Highly sensitive people (HSPs) are both heartbreakingly delicate and extremely strong. Making up around 20 percent of the population, HSPs feel deeper, have exceptionally powerful intuition, and can relate easily to other people since they absorb their emotions with the blink of an eye. They’re able to connect and “get” others in a way which less sensitive people may find difficult to understand. This makes HSPs valuable employees for the jobs that require people skills — they excel in teaching, nursing, counseling, and many other caring professions. 

As an HSP who works with special needs children, I find it immensely exciting and rewarding, making it one of the ideal jobs for highly sensitive types. Working with children has dramatically changed my life and shifted my previously negative approach to my sensitivity to a more positive outlook. It turns out that my abilities to quietly listen and empathize with children means the world to them, and to me. My extreme sensitivity to just about anything — which I thought of as a weakness in the past — makes children easily relate to me, as they’re often naturally more sensitive compared to adults.

But what makes us HSPs so perfect to work with children? Here’s what I’ve found.

Like what you’re reading? Get our newsletter just for HSPs. One email, every Friday. Click here to subscribe!

6 Reasons HSPs Are Well-Suited to Working With Kids 

1. Your endless empathy will make them feel seen and heard.

Children have the capacity to feel and act on their own emotions, but not necessarily to regulate them. And because HSPs are extraordinarily skilled at “seeing” others — it’s like we have secret powers — they can help them process their feelings. This will reduce overwhelm, overstimulation, and anxiety. Often, we HSPs intuitively know exactly how we can help, which is a big benefit at our workplaces.

2. HSPs are great listeners and always present. 

Nothing is more important for kids than to have a listening, caring adult who is patient and understanding. Every educator knows that some children may exhibit challenging behavior, especially children with additional needs. HSPs are known for their remarkable ability to relate to even the most difficult humans, and our love and compassion for them creates a strong bond. 

3. You have a lot in common with kids, from your zest for life to your child-like wonder about the world.

With an uncanny zest for life and endless curiosity, HSPs have a lot in common with kids and are able to integrate into their lives with ease. Working with children made me rediscover the forgotten sweat of running in a field, the joy of scoring a goal, the sweet smell of autumn leaves thrown in the air, the sudden laugh about anything, and trust, this undeniable, unquestionable, ultimate trust. No one ever was able to trust me so completely and wholeheartedly like a child with special needs under my care. And one captured my heart with such intensity, making me question the meaning of my sensitivity; saying goodbye to him at the end of the school year was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.

4. You seek meaning and purpose in the world, and want others to, as well.

HSPs need to have meaning and purpose in everything they do; we seek personal growth while yearning for a routine. Working with kids is rewarding and worthwhile for future generations, too, and it ticks many boxes for us HSPs. While we have great challenges as highly sensitive souls, our HSP qualities also create a world of balance and harmony for ourselves and those around us. We continue to rejoice in simple, yet complex, fundamental aspects of life, enhanced by our deeply sensitive hearts — and we take our kids with us. Spending time with my students during their break, playing a game, coloring, singing, and just talking and being present with them creates the capacity for learning almost never seen during formal lessons. That was an eye-opener and a gift for me, and helped me grow as both a professional and as a person.

Need to Calm Your Sensitive Nervous System? 

HSPs often live with high levels of anxiety, sensory overload and stress — and negative emotions can overwhelm us. But what if you could finally feel calm instead?

That’s what you’ll find in this powerful online course by Julie Bjelland, one of the top HSP therapists in the world. You’ll learn to turn off the racing thoughts, end emotional flooding, eliminate sensory overload, and finally make space for your sensitive gifts to shine.

Stop feeling held back and start to feel confident you can handle anything. Check out this “HSP Toolbox” and start making a change today. Click here to learn more.

5. Because you are passionate about what you do, “work” doesn’t seem like work.

Because of their sensory processing differences, HSPs are able to feel extraordinary joy in doing what they love. Everybody who is lucky enough to find a job in the area of their passion may experience this authentic delight in what they do. But our tender personalities allow us to feel exquisitely intense, larger-than-life passion. And children can pick up on that. Knowing that someone adores working with them will leave them with no option but to love us back. 

