Emily Battmer, Author at Sensitive Refuge

5 Reminders for Any HSP Navigating a Layoff

Emily Battmer — Wed, 08 Oct 2025 06:01:00 +0000

Highly sensitive people tend to take things personally, especially being laid off. Here’s how to turn it around – and avoid crashing out.

I was laid off during a two-minute Zoom call.

As any highly sensitive person (HSP) knows, two minutes is barely enough time to rehearse your coffee order — much less to process such life-altering news. It took me the entirety of those two minutes, and then some, to even make sense of the words coming out of the COO’s mouth: We’re sorry, but we’ve had to do some restructuring, and your position is among those being affected.

Navigating a sudden job loss is tough for anyone, but as an HSP, I was especially rattled. With a brain wired to process information deeply and respond strongly to the world around me, I was immediately overstimulated — flustered, frozen, and unable to muster anything more than an absurd “thank you” and a ridiculous smile before the call abruptly ended.

It’s a simple fact: As HSPs, everything just affects us more. And there’s nothing like learning you’ve just lost your income, healthcare coverage, and other benefits — not to mention, in some cases, your very sense of self — to overstimulate an HSP.

Fortunately, I got through it — and you can, too. Here’s what I learned in the aftermath of my layoff, and five tips for other highly sensitive employees who find themselves in the same boat.

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5 Reminders for Any HSP Navigating a Layoff

1. It’s not personal (even though it seems like it).

This may have been the hardest thing for me to wrap my head around in the days immediately following my termination: It’s not personal. Even though the COO explained I was being laid off due to a “workforce reduction,” it was hard not to feel some personal sense of rejection.

As an HSP, I’ve always struggled with insecurity. In fact, many HSPs struggle with self-confidence issues, thanks to factors like higher rates of social anxiety and perfectionism, past rejections, and general feelings of “otherness” — a sense that we are different from our peers who don’t share our sensitivity. Feeling like I was somehow responsible for my layoff initially felt like another personal failing.

Of course, this wasn’t true. After the fact, I received kind messages from former coworkers, assuring me that I was talented, had done great work, and that they were sorry to see me go. My LinkedIn feed was flooded with posts from others at the company — many of whom had been there longer than I had and whose work I admired — who had also lost their jobs and were now looking for work. Clearly, I was not alone, and a workforce reduction was not a reflection of me or my work ethic.

The same is true for you. As an HSP, you are likely a creative, detail-oriented, careful thinker who values quality and takes pride in your work. In fact, your sensitivity gives you many advantages in the workplace that make you a stellar employee. Try to remind yourself of that, and don’t be afraid to reach out to trusted friends and people in your network if you need additional encouragement.

2. It’s okay to grieve your job loss — like anything else, it’s still a loss.

Losing a job is a real loss in so many ways. Not only are you losing your livelihood, which can create financial stress, but you may be losing your daily routine (which is important for us HSPs!), relationships with coworkers you’re used to seeing every day, and possibly the future you saw for yourself at your company. Because work can be so intertwined with our sense of identity, you may even feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself.

If you’re an introspective HSP who spends a lot of time reflecting on big, existential questions, like who you are as a person, these kinds of losses can hit especially hard. And if you’re anything like me, you may have a tendency toward stronger emotional reactions, like crying — something I found myself doing on and off in the days after I was laid off.

Personally, what hit me hardest about losing my job was the feeling that I was somehow being knocked back to “square one.” While I didn’t feel my identity was tied too closely with this particular job (I hadn’t been there that long, after all), I had never not had a job before, and I hadn’t realized how much I associated myself with being the “star employee.”

As HSPs, we tend to be wildly creative, deeply empathetic, thoughtful, and attuned to small details — all beautiful strengths possessed by many “high achievers.” But when you’re used to being successful in the workplace, the pain of a sudden job loss can feel that much sharper. And when you’re an HSP, your emotional response to that pain may be that much stronger.

The good news is that HSPs have an advantage when it comes to resilience; we are used to constantly adapting and regulating “big emotions.” We also tend to think and process stimuli deeply — which may be uncomfortable in the moment, but could also help us move forward with a stronger sense of closure in the end.

