Nikki Andersen, Author at Sensitive Refuge

The 12 Best Things About Being a Highly Sensitive Person

Nikki Andersen — Mon, 08 Sep 2025 17:07:46 +0000

My sensitivity gives me empathy, creativity, and the ability to feel emotions deeply. Here are the twelve best things about being a highly sensitive person.

I’m a highly sensitive person (HSP), and throughout my life, people have implied — or outright told me — that my sensitivity is a burden. They see it as something that sensitive people need to strive to overcome. And believe me, I know as well as anyone that high sensitivity can be overwhelming and hard at times.

But high sensitivity has many benefits that are often overlooked, and I love being an HSP.

Being an HSP isn’t just a personality trait; it’s the core of who I am. My sensitivity gives me empathy, creativity, and the ability to feel emotions at a deeper level — and I think other HSPs get this, too. Here are the 12 best things (in my opinion) about being a highly sensitive person.

The Best Things About Being Highly Sensitive

1. We feel positive emotions deeply.

Although HSPs tend to get upset more easily than others, our ability to feel deeply goes both ways. This means we feel positive emotions with the same potency as negative ones. When something good or exciting happens, even if it’s small, HSPs feel happiness, pleasure, enjoyment, and gratitude very deeply.

One compliment or nice conversation can make our day, or even our week. And when something really amazing or exciting happens, we can radiate good vibes for months.

2. We embrace all of life’s ups and downs.

When we do encounter difficult life experiences or negative emotions, we don’t shy away from them. Highly sensitive people are able to embrace the ups and down of life in a truly holistic way.

For example, this week I had a breakdown at work. For hours, my whole body shook with sobs. Tears dripped from my eyes and nose, streamed down my cheeks, ran down my neck and hands. I wanted to stop the pain; until then, I never realized how much crying hurts. It hurt my chest. My face. My cheeks. My eyes.

But I saw melancholic beauty in the pain, too: the salty taste of tears on my lips. The powerful ache of despair in my chest. The supportive presence of someone beside me.

In a way, it was transformative.

HSPs find meaning and beauty in life’s obstacles and use this to cultivate our resilience and empathy. We connect to joy and sorrow equally, and want to feel the true, authentic depth of human emotion.

3. We appreciate art and beauty.

HSPs are aesthetes by nature. The definition of an aesthete is a person who is appreciative of and sensitive to art and beauty. I have always been someone who is deeply moved by music, movies, images, art, and the wonders of nature (such as sunsets and sunrises). Beauty and art touch me in a transcendent way. I find beauty in mundane things like the weeds in my garden or a colored streak in someone’s hair.

I think most HSPs feel this, to some extent. We can be stitched together and made whole by song lyrics, art, quotes, moonlight, or the simple smell of coffee.

4. We’re empathetic.

The core to being sensitive is the ability to see the world through another’s eyes. Research conducted by Bianca Acevedo has shown that HSPs have stronger empathy than other people. HSPs don’t just feel compassion, sympathy, and joy for others; we can even feel other people’s feelings as if they were our own. In a way, we truly can step into the thoughts and feelings of others.

Sometimes, I think we HSPs fall into the trap of seeing our empathy as a curse — because it can be painful. But empathy is actually a blessing, for ourselves and others. Empathy is what inspires action, understanding, and connection. Empathy is the ultimate driver for highly sensitive people.

5. We’re reflective and self-aware.

Highly sensitive people will often think about our own thinking. When people describe my personality, they frequently use words like “insightful” and “scarily self-aware.” I believe this is due to my reflective nature as an HSP, which I see as an asset when it comes to decision-making. Highly sensitive people can easily reflect on how something went wrong, which helps prevent us from making a similar mistake in the future. We also take the time to think through how things will play out and can often predict or prevent future problems.

6. We’re detail-oriented.

As HSPs, our brains process stimuli differently, and we process information more thoroughly than others do. That means we pick up on little things that others may not notice — such as a small indication that someone is upset, or that a change is occurring in our environment.

Sometimes the details we notice are only of interest to us. But often, this ability gives us tremendous insight. It allows us to excel in projects that require an eye for detail, and makes us conscientious and competent in our work.

Need to Calm Your Sensitive Nervous System?

HSPs often live with high levels of anxiety, sensory overload and stress — and negative emotions can overwhelm us. But what if you could finally feel calm instead?

That’s what you’ll find in this powerful online course by Julie Bjelland, one of the top HSP therapists in the world. You’ll learn to turn off the racing thoughts, end emotional flooding, eliminate sensory overload, and finally make space for your sensitive gifts to shine.

Stop feeling held back and start to feel confident you can handle anything. Check out this “HSP Toolbox” and start making a change today. Click here to learn more.

7. We’re insanely creative.

Let me put it simply: sensitivity inspires creativity.

