with a fellow HSP, or a close friend/family member you’re comfortable being around. This way, you can get your fill of human connection without worrying about people misjudging your needs. Plus, it helps to have someone hold you accountable for any isolating or negative behaviors you may gravitate toward — and other HSPs understand these behaviors better than anyone else. 

3. Sign up for a class.

Signing up for a writing, cooking, art, or dance class makes it easier to find friends with similar interests. Classes a great option for people with social anxiety because they’re less overwhelming than your typical social function. They have a definite start and end time, and everyone will mostly be focused on learning and doing the activity, which leaves less room for something HSPs hate: shallow small talk.

4. Start a conversation, and play the role of listener.

This one might take some more confidence, but many HSPs have great listening and observational skills. Take advantage of them and ask your coworker about their scrapbooking hobby he mentioned once. Or start a conversation about the new photo of her camping trip you saw on her desk. In a work setting, this can occasionally turn shallow relationships into deeper friendships. And, in many group settings, it can get someone talking about much deeper topics — the kind you find more interesting than the weather. 

HSP, You’re Not Too Much

It can be easy to let your self-perception become skewed by your needs or feelings when they sometimes seem so demanding. Your unique quirks and needs may require you to spend more time on your own… and that’s okay. You should take care of yourself in the ways that feel right. But remember:

You do not need to isolate yourself because you think you’re too needy, too different, too much for the people who don’t understand you. 

There are people out there like you, and people who want to understand you. Don’t let an insensitive society’s view of you — or more importantly, YOUR OWN view of yourself — condemn you to a life of loneliness. 

You might like:

• The Science Behind Why Highly Sensitive People Need Alone Time
• 14 Things Highly Sensitive People Absolutely Need to Be Happy
• Why Do Highly Sensitive People Absorb Other People’s Emotions?

The post Why Highly Sensitive People Feel Lonely appeared first on Sensitive Refuge.

My family didn’t understand why things affected me so deeply: I cried a lot, refused to eat certain foods, and was easily overwhelmed by loud noises and strong smells. I was very emotional and I broke down in tears when receiving discipline. As a teenager, I spent most days in my room alone with my books.

My personality became a point of frustration because my family chalked it up to bad behavior — I was “moody” or “acting out.” Unfortunately for me, that negative perspective on my highly sensitive nature became the way I viewed myself.

As a highly sensitive person in an often not-sensitive world, I don’t think I’m the only one who grew up this way. Here’s what HSPs need from their loved ones — and what I wish my family knew.

What HSPs Need From Their Family

There was no doubt that my family loved and cared about me. But their method of showing that love clashed with my HSP needs. They expressed it the only way they knew: by providing for my immediate, tangible needs. In other words, I was always given nutritious food and new clothes, and got Christmas and birthday presents — privileges I understand not everyone gets and that I am grateful for. But, as a highly sensitive person, what I truly craved was deep emotional connections and validation for my HSP qualities. I knew I was “different,” and I wanted someone to say that was okay.

Join the HSP revolution. One email, every Friday. Posts that heal, transform, and make you feel understood. Subscribe here.

I don’t think this is unique to my family. For many people, emotional needs are a lot trickier to deal with than physical needs. It’s easy to see what a child needs to succeed at a class project, but it’s not easy to see what feelings they have or what feelings they need in order to feel supported.

This is especially true when parents are not HSPs themselves. They know that any kid might be sad after losing a soccer game or happy when they make a new friend. But why does their sensitive child get upset at the texture of their jeans, and thrilled to have a collection of pretty pebbles they found? For parents who don’t perceive subtle details the same way or paint vast pictures in their head, these emotions can seem inscrutable.

The truth is that society doesn’t train us to hold space for emotions, much less care for a sensitive child with big and often surprising feelings.

And that’s in a healthy environment. When an HSP’s family is emotionally abusive or neglectful, they learn to bottle up their feelings because they learn that voicing their needs will be punished or rejected. In that environment, showing vulnerability in any way becomes unsafe, and the HSP internalizes the idea that their needs are unimportant. That’s toxic for anyone, but especially for HSPs who experience life in extreme highs and lows (especially in childhood). We need healthy communication and emotional expression in order to learn proper self-care techniques.

Which is why it makes such a profound difference when an HSP feels accepted and understood by those around them.