Research shows that job loss is often cited as one of the most stressful life events. As an HSP, you may feel that stress intensely… and that’s okay. Remember that it’s okay to grieve. It isn’t “weak” or silly to take some time to catch your breath after a sudden layoff. Be kind to yourself, and give yourself the time you need to make sense of this big life change.

Need to Calm Your Sensitive Nervous System?

HSPs often live with high levels of anxiety, sensory overload and stress — and negative emotions can overwhelm us. But what if you could finally feel calm instead?

That’s what you’ll find in this powerful online course by Julie Bjelland, one of the top HSP therapists in the world. You’ll learn to turn off the racing thoughts, end emotional flooding, eliminate sensory overload, and finally make space for your sensitive gifts to shine.

Stop feeling held back and start to feel confident you can handle anything. Check out this “HSP Toolbox” and start making a change today. Click here to learn more.

3. Find your own way of moving forward.

Conventional wisdom suggests that when you lose a job, your first step should be to make it known and “put yourself out there” — post about it on social media, sharing the news and letting anyone (and everyone) in your network know that you’re #readytowork.

But for me, this wasn’t the best path forward. I needed time to work through everything I was feeling and make sense of what I really wanted to do next. I was very fortunate to have a safety net of savings built up (thanks to my careful planning and drive for safety/stability as an HSP!). This gave me some wiggle room to take a step back, breathe, and think about what I wanted to do next before I jumped straight into networking.

In fact, I found myself feeling deeply unhappy scrolling through LinkedIn, seeing post after post from old classmates and coworkers boasting about their latest career achievements. I found the forced, unnatural interactions on the platform exhausting and eyeroll-inducing. As an introverted HSP, I craved true connection and authenticity, and this style of networking didn’t feel like that for me. So I did the unthinkable as a job searcher: I set my account to hibernate.

I accepted that that might mean it would take me longer to find a new job, and that not everyone would get it… But I was so much happier when I stopped scrolling and turned my attention inward, toward my own goals and what I really wanted out of life and my career.

Then, I found my own quiet way of networking and getting back out there, bit by bit. I reached out to old coworkers and asked them if they’d provide a reference for me. I connected with old friends over coffee and exchanged resume tips and job ideas. I considered a few out-of-the-box opportunities offered up by real-life connections. And I felt the world open up to me in a way that social media wouldn’t have allowed.

There is no rulebook for how to move forward after a job loss. Don’t be afraid to think outside-the-box and find what works for you.

4. Take this opportunity to find work that truly fits you.

Once I got past the initial shock of being laid off, made a budget, and started thinking about my transition plan, I actually felt relieved… and even a little excited for the opportunity to start fresh. As an HSP, I had always found my previous work to be incredibly draining. This was my chance to redefine myself and change direction, to rethink my career and do something completely different, if I wanted to.

I thought about the things I liked — and disliked — about my previous work. I thought about the work environment and schedule that would work best for my sensitivity. I thought about my long-term goals and dreams. By this, I don’t mean just the kind you devise for an employer interview when they ask you “where you see yourself in five years,” but the deep-in-my-soul, life’s-purpose kind of dreams. (After all, we HSPs thrive on finding our purpose!)

If you find yourself unemployed as an HSP, you actually have an incredible opportunity in front of you. This is your chance to seek out the type of work that truly aligns with your values, moves you toward your goals, and allows you to be yourself.

So take some time to think about what you truly want out of your work, and then use this as your opportunity to start building the type of career where you can thrive as an HSP. Your dream job is waiting!

5. Don’t worry — you’ve got this!

HSPs navigate the world with care and sensitivity, and while this may be a tough time, these qualities will help you get through it — and come out stronger than you thought you could be. While a job loss may be extra tough to navigate as a highly sensitive person, we also have some unique advantages when it comes to moving forward.

Take a deep breath and trust that you’re going to make smart, thoughtful decisions about where you go from here. Chances are, you are already in tune with your emotions and intuition. Listen to what they say, and let them guide you. They won’t steer you wrong. And, the more you focus on what brings you joy, the easier it will be to find a new job or career you love!

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How to Not Be Afraid of Your Feelings as an HSP

Emily Battmer — Wed, 19 Jul 2023 13:43:13 +0000

When you have BIG feelings, it’s tempting to run away from them. Here’s how to tame them instead.