Since HSPs feel emotions deeply, we naturally seek outlets to express ourselves and are often drawn to art, writing, or music. And when we do, we use our ability to make connections that others don’t to create work that feels fresh, unique, and vivid. There’s a reason that so many great creatives throughout history are believed to be highly sensitive people, such as the great cellist Yo-Yo Ma and singer/songwriter Alanis Morissette.

8. We’re quick learners and deep thinkers.

HSPs are able to process material intuitively and deeply. In particular, the highly sensitive brain is adept at drawing connections to past experiences and bringing them to bear on new situations or information. This is what psychologists call “semantic memory,” a type of long-term memory that deals with meaning, understanding, and other concept-based knowledge. The result? HSPs are able to integrate and explore new concepts very deeply.

We also tend to pick up new information unconsciously, without being aware of what we’ve learned. This often leads to the experiences of a highly sensitive person “just knowing” the answer or solution to a problem. This “sixth sense” isn’t truly psychic, but it’s powerful.

9. We can be great leaders.

In the workplace, there’s a misconception that HSPs do not make good leaders, because, well, we’re just too sensitive. But the qualities of HSPs are in fact the qualities that make great leaders (at least according to all the leadership articles out on the web). These qualities include high emotional awareness and intelligence, a willingness to listen to our teams, creativity, innovation, problem-solving skills, humility, and the ability to learn from our mistakes.

10. We’re people readers — and lie-detectors.

HSPs are intuitive, especially about social and emotional cues, which means we can read people far easier than most. So don’t bother lying to us — we’ll be able to tell something is off!

Although this is a handy perk (especially when playing poker), I often have to remind myself that sometimes people withhold or lie about information simply because they’re not ready to be open, and that’s okay. I also have to remind myself that being aware and sensing that something is off doesn’t mean I’m necessarily right about why.

11. Many of us have a special connection with animals.

Animals are often drawn to sensitive people, probably because they can sense love and empathy. A lot of HSPs I know live on farms, ride horses, and have beautiful connections with their dogs and cats — even the more unusual species of wildlife.

12. We love deeply.

HSPs love with every fiber of our being. Whether it is a familial, friendly, or romantic relationship, we will love those closest to us passionately and profoundly. The downside to this is we can take loss particularly hard, but we know the love was and always is worth it. If an HSP loves you, you have a truly special gift.

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3 Mindfulness Practices That Get Big Results for HSPs

Nikki Andersen — Fri, 02 May 2025 05:26:27 +0000

Mindfulness Mindfulness can lower your stress, improve your mood, and help you deal with your emotions. But does it work even better for sensitive people?

I recently finished a 10-week course on mindfulness and wellbeing, facilitated by a psychologist. Before starting the course, I didn’t think I was very mindful, simply because I’m an overthinker whose emotions seem to have a mind of their own.

However, halfway through the course, I realized that the way highly sensitive people (HSPs) experience the world is often — by default — quite mindful.

HSPs tend to notice the world around them, particularly sensory information such as sounds, colors, and scents. They’re also aware of emotions, especially the emotions of others, because they absorb them easily.

While many people go through life on autopilot, missing the beautiful subtleties around them, HSPs may be better at appreciating the small moments in life. They absorb and reflect on what is happening — both around them and within them.

And this, I’ve learned, is one of the core components of mindfulness.

Yet HSPs, like everyone else, do need to do some kind of mindfulness practice in order to get the full effect. And when they do, HSPs may actually get an even bigger payoff than anyone else.

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The Benefits of Mindfulness

Although sensitive people naturally approach life in a more mindful way, many of us – including myself – do not practice mindfulness enough. We spend a lot of time lost in our minds, preoccupied with memories of the past, thoughts and worries about the future, and judgments and reactions to the things we encounter.

Personally, I could probably overthink myself into a coma.

Mastering mindfulness involves developing the ability to calm your mind to access its full potential. With a calm and focused mind, we can harness our thoughts to achieve far greater outcomes for ourselves – and for the people around us.

All of us face significant stressors and a variety of emotional influences every day. And HSPs tend to internalize these influences, sometimes to our detriment. By practicing mindfulness, we can reduce the effects these daily stressors have on our ability to focus on the present. We learn to:

Deal with our emotions in a healthy way
Break our habitual patterns of reacting by pausing and making better choices
Improve our mood and lower stress
Become more present and engaged in our work, relationships, and personal lives

As we learn mindfulness strategies, our brains become increasingly accustomed to this new way of operating, and eventually, it becomes habitual.

Does Mindfulness Do More for HSPs than non-HSPs?

Thanks to the sensitive Boost Effect, it is likely that mindfulness practices have even greater benefit for highly sensitive people than they do for people of average sensitivity.