7 Things I Wish My Family Knew About Me as an HSP

1. I have a frequent need for solitude.

HSPs are deep, imaginative thinkers, because our very nervous systems are wired differently. Our minds involuntarily work overtime to meticulously process sensory input and other information. Without even thinking about it, we continuously work to connect different patterns, ideas, and memories to answer our big “life questions.” Frankly, all that cognitive work can leave us mentally fatigued.

In order to recharge our mental and emotional batteries, we need downtime away from social interaction because that, too, takes a lot of energy. I’ve often had family members complain that I neglected spending time with them in favor of hanging out in my room or going out by myself. I’d focus on solitary activities like reading, writing, and long walks — all the while feeling guilt balloon in my stomach as if I was doing something nefarious. But HSPs need this downtime and, if you love them, you should give it to them.

2. I hate busy schedules.

As an HSP, I can be meticulously detail-oriented or big picture-oriented, but I can’t do either one on a tight deadline. Being rushed causes a lot of anxiety because my mind starts working in overdrive trying to process, and HSPs process deeply. Many parents pressure their kids to succeed by overachieving, but having my mind engaged constantly with the added pressure to perform well only expedites my route to burnout. In our culture, it may appear like I’m lazy and underachieving, but truly, I’m just working at my own pace to take care of my mental health.

3. I didn’t respond well to strict discipline.

Growing up under a system of strict discipline only taught me to internalize feelings of shame and inadequacy. Those feelings then contributed to my low self-esteem as an adult. Being told off, shouted at, and harshly criticized can wreak havoc on anybody’s self-esteem, but HSPs especially take it hard. We may interpret criticism personally even if we rationally know it’s not meant to be that way. And we hate raised voices — the volume can cause our anxiety to skyrocket, because our nervous system interprets intensity as danger.

4. I absorb your emotions.

HSPs tend to absorb the emotions of the people they’re directly surrounded by, and we innately know when there is or isn’t harmony in any given environment. If there is constant conflict and tension at home, it can be emotionally draining to the point of causing the HSP to shut down and disengage entirely. Even if we’re not directly involved in the conflict, it’ll feel like we’re emotionally invested.

(HSPs: It is possible to learn to stop absorbing emotions when you need to.)

5. Sometimes I crave approval and validation for my big feelings.

When certain feelings arise that cause me to cry or withdraw, it’s not a bid for attention. It’s just the way my emotions naturally manifest. On top of feeling deeply, HSPs also tend to be an emotional sponge for the people around them, and it’s sometimes hard to tell which emotions are authentically mine. When I’m drained from processing so many feelings, getting emotional support means the world. Things like asking if I’m feeling okay, giving me space to talk out my feelings or calm down, and hugs are simple ways to show me that you accept and care about my “peculiar” HSP needs.

When I have emotional support, I feel safe in all these overwhelming, confusing feelings. When I feel like I don’t, I just feel lost, scared, and alone.

6. I have a “rainforest mind.”

It was difficult as an HSP child to find common ground with my family when I was interested in deep, complex life concepts and had a very active imagination. I wanted to tell my family about the fantastical daydreams and metaphysical questions I had, the different ideas I had about a new painting, or a brilliant new novel I’d read… but to my growing disappointment, it simply felt like no one cared. Deep, intense conversations were reserved for serious but practical crises like planning finances for college. In this family dynamic, I often felt lonely and outside of the “regular” world, which caused me to disengage more and more.

7. I hate messes.

…and it’s not just a question of personal living habits or hygiene. The real reason is that for HSPs, a messy and dirty home can be like the physical manifestation of our internal anxiety. If our external world is messy, our inner world can be reflected in the same way. This can be true of non-HSPs too, but because HSPs’ nervous systems are especially adept at picking up dissonance in an environment, we need peace in our safe space at home. It’s where we recover from engaging in the outside world.

HSPs, your idiosyncrasies and low tolerance for a conventional life may make you different, and your deep sensitivity may even be scary to some. But remember: That doesn’t mean you are any less than the amazing human being that you are.

You Might Like:

• Is Your Child Highly Sensitive? Here’s How to Tell
• What Happens When an HSP Grows Up with Emotional Neglect?
• 13 Signs You Might Be an Empath

The post 7 Things I Wish My Family Knew About Me as a Highly Sensitive Person appeared first on Sensitive Refuge.

I love you but I just can’t go out tonight.

I love and appreciate you, truly. I know it may seem like I don’t like spending time with you or value your friendship, given how often I turn down invitations to “do my own thing.” It hurts me that I may have to hurt you in order to take care of myself.