It’s not always obvious that I am a highly sensitive person (HSP). I’m not the type to “wear my heart on my sleeve.” I’m notoriously difficult to get to know, and unless you’re a member of my immediate inner circle, I can sometimes be hard to read. When I feel a conversation starting to drift even slightly into deep, emotional or vulnerable territory, I am quick to respond with sarcasm or self-deprecating humor — anything to “lighten the mood” and redirect attention to safer, more comfortable topics.

But the truth is, these are carefully curated defense mechanisms I’ve developed — because actually, I’m afraid that if I let myself really feel my feelings, they’d swallow me whole.

HSPs feel things deeply. It’s a simple, scientific fact that emotions tend to hit hard for us; with brains wired for deeper sensory processing, our feelings tend to be amplified. Because of that, it can sometimes be overwhelming to try to manage those big feelings — which makes it tempting to avoid them altogether.

But I’ve started to realize that there are consequences to attempting to repress my emotional responses. It’s not healthy. And I think that, as HSPs, we need to feel our feelings in order to be our best, truest selves. To deny our feelings is to deny who we are.

If you struggle with this, here are five things you can try to face your fear, get back in touch with your feelings, and fully embrace yourself as an HSP — big, messy emotions and all.

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1. Check in with your feelings by writing them

Writing is an amazing way to check in with yourself and how you’re feeling, and it can be especially beneficial for HSPs who struggle to process emotions. By getting complex thoughts and feelings out of your head and onto paper, you can better organize and make sense of your feelings and reconnect with your emotional side.

If you’re not sure where to start, try grabbing an old notebook and pen and simply follow your stream of consciousness. Try not to judge or censor yourself as you write; just allow the words to flow. You can even start by simply writing about the events of your day (what you had for lunch, what you did at work, what you watched on TV) — and then try reflecting on how those things made you feel. As you review those events, your emotional stuck points will naturally come to the surface.

Many people find it helpful to do this practice first thing in the morning, on a daily basis — a practice known as morning pages. You’ll find that writing morning pages not only helps you meet and tame your emotions, it also gives you a lot of self-insight you can use to guide your day and your long-term goals. (It’s also particularly known for unblocking creativity.)

Keeping a journal can also allow you to keep a record of your emotions over time and start to notice patterns. By tracking your mental health over several weeks or months, you can learn more about yourself, the things that overwhelm you, and the things that bring you joy.

It might feel awkward at first, but once you build the habit, you’ll find yourself naturally reaching for your journal when you have something you need to process!

2. Practice (safely) confronting your feelings

The best way to face any fear is to slowly, methodically confront it. One highly effective way to do this is by talking about your feelings with a trusted friend or family member, perhaps over a cup of coffee. This can be a healing experience for HSPs, as we tend to crave deep connections with others. Allowing yourself to share your feelings and be vulnerable is key to achieving that type of emotional intimacy.

It can be nerve-wracking to open up to others about your true feelings, especially the difficult ones. But it’s okay to start small. The next time you make plans with a friend, try planning this out ahead: choose one thing in advance that you can share about yourself and your feelings. It could be a frustration you’re dealing with at work or a confession about a recent moment where you felt awkward or out of place. You could even try asking for advice dealing with a tricky situation.

But there are other ways to confront your feelings, too. Therapy is a great way to do this, and it can be especially helpful to HSPs. Some types of therapy are proven to be effective at helping people embrace their emotions: CBT is well-known for helping people face and manage their feelings, and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) was specifically developed for people with strong emotions. But even normal talk therapy with any good therapist will help. Through regularly scheduled sessions, you can practice opening up about your feelings in a safe space with the guidance of a trained professional.

Regardless of where you get them, interactions like these can help humanize you and deepen your relationships — and with repetition over time, you’ll find that they become less awkward and more natural.

3. Use physical movement to explore your emotions (without the overwhelm)

There’s a reason why physical activity is included in pretty much every list of mental health tips on the internet: it really does help improve mood, combat anxiety and depression, and boost mental health. But it also gets you out of your head and into your body — known as grounding — which helps you work through and manage big emotions.

That may explain why research shows that physical activity improves mindfulness and reduces emotional reactivity. This connection is so powerful that there is an entire school of therapy — somatic therapy — that uses physical sensation and grounding in the physical body to explore emotions and heal trauma. Our emotional wounds are stored in the body — in our pains, in our tics, in our posture and how we move — and can be healed there, too.