One of the challenges for HSPs is to prove their worth, as most HSPs are magnificently quiet about that. We’re not known to seek recognition about our own success, even though working with children provides recognition of our talents and value for our sensitivity trait. But, rest assured, your immense impact on young souls will be noticed and commemorated. The parent of the child in a special needs school I used to work at once said to me, “There is something about you. I don’t know what it is, I have no name for it, but you are the one who makes all the difference for my child.”

6. HSPs are all about connecting with others, no matter their age.

The beauty of humans is in their complexity. Understanding children doesn’t mean “knowing” — understanding means “connecting” (which HSPs excel at). The connection shapes us as to who we are. As children are the future of humanity, connecting with them puts us in extraordinary positions of finding spiritual meaning, and, ultimately, the meaning of life. In a sense, we are shaping and fostering humanity. 

Working With Children Can Be a Challenge, Too — Especially for HSPs

I have no intention to glamorize working with children. Although I feel lucky to work with beautiful special needs kids, the job can be demanding, exhausting, and at times, extremely challenging. For highly sensitive people, the challenges are amplified: Just like we can feel immense joy from someone’s smile, the smallest problem can propel us into despair. It’s a blessing and a curse.

In a teaching profession, there are many passion-killers, such as endless and confusing paperwork, a phenomenal lack of time for planning, and, my “favorite” (as it creates massive emotional overload): criticism. So-called “constructive feedback” of my performance wounds my whole body and I feel the consequences for a long time. Plus, we HSPs do not take criticism well and are also our own harshest critics. Adding to our already-prepositioned negative perception of what we’ve done “wrong” may destroy us emotionally at times.

But even with ultimate pressures and demands to stretch our often-fragile mental health, we soldier on, bouncing off various emotions and sensory stimuli. The chaotic whirlpool may try to swallow us, creating an almost unbearable fear, anxiety, and fatigue. But with our capacity to be sucked into our own negativity, we also have miraculous abilities to be pulled back up sometimes by an unexpected force. For me, that force was a child’s hand. What is it for you? That’s what’ll make it all worth it and keep you going.

You might like:

• The 7 Best Careers for a Highly Sensitive Person
• 5 Things I Teach My Kids as a Highly Sensitive Parent
• 9 Secret Powers of Highly Sensitive People

The post Why Highly Sensitive People Are Well-Suited to Working With Kids appeared first on Sensitive Refuge.

“Your communication is very poor, residents struggle to understand you! Obviously, your accent makes it even harder. It is too early for you to think about a senior post.” 

My manager in the care home (similar to a nursing home) I worked at paused for effect, glaring straight at me. Snuggled tightly in a comfy chair, she tapped her pen against the table — it sounded terrifying, which forced my brain to stop thinking and shattered my last pieces of confidence. 

I looked back at her and felt tightness in my chest. I understood that anything I could possibly say would be pointless; she’d already made her decision. Besides, she was absolutely right. The elderly people I was looking after — all with various forms of physical and mental disabilities — often did struggle to understand what I said. Or what anyone said. Some of them gradually become less reliant on speaking (verbally) altogether, due to their inability to remember the words, speech problems, or hearing loss. It did not help that if anybody else listened to my conversation with them, like my manager, despite all my efforts to stay calm, my throat would immediately tighten. This would tangle my voice, and my words would become forced, unnatural, and hard to understand. 

But inside my brain, I was a big thinker: I formed beautiful, colorful, passionate, funny, and clever words. Yet when I needed to speak them out loud — especially during important moments like work reviews or interviews — those carefully selected phrases never appeared. Or, they’d come out weak, lifeless, and dull, making it seem like I had little to say. My colleagues, on the other hand, seemed to have no problem speaking up and couldn’t care less who was listening. 

A Lightbulb Moment: Learning I’m a Highly Sensitive Person 

I wondered what was “wrong” with me and how I’d ever climb up the career ladder if I lacked the basic ability to communicate. But then I discovered that I’m a highly sensitive person (HSP) — which means I feel things much deeper, notice even the smallest details, have higher-than-usual sensory perceptions, and require more time to process information. We HSPs are deep thinkers, analysts, empaths, and very intuitive. I also realized I’m not alone — highly sensitive people make up around 20 percent of the population (or more) — and that being an HSP is not a disorder. Coming to the realization that I’m an HSP was a lightbulb moment for me, and a relief to find out that nothing is “wrong” with me, after all.