See, it’s not that I’m afraid of meeting new people. And it’s not that I secretly don’t like you or don’t like having fun. I like the fond memories we make together that get captured in Polaroids that I string along the walls of my room. I love and crave that joy in my life as much as anyone else.

But the truth is…

…I’m a highly sensitive person.

Highly sensitive people (HSPs) are the 20 percent of the population who process stimulation very deeply, from smells to sounds to emotions. There’s nothing wrong with being an HSP; according to Dr. Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person, this trait occurs naturally in over 100 different species. It comes with some incredible superpowers, such as strong intuition, heightened powers of perception, and increased empathy.

But all that deep processing means I also get overstimulated easily. It means I sometimes can’t handle the loud noises in the bar, the crowds of bodies stuffed together in one room, or the anxiety of having to sideline my sensitivity for the sake of social convention. It’s hard to act like I’m not bothered by all the stimulation — especially when other people don’t seem to experience what I do. Sometimes I feel like the only one who is completely overwhelmed by all the noise and activity.

And, when you invite me out in the evening — after a long day at work — I’m often already exhausted from processing my experiences and emotions from earlier in the day. I might be emotionally burned out from experiencing secondhand emotions from the people I saw today, emotions I had no business feeling. (We HSPs can be empaths, absorbing other people’s feelings as our own.) Yes, I’d love to spend time with you, but I’m emotionally, mentally, and physically drained.

I’m sorry, I just can’t go out tonight.

Love,

Your HSP friend

The Highly Sensitive Person’s Friendship Struggle

HSP, have you ever wanted to write a letter like that to your friends?

Guilt can be a common space holder in many friendships that HSPs have, especially if those friendships are with non-HSPs. Whenever I feel the need to turn down a friend’s invitation to go out on a Friday night, I find my mind automatically reciting some form of the aforementioned apology letter and later feeling intense waves of guilt at having to say no to them.

I even feel afraid I might lose friends if I continue to say no to all the invitations to go out to parties, bars, or whatever “fun” social outing they have planned. Sadly, I often have lost friends. People learned to not ask me if I wanted to go out because often the answer was no. Or just as likely, they didn’t feel like being continuously rejected, so they skipped the risk of asking me altogether. Honestly, I don’t blame them.

But it also sucks to feel isolated in this way.

Along with the isolation, there’s a sense of self-consciousness when establishing friendships. I never truly know how receptive a person will be to my highly sensitive proclivities — especially in social circumstances like group dinners after work at busy restaurants or bars where the overall mood isn’t primed for meaningful conversation.

For a long time, I was afraid of having people flat-out not understand my sensitivities to large groups, strong smells, and loud noises and dismiss me as “too sensitive” or “weird.” As a result, I wouldn’t reveal the real reason I couldn’t go out. In those cases, my rejections probably came off more harshly or emotionally removed than I would have liked. Often, no matter what story I used, my reason for staying in just felt like an excuse. Phrases like “Sorry, I have to work early tomorrow morning,” “No, I’m busy,” or even the ubiquitous one for students, “Sorry, I have homework” sounded like a weak get-out-of-jail excuse for attending an event I didn’t like.

What I Wish My Friends Knew About Me as an HSP

It’s hard to lose friends when there’s a misunderstanding about the reasons why I can’t go out. Here are three things I wish I could say to past and present friends about why I keep turning down their invitations.

1. Going out is not a matter of desire, but ability.

I want to go out with you. Seriously. I crave that sense of belonging and connection with you. I want to create fun, spontaneous, crazy memories with you. I just literally can’t bear to be bombarded with external stimuli like that for hours and not feel drained for days after. I want to go out and have fun with you, but doing so would mean incapacitating my senses and brain function and depleting my energy.

2. On the other hand, it’s likely I don’t have the mental energy prepared to endure the overstimulation.

I already spend most of my emotional and mental reserves just making it through my responsibilities during the day, and I need quiet downtime to recharge. Usually, this looks like staying home or in another safe space to let my senses settle (a.k.a. “doing my own thing”). Many common social outings include fast conversation and different things vying for attention all at once, especially if you’re in loud environments like dance clubs and restaurants — and HSPs wilt in those settings. Personally, it’s not that I don’t enjoy spending time there once in a while. It’s that I usually prefer to spend time doing leisurely activities and being in calmer environments if I want to feel happy and truly enjoy myself.