You can put this “heart-body connection” to use for yourself. Next time you find yourself avoiding complicated feelings, try lacing up your tennis shoes and going for a walk. As you’re moving, notice the feelings that come up — sometimes it’s easier to focus on physical sensations than emotional ones. For example, when I’m doing yoga, I often catch myself tensing my jaw or shoulders and realize that I’m carrying stress (often without realizing it). This allows me to examine why I’m stressed and dig deeper into those feelings.

While any exercise is good for mental health, mind-body practices like yoga or tai chi can be especially beneficial for grounding and mindfulness, and long-distance activities like jogging, walking, and cycling are especially powerful for letting the mind run to explore your emotions.

4. Finally start practicing mindfulness

Mindfulness can be a powerful tool, especially for HSPs. It has so many benefits, from calming a sensitive nervous system to helping us get more in touch with our feelings.

This could look like a traditional, structured meditation practice — but there are also several simple ways to practice mindfulness throughout the day, like:

Paying attention to scents, flavors, and sensations (like the feeling of petting your cat or feeling sunshine on your face)
Pausing to close your eyes and take a few deep breaths (or practicing breathing exercises)
Tuning into all five senses with a grounding exercise — try naming five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can feel, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste

Sometimes, just slowing down and taking a moment to turn inward can help you get in touch with yourself and your feelings in a way that you might not otherwise.

5. Find new forms of expression

Finally, look for creative outlets to help you tap into, channel and express your emotions. Activities like art projects, playing music and writing can be amazing for HSPs (who tend to be naturally creative anyway).

Don’t worry about whether or not you are “talented” in these areas; it’s not about producing something “great.” Don’t feel pressure to share your art with anyone, either. Even if it’s just for you, being creative can be incredibly rewarding — and help you get in touch with those emotions you might have been denying. By taking your big feelings and turning them into something tangible and creative, you can show yourself that it’s okay to let yourself sit with those feelings and experience them fully — and that doing so can have a beautiful outcome.

Processing strong emotions can be hard for us HSPs, but if you can learn to lean into those feelings and make the most of them, it can actually be an incredible strength. Our sensitivity can make us more emotionally intelligent, empathetic and self-aware — but only if we allow ourselves to experience it fully.

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Why Do So Many Highly Sensitive People Struggle with ‘Gifted Kid Syndrome’?

Emily Battmer — Mon, 26 Jun 2023 11:00:00 +0000

Gifted kid syndrome can have serious, lasting consequence — and it may actually be rooted in sensitivity.

Growing up, I had a pretty strong sense of who I was. Like many other highly sensitive people (HSPs), I was quiet, well-behaved, and performed well in school. From a young age, much of my sense of identity was wrapped up in these characteristics, because that’s the part of me that adults approved of and validated.

Because of these traits, I was placed in my school’s gifted program, where once a week I was shipped off to another school with other gifted students to do special projects and enrichment activities. (I mostly remember a lot of logic puzzles, trivia games, and having to play the stock market in fifth grade, which went completely over my head).

In many ways, I am the same person now as I was then. For one, I still don’t understand the stock market. And I’ve also carried many of my innate traits and learned patterns with me into adulthood — my perfectionism, a tendency to overthink and overwork, and a habit of measuring my worth by my achievements. These qualities are often lauded in adults, but they undermine my happiness, and I’ve had to learn to recognize and manage them.

As it turns out, a lot of “former gifted kids” feel the same way. It’s a phenomenon that has been dubbed “gifted kid syndrome” or “gifted kid burnout.” For many, gifted kid syndrome can have serious, lasting consequences — and it may actually be rooted in high sensitivity.

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What is “Giftedness” — and How is it Linked to Sensitivity?