In doing research on being a highly sensitive person, I discovered that other HSPs, too, are reserved and cannot always verbally express the deepness and brilliance of their thoughts. Others often tell us to be “stronger,” “louder,” and “more assertive” — and, my favorite, “to stop being so sensitive.” In a world where “strong” means being less responsive to stimuli, an HSP who cries seeing a beautiful flower or becomes overwhelmed by a loud sound is not taken seriously enough. And if we don’t speak often enough, we have almost no chance to be understood. All that said, here’s why verbal communication can be difficult for HSPs like me.

Like what you’re reading? Get our newsletter just for HSPs. One email, every Friday. Click here to subscribe!

Why Verbal Communication Can Be a Challenge for Highly Sensitive People

1. HSPs have to think before they speak vs. blurting out the first thing that comes to mind.

While some people say the first thing that comes to mind, HSPs don’t do this (it’s a challenge for us) — we have to think before we speak. Our highly sensitive brains collect and analyze all our thoughts thoroughly and consider every possible outcome of the situation we’re thinking about. 

We’re biologically programmed to mentally research and think (and overthink) every word, and others’ words, too. And by the time we’re finally ready to share our carefully crafted ideas, the conversation has usually moved on. HSPs, being so deep in our thoughts, often lose out, and others may misinterpret this as our being slow or strange for not answering soon enough.

2. Highly sensitive types are greatly affected by both their environment and other people’s feelings.

We highly sensitive types are greatly affected by our environments and other people’s feelings. Uncomfortable surroundings may interfere with our thinking process since we HSPs get overwhelmed by all the stimuli around us. Whether it’s a hard chair, background noise, or someone’s strong perfume, these can all create barriers which can distract HSPs and cause us to not be able to form words. 

And sensing others’ emotions may override our own thoughts and feelings, which also prevents us from being able to speak our minds. It is difficult for us to talk about an upcoming holiday, for instance, when someone else in the room is emotionally distraught due to an issue they’re having. We will feel that pain and our brain will be so busy processing it that their issue will become our focus instead.

3. Many HSPs don’t like small talk — they’d rather have deeper, more thought-provoking conversations.

Most highly sensitive people dislike small talk and its forced nature. Even though it’s often considered a conversation-starter, we feel it depletes our energy. Instead, we’d like to have deeper, more thought-provoking conversations. 

And HSPs are usually comfortable in the presence of silence, too, as we listen to others speak and think of a response. Constantly seeking understanding and meaning, every word we speak must serve a purpose. 

4. Speaking in front of others can cause HSPs to feel pressured and anxious.

It can also be extremely difficult for highly sensitive people to handle the pressure that comes with speaking in front of other people; it makes us feel exposed, judged, and anxious. HSPs are already more overwhelmed day-to-day than non-HSPs, so speaking up — especially if someone puts us on the spot — causes even more overwhelm for us. 

Yet the requirements of life makes it necessary to be a good communicator. Our ability to speak can be crucial to obtain a desired position in society or a dream job. So how can we do it as a quiet HSP?

Need to Calm Your Sensitive Nervous System? 

HSPs often live with high levels of anxiety, sensory overload and stress — and negative emotions can overwhelm us. But what if you could finally feel calm instead?

That’s what you’ll find in this powerful online course by Julie Bjelland, one of the top HSP therapists in the world. You’ll learn to turn off the racing thoughts, end emotional flooding, eliminate sensory overload, and finally make space for your sensitive gifts to shine.

Stop feeling held back and start to feel confident you can handle anything. Check out this “HSP Toolbox” and start making a change today. Click here to learn more.

Ways to Speak up as a Quiet HSP 

Over the years, I have learned a few ways to speak up — even as a quiet HSP.