3. I feel guilty for needing to take so much time for myself just to be able to function.

I know it may appear selfish, because it means less time for other people. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t highly sensitive to things you’re not sensitive to, so that I could enjoy a regular night out with my friends like so many other people do. I know I’m missing out on a lot of bonding opportunities, but taking care of myself and my mental well-being is my top priority. I wish you could understand that it is not a reflection on you.

Fighting the Fear of Missing Out

Another thing HSPs may find themselves dealing with is FOMO (fear of missing out) when declining a social invitation. When I was a university student, self-care often meant staying in my dorm room on a Friday night while it seemed like every other student was out with their friends making crazy memories for their “responsible” adult selves to wistfully smile about. Because I wasn’t present for most of the crazy parties or adventures out on the town at 1 a.m., I found myself excluded from many of the conversations that would take place during Sunday brunch or Monday morning in class.

Join the HSP revolution. One email, every Friday. Posts that heal, transform, and make you feel understood. Subscribe here.

As I got older, I found friends who were much more supportive and understanding of my boundaries. Saying the words, “I’m sorry, but I just can’t go out tonight” no longer comes with the guilt of taking time for myself or the urge to go out just to make others happy. It now comes with the assurance that my friends understand my boundaries — and the confidence that I’m doing what’s right for me.

These supportive friends are the ones an HSP really needs. Good friends will understand your needs and encourage you to do what’s best for your well-being — even if it means skipping the party.

For HSPs, the feeling of missing out might sometimes be inevitable. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take the time and space you need to care for yourself. Yes, your needs as an HSP require a different, slower kind of attention, but learning to honor them is to love yourself.

Find friends who can and want to honor your needs in the same way — and you’ll find yourself mentally composing fewer apology letters.

You might like:

• The Sensitive Person’s Guide to Saying No
• When You’re Sensitive to Smells, You Really Do Get ‘Smangry’
• Why Do HSPs Hate Busy Schedules and Feeling Rushed?

We participate in the Amazon affiliate program.

The post Dear Friends, I Love You, But I Just Can’t Go Out Tonight. Sincerely, an HSP appeared first on Sensitive Refuge.

People consistently told me things like:

Don’t take it so seriously.

Wow, you’re really sensitive.

You’re not tough enough.

What’s wrong with you?

Being bombarded with dismissive comments drove me to a deep sense of isolation. I really did start to believe there was something wrong with me, that I was an inconvenience, that I was inadequate in some ways and “too much” in others. That feeling was reinforced each time I entered a new life period, from high school to university to dating.

You’d think this would turn me off from the people who made me feel this way, but paradoxically, in some ways it made me need them more — it made me codependent. I needed their approval.

Being treated as an inconvenience made me feel not just depressed but also unworthy in a crucial, human way. It made me believe that I didn’t deserve love. So I clung to the loved ones I had, no matter how toxic they were.

Codependency Means Dumpster Diving For Love

If you’ve never seen codependent behavior in action, it’s not pretty. My low self-esteem led to a pattern of poor boundaries in my relationships (and friendships, too). I couldn’t learn to love myself, so I looked for someone else to prove to me I was worthy of love. Obviously, it set a very low bar where anyone who gave me affirmation became a crucial part of my life, even if they treated me terribly. I would seek out and accept love in whatever form it was offered.

Let me tell you, it was not the type of healthy love and understanding that a person craves. In my desperate bids for affirmation, I ignored red flags for abusive or neglectful behavior. I let myself stay in a position of no power and let the people I dated get away with selfish, even cruel, behavior — simply because I was terrified of losing their “love.” And I didn’t set any emotional boundaries because I had so much trouble saying no. It left me with no defenses against this behavior.

Even when I finally became aware of the emotional abuse or neglect, I found it hard to leave. Not only because of my own fear of being unloved, but because of the highly sensitive person’s greatest strength: empathy. I was able to understand my partner’s point of view, and I started justifying their bad behaviors.

My internal reel would sound something like this:

• “Of course I was the wrong one in all our conflicts; it was my fault for being too sensitive.”
• “I was being too picky, so of course I seem high-maintenance.”
• “It’s okay if they’re taking their anger out on me, because I should be tough enough to put up with it and be there for them.”

All those old dismissive comments I had internalized were now weapons that I used against myself.

Healthy Boundaries Start With Self-Validation

Not all HSPs will deal with codependency (thankfully), but because HSPs are already so focused on others, it’s crucial for us to set boundaries in our relationships. And there are ways to learn to set those boundaries. But it’s also important to know where healthy boundaries come from: a sense of self-worth.