Giftedness is not easily or universally defined. According to the Davidson Institute, a nonprofit serving gifted children, gifted kids are defined as “those who demonstrate an advanced ability or potential in one or more specific areas when compared to others of the same age, experience or environment.” The Institute goes on to note that gifted children often share similar traits, such as:

Emotional intensity at a young age
Heightened sense of self-awareness
Highly developed curiosity
Excellent memory

Sound familiar? Many of these traits are often also possessed by HSPs. In fact, there is significant overlap between giftedness and high sensitivity. According to the Institute for Educational Advancement (IEA), another nonprofit serving gifted children:

“Gifted young people are often more aware of, stimulated by, and affected by their surroundings. [They] feel things with great intensity [and] experience the world in a different way. Emotional or physical reactions to events can last longer than expected and are often replayed in the child’s mind.”

The IEA calls these experiences of heightened stimulation “intensities” or “overexcitabilities” — but what they’re describing is high sensitivity.

Research backs up the link between giftedness and sensitivity. In 2015, giftedness specialist Rianne van de Ven and clinical psychologist Elke van Hoof found that 87% of gifted adults score as highly sensitive people. A similar study, conducted by IHBV and Erasmus University in 2018, found that 77% of gifted people scored as highly sensitive using the criteria established by HSP expert Elaine Aron. In fact, Aron has herself been quoted as saying, “In my opinion, all HSPs are gifted because of the trait itself.”

Of course, labels can be limiting. Not all sensitive people will identify with the “gifted” label, nor will all gifted individuals identify as HSPs. But, given the strong link between the two, it’s likely that many of us HSPs, at some point in our lives, were labeled “gifted” because of our sensitive traits — and in recent years, there has been much discussion about the implications this label has, not only on children but on the adults they grow up to be.

What is ‘Gifted Kid Burnout’?

Burnout is defined as a state of physical or emotional exhaustion that can come with feelings like a complete loss of energy or motivation, a reduced sense of accomplishment, or losing your sense of your own identity.

While burnout is most commonly associated with stress at work, it can apply to other areas of life as well, such as parenting and romantic relationships — or school. In recent years, people have begun using the term to describe a particular type of burnout experienced by many gifted children and adults who were labeled “gifted” when they were younger.

As Nikki Farnham, a writer for The Georgetown Voice, describes it:

“[Gifted kid burnout] refers to students who were placed in advanced-level classes early in their educational careers, only to discover that they can’t maintain the same degree of academic excellence as they get older. They’ve been straight-A students all their life, their personalities slotting perfectly into the spot at the top of the class. But mediocrity crept up on them, until they feel like they have failed their past selves.”

Like other types of burnout, “gifted kid burnout” (or “gifted kid syndrome”) is the result of long-term stress — in this case, brought on by the unique pressures and experience of being considered “gifted.” It is not a medical condition, but an internet term that has gained steam on social sharing sites in recent years. Because the concept originally took off as an online sensation, coined by young people, it has inevitably received some criticism.

But there’s a reason why the idea resonated with so many people — there is some truth behind it. In fact, it’s pretty common, on sites geared toward parents of gifted children, to find advice specifically meant to prevent this kind of burnout in gifted kids as they grow up. And highly sensitive kids may be especially at risk.

HSPs Are More Likely to Have Gifted Kid Burnout

There are a few reasons why HSPs may be especially prone to burnout, in general:

Our nervous systems are more sensitive. It is easier for us to become overstimulated, which means we are more likely to get overwhelmed. External stimuli affect us more than others, which means we are constantly having to adapt — and over time, this can lead to burnout.
We are naturally empathetic. This makes us susceptible to people-pleasing tendencies. We never want to let others down, so we will sometimes neglect our own needs to keep that from happening.
We have strong emotional reactions. Because HSPs process things deeply and feel emotions intensely, we can take minor setbacks, stressors, and criticism especially hard. And while we are used to adapting to these types of challenges, they do add up over time.

Because so many gifted individuals are also highly sensitive, it’s easy to see why they are prone to burnout. In fact, the Davidson Institute suggests that this sensitivity is precisely what is behind cases of “gifted kid burnout”:

“Gifted kid burnout adds a new dimension to the burnout experience because of their unique neurological make-up. Their perfectionism, asynchronous development, and over-excitabilities may feed into the burnout experience in a way that increases the intensity or duration of burnout.”

According to the Davidson Institute, this burnout often stems from the child finding their educational system “repetitive, unrewarding, without autonomy, unfair, or not aligned with their values.” It can also be due to the pressure many gifted kids feel to live up to the expectations of being “gifted.”

How Do I Know If I Have Gifted Kid Syndrome?