• Use your sensitive powers to create connections with people. Highly sensitive people are masters in developing connections with others, even non-verbally. While working at the care home, I used gesturing, facial expressions, and body language, as well as verbally spoke with my residents. My highly sensitive brain recorded every tiny detail and analyzed tons of subtle inputs for information. I’d collect people’s thoughts and feelings, observe them, spend time with them, and placed all my findings together like pieces of a colorful puzzle. This allowed me to fully understand my residents. For me, the results were remarkable, and empowered me to care, comfort, and meet the needs of even the most uncommunicative (and often resentful) vulnerable people. 
• Use other forms of communication in addition to verbal. Many HSPs love writing, as it allows them to think at their own pace. Written words have a special ability to influence our minds and give us control we usually don’t experience when speaking. Writing is a very calming process and a tremendously effective form of communication. If you have many unspoken thoughts, just journal about them. The time will come when your written words will be greatly received, wanted, and appreciated.  
• Do not give up: one “bad” conversation doesn’t mean they’ll all be bad. Just because you had a bad conversation with someone, don’t deny others the opportunity to enjoy your words. After I had a conversation with my work manager, I made a cup of tea for an older lady in the care home. We had a small chat and shared a laugh. “Don’t go,” she whispered, as I went to the door and said my goodbyes (it was the end of my shift). Her eyes became wet with tears and she stretched her arms toward me. My highly sensitive soul immediately felt her panic. “Promise me you’ll never leave me,” she said. “You are the only one here I feel at ease to talk with.”

We all speak differently, but sometimes our differences cannot be measured by words, only felt. Naturally, HSPs are wonderfully equipped to sense these unspoken feelings. And one day, this remarkable power of sensitivity will be better recognized and treasured as an essential form of communication that humanity needs in order to thrive. In the meantime, I’ll keep trying to speak — and communicate — the best I can.

You might like:

• The Top 7 Challenges of Highly Sensitive People, According to a Therapist
• Why ‘Highly Sensitive’ Is Just Another Word for ‘Deep Thinker’
• 7 Things That Happen to Highly Sensitive People When They’re Overwhelmed

The post Why Verbal Communication Can Be Difficult for Quiet HSPs appeared first on Sensitive Refuge.

Sometime ago, when my daughter was little, I found myself without a job. After months of frustratingly unsuccessful job searches, I managed to find one at a care home (similar to a nursing home) as a care assistant, which meant I helped patients with everything from eating to bathing.

Honestly, working at one was never my ambition and did not match my qualifications or dreams. Perhaps it was inevitable that I would only be there a few short years. But I was determined to do a good job at this exhaustingly difficult, low-paid position — even if I thought it would just be for a few months while I earned much-needed money for college. 

“A few months” turned into three years. When I finally wrote my resignation letter, instead of joy, I felt profound sadness. In fact, I had a battle with myself because part of me didn’t want to leave the job: Even though it was physically and mentally draining, the people I worked with stole my heart. 

I grew so attached to these sweet elderly people, each one full of stories, I just couldn’t let go. Even now, eight years later, I remember the day, and hour, I walked away from them. I was truly heartbroken and kept wondering why leaving a job I never wanted devastated me so profoundly. I couldn’t understand my feelings: Was I too thin-skinned? Weak? Abnormal?

No, no, and no. 

Instead, it turns out that I’m a highly sensitive person (HSP). This explains why I react so strongly to the stimuli around me — everything from sights to tastes to smells. It’s why I’m extremely intuitive, and absorb others’ thoughts and emotions as though they’re my own.

And, like many sensitive people, it’s why I have a hard time letting go of things — whether it’s a job, a plan, a routine, or a relationship. 

Deep Thinking & Deep Connections Make it Harder to ‘Let Go’

I found out that I’m highly sensitive long after I left the care home job, and it has been so liberating to discover that I am far from alone. In fact, 15 to 20 percent of the population is made up of highly sensitive people, and being an HSP is not a disorder; it has been scientifically proven that HSPs’ brains work differently, making sensitivity a recognizable trait. 

Fiercely thoughtful and delicate, HSPs are wonderfully responsive to even smallest stimuli and so intuitive we almost have psychic power. Some might say we’re experts at “seeing” people and masters of making an impact on them, which magnifies the connections we make with people — as well as situations we’re in, like my job. 