When I was “dumpster diving,” I didn’t really understand the way my insecurity translated into unconsciously seeking out codependent partners — partners who triggered and therefore validated those same insecurities. For a long time, I felt victimized by my partners. (And family. And peers.) But truly, the source was the negative internal dialogue I kept alive inside me.

Only now that I’ve recovered a sense of self-confidence can I see that I was looking for love from people who would further enforce my own negative self-image. I definitely didn’t deserve the emotional abuse and neglect I suffered in my relationships, but my lack of self-worth contributed to the codependent nature of them.

Building that confidence is a long, slow process, and it’s easy to backslide. Which means that, as you learn to love yourself, you need to know how to recognize the people who will be unhealthy for you — the very people you will unknowingly be drawn to.

3 Ways to Spot (and Avoid) a Toxic Partner

Codependent relationships distort your view of what healthy behavior from a partner looks like. Here are three of the biggest signs that a partner is toxic for you as a highly sensitive person:

1. They shame you for your sensitivity.

If someone responds to your emotional reactions with words like, “You’re too sensitive,” or “You should be tougher,” take a step back. It’s a red flag.

I received a lot of criticism from men I’ve dated about my sensitivity. It always made me feel judged, and that’s never a good feeling for someone you’re intimate with. If the person you’re dating is put off by your ability to feel emotions deeply, it’s more a sign of their own inability to empathize — or, at best, a sign that you’re not compatible. Be especially careful of people who use your sensitivity to justify their own bad behavior or selfishness!

What a good partner does: A good partner doesn’t have to necessarily understand your sensitivity out of the gate. But they should be open to understanding it, and when you react strongly, they’ll respect it.

2. They ignore your limits about stimulation.

Highly sensitive people process stimuli (like lights, sounds, smells, and crowded spaces) much more deeply than other people do. This can be a superpower, but it also drains our mental energy rapidly in certain environments. Every HSP has their own unique limits on how much they can handle and what kind of stimuli overwhelm them the most.

Join the HSP revolution. One email, every Friday. Posts that heal, transform, and make you feel understood. Subscribe here.

If a person dismisses those personal boundaries (“C’mon, it’s not that loud! Let’s stay…”)  it shows that they fundamentally don’t understand how your high sensitivity works — or, worse, that your needs just aren’t that important to them. Your needs may seem a little different or even extreme, but they are still valid.

What a good partner does: A good partner for an HSP may go through a learning curve (“Babe, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the restaurant would be draining for you. We’ll find a quieter place next time…”) but, in general, they care about not seeing you get overstimulated. They should take you seriously about your own personal limits — or, if they’re truly a keeper, even act as a “wingman” who looks out for your needs and speaks up for you before you need to say anything at all.

3. They use your compassion as a band-aid for their personal wounds.

No one should take advantage of your empathy and compassion. It’s your most precious trait, and part of what makes HSPs invaluable in the world. If a person seems to take, and take, and take of your emotional labor, they’re not healthy to be around. The same is true of a person who does something inappropriate and then looks to you to soothe their emotional wounds for the aftermath.

(It goes both ways: it’s not the HSP’s job to “fix” the people they’re dating. Nor should the HSP demand their partners “fix” any low self-esteem issues they may be having.)

What a good partner does: A good partner takes turns being the one who is caring, soothing, and supportive. They give as well as receive, emotionally speaking. Or, if they are the emotionally unexpressive type, they are comfortable and self-sufficient in who they are, and they provide the “strong silent” type of shoulder to lean on — with a gentle touch, not a constant critique.

HSPs, You Are Your Own First Love

It took me an uncomfortably honest analysis of myself to understand that I shouldn’t (and don’t have to) expect someone else to validate my traits as an HSP. There’s nothing wrong with me if I cry at every rom-com or if I can’t stand to be in hospitals or if I get overwhelmed at parties.

I don’t have to accept love from a person who can’t accept my sensitivity. I don’t have to dumpster dive for love just to feel some form of validation. And neither do you.

HSPs, it’s okay to love yourself. You are your own first love, and only you can give yourself the kind of validation you need.

You might like:

• A Therapist Explains the 6 Keys to Preventing Emotional Overwhelm
• Why HSPs Get Mentally and Emotionally ‘Flooded’
• How to Be Happy at Work as an HSP

The post Why Highly Sensitive People May Struggle With Codependency appeared first on Sensitive Refuge.