Signs of gifted kid syndrome include:

Feeling cynical toward work, school, teachers or classmates
Disengaging from their favorite topics/interests or withdrawing from friends/family
Dreading school, clubs or other activities
Anxiety and panic attacks
Changes in sleeping and eating habits
Feeling helpless or overwhelmed by small setbacks
Physical ailments, like headaches or digestive issues
Being unmotivated to complete chores, assignments, or social obligations
A sense of futility, hopelessness or pessimism toward their future

Left unchecked, you can see how these challenges and attitudes in childhood could create issues for gifted HSPs later in life. Anecdotally, many adults who identify as “former gifted kids” say they have carried this burnout with them into adulthood. Many of them have voiced common experiences they attribute to “former gifted kid syndrome,” such as:

Getting frustrated when something doesn’t come easily to them
Feeling unprepared for the rigors of secondary education/not having the necessary study skills to succeed in college
Struggles with discipline, motivation, and work ethic
Identity challenges, such as not knowing who they are or how to measure their self-worth without academic validation
Pressure to live up to everyone’s high expectations, and/or feeling like a failure or like they’ve wasted their “giftedness”
Perfectionism
Imposter syndrome

Some “former gifted kids” have even shared that they received diagnoses of depression, anxiety, or ADHD later in life — issues they’ve struggled with since childhood but were masked by their temperament because they didn’t exhibit “typical behavior issues.” Of course, it’s worth noting that it is also possible for HSPs to be wrongly diagnosed with these disorders, so be careful not to make assumptions and to seek a professional opinion if you think you (or your child) may have an undiagnosed condition.

How to Overcome “Former Gifted Kid Syndrome” as an Adult

If you’re an HSP who was considered “gifted” in childhood, you might be able to relate to some of the experiences above. If that’s the case, here are a few reminders you might find helpful:

Use self-talk and reframing to embrace failure and constructive criticism. (Here’s how to do that.)
Seek internal validation instead of external validation. You can cultivate this with daily gratitudes or by setting goals for how you will feel rather than what you will accomplish.
Be realistic about your goals and expectations for yourself. Remember to build downtime and unstructured free time into your life plan.
Accept that real life requires real effort, and you can’t expect everything to come naturally to you. This seems obvious, but it’s hard for former gifted kids to internalize it because we are used to being good at things in school.
Learn how to work with your sensitivity instead of against it.
Develop healthy coping mechanisms to deal with stress and overwhelm Yoga, meditation, journaling, physical activity, and creative outlets like art, music or writing are all great options
Prioritize your relationships. Put time and effort into your relationships with friends and family, and don’t work too hard at the expense of these relationships — in the long run, they are more important than your achievements

How to Prevent Gifted Kid Burnout in Sensitive Children

Fortunately, there are things parents and educators can do to help gifted children manage their sensitivity and avoid burning out:

Encourage a mind-body connection. Practices like meditation and yoga can be so beneficial for HSPs, and it is never too early to teach your child how to use these techniques to help manage stress and regulate their overstimulated nervous system.
Normalize having weaknesses — and model imperfection. Show your child that it’s okay to not be good at everything. When they don’t perform well on a test or struggle with a certain concept in school, let them know that that’s okay, and use it as an opportunity to show them how to improve a skill that might not come naturally to them.
Check in with your child and watch for issues like perfectionism, anxiety and depression. Make sure they know they can come to you when they’re overwhelmed and need a break.
Don’t overload your child with extra “work” — activities like extracurriculars, tutoring, etc. Make sure they have plenty of downtime to just be a kid. Prioritize doing things just for fun, and encourage growth in all areas — social, emotional, spiritual, and physical as well as intellectual. Find balance.

Sensitivity is a beautiful gift in and of itself. But we have some work to do to raise sensitive, gifted kids who are socially and emotionally healthy, well-rounded individuals. We need to support gifted HSPs so they don’t burn out, and learn to place value in our own gifts beyond our academic and work achievements.

As HSPs, we are naturally able to appreciate the beauty in our surroundings — in nature, music, and the arts. So, when you’re feeling burnt out, bored, or frustrated because life didn’t turn out the way you expected it to, take a deep breath, notice the world around you, and be kind to yourself. The gift of sensitivity will help you do that.

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