With our amplified emotions and sensitivity, we’ll then bond with others without even realizing how deep our connections are, which makes it that much harder to leave them behind. 

As an HSP, we tend to naturally detect other people’s feelings. When we say, “I feel your pain,” we really do. It is no wonder that so many HSPs are in caring professions, such as teaching, nursing, and counseling. We often give of ourselves completely and wholeheartedly to those who need it, and their well-being and happiness become our priority. 

Due to this intense emotional investment, they almost become a part of us. The connection, like an invisible chain, holds us together, which makes it that much more difficult to break.

Non-HSPs may not always understand why we HSPs are the way we are, like why we get so emotional over the littlest thing. They may tell us we’re “too sensitive” or “overreacting” or that we need to “toughen up.” 

But at the care home, the residents accepted me for me, no judgment. In a way, having people I felt safe with, emotionally, made me feel free. Before then, to be accepted without being judged was a very rare privilege for an HSP like me.

No wonder it was extremely difficult for me to let go of that job and move on.

Need to Calm Your Sensitive Nervous System? 

HSPs often live with high levels of anxiety, sensory overload and stress — and negative emotions can overwhelm us. But what if you could finally feel calm instead?

That’s what you’ll find in this powerful online course by Julie Bjelland, one of the top HSP therapists in the world. You’ll learn to turn off the racing thoughts, end emotional flooding, eliminate sensory overload, and finally make space for your sensitive gifts to shine.

Stop feeling held back and start to feel confident you can handle anything. Check out this “HSP Toolbox” and start making a change today. Click here to learn more.

How to ‘Move On’ When Things Change

Particularly for HSPs, there’s no easy way to say goodbye, whether it’s from a job, person, you name it. Change is usually difficult for HSPs, but I found two ways that have made it a bit easier for me to do so.

We will grow in the process: Before I have to say goodbye, I try to remember that without searching for something more suited for us, we wouldn’t find our higher purpose in life. 

Sadly, moving on often requires leaving behind something and/or someone. As heartbreaking as it is, it can lead us to an even better, lovelier way of life, and direct us to meet wonderful, exquisite people we would not have met otherwise. 

Plus, moving on doesn’t mean we’ll forget those we’ve already met — our tendency to form deep emotional ties to people will keep us connected to them. 

So keep in mind that although leaving will be difficult, having faith that something better is on the horizon can help us feel better about it. 

Make sure to forgive yourself: If you must leave people behind, it doesn’t mean that you are betraying them. Our high sensitivity means that we’re likely to think about the needs of others above our own needs. If someone will be in pain if we leave, we’ll usually feel their suffering, multiplied by hundreds, and we may feel quite guilty.

However, guilt often has a negative impact, eats at us, and stops us from moving on. Oh, that inevitable, crashing, soul-destroying, dark feeling that likes to lure us back and hold onto us tight! Yes, guilt often holds us better than any cage. 

But stop: The others will be just fine without us. They even will likely be better than fine because your departure will free up space for someone else in their life. You don’t want to deny them the gift of gold by taking silver, even if that silver is you. 

In the meantime, before the final moment with someone or an experience, focus on the present moment and enjoy what you’ve got with them right now. It is wonderful how we HSPs feel things so deeply, yet it becomes a double-edged sword when it’s time for us to let go and say goodbye to people or experiences. 

One of the big problems for HSPs is to think (and overthink), and that includes about the future, too. However, we must remember to be grateful we even had the opportunity in the first place and had our lives that much more enriched as a result. And, luckily, due to HSPs’ ability to form connections, we can continue to keep those connections alive even when we’ve moved on.

This article is adapted from our bestselling bool SENSITIVE, recently chosen as one of Amazon.com’s “Best Books of 2023”. Get your copy here.

You might like:

• 8 Tips for HSPs to Take ‘Little’ Things Less Personally
• How to Overcome the Biggest HSP Challenges, According to a Therapist
• Why Change Can Be So Hard for HSPs (And What to Do About It)

The post Why It’s So Hard for HSPs to Let Go appeared first on Sensitive Refuge.