The Boost Effect is the finding that, although negative stressors may take a greater toll on sensitive people, positive or growth-oriented activities actually pay off more for sensitive people, too. For example, as sensitivity expert Andre Sólo writes in the book Sensitive, couples are more likely to save their marriage through marriage counseling if at least one of the two partners is an HSP, and HSP teens with depression are much more likely to overcome it thanks to therapy than less-sensitive teens, who tend to get little or no benefit from therapy at all. As Sólo puts it, it’s as if sensitive people are walking around with a jet pack on their back and only need a little bit of support to ignite it.

While the sensitive Boost Effect has not been studied specifically in connection with mindfulness, it is likely that a regular mindfulness practice has similar effects for HSPs: they get bigger results with the same amount of effort.

How to Be More Mindful

Here are three ways for highly sensitive people be more mindful in their daily life:

1. Remember that you are not your thoughts and feelings.

You are simply an observer of your thoughts and feelings. This is a powerful message for HSPs who often feel so overwhelmed by their thoughts and emotions that they become mentally and emotionally flooded.

By becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings — and observing them in a nonjudgemental way as they come and go — you will become more present.

Here’s a great analogy from my psychologist: Imagine your thoughts and emotions as trains at the station. You’re on the platform watching them arrive and depart. Although you don’t have control over which trains come and go, you do have control over yourself. You can make the choice to get on — or not get on — any one of those trains.

When a negative emotion like rage, jealousy, or fear comes up, try not to jump on and go for a ride to a place you don’t want to go. Instead, observe and appreciate the train while it’s at the station (yes, it will eventually leave). You are not your thoughts or feelings, and they are not you.

2. Focus on your senses.

One of the best techniques for becoming more mindful is to bring your awareness to every sense. What can you hear, see, touch, and feel right now? What are the sensory inputs around you and inside you at this moment?

Pause to smell the tantalizing aroma of coffee or the salty ocean air. Admire the beauty and diversity of nature in your neighbourhood, and the sound of chirping birds and the humming whisper of the wind.

Notice how your clothes feel against your body. The way soft clean bed sheets kiss your skin in the early morning. The taste of your lover’s kiss. The spikiness of freshly mowed grass under your feet.

Check in with your body and see how you’re feeling. Focus on the ache in your back, or the way sweat glistens on your skin after exercise, or the sound of your stomach grumbling.

Focus your attention on the simple tasks of your day. Don’t overthink or over-analyze them. Just appreciate the little moments for what they are. When you get into the habit of checking in with your five senses, you’ll better ground yourself in the present — and help keep anxiety and negative thoughts away.

3. Practice regular self-care.

Regular self-care is important for anyone, but for highly sensitive people who process stimuli deeply, it’s even more important. Self-care involves taking time for yourself and doing the things you love — the things that connect with your spirit and make you feel alive.

Self-care can help you lose your churning thoughts and worries if you pour all your love, intention, and attention into whatever self-care activity you’re doing.

So, when you treat yourself, relish it. When you travel, work to be present where you are. When you listen to music, actively tune into it. And if you like reading or writing, fully immerse yourself in it.

Mindfulness-based self-care is about having a few simple practices and habits that build a foundation for long-term stamina, resilience, and wellbeing. Practicing self-care in a mindful way keeps you “topped off” so you can nourish not only yourself but also be more present and energetic for others.

Need some mindful self-care ideas? Check out my article, 20 Self-Care Ideas for Highly Sensitive People.

But before clicking away from this article, please take a moment to pause, take a deep breath, and sense everything around you. Appreciate what it’s like to be alive in this very moment. By doing so, you’re taking the first step of your mindfulness journey.

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A Letter to My Mind, From a Highly Sensitive Person

Nikki Andersen — Sat, 28 Dec 2024 12:00:00 +0000

“You soak up people’s feelings like a sponge that I can bathe myself with.”

Dear mind,

You’re an elusive shapeshifter. One moment you’re a fawn in the African grass, weary of the lion on the move. The next, you’re the lion. Running. Always running. Through millions of thoughts, memories, and feelings. Some clear and bright. Others more obscure, like Roman labyrinths descending into dark history.

I don’t want to go there, not tonight. I know you’ll make me an unwilling tourist anyway.

You think too much. Have I ever told you that? You think ahead. You think behind. You think sideways and at odd angles. If it exists, you’ve probably thought of it.

Are you burned out? I know I am. I’m so tired, but I can’t sleep.

Insomnia is like my ex-boyfriend. He’s got this romantic way of making the night seem indispensable. Each night, he sweeps me up in his arms and arouses my anxiety, one kiss at a time.

Mind, you’re a mystery to me; always calm in the storm but uneasy in the quiet. The only time I don’t feel your presence is when I’m sleeping. I know you’re still there, though. Some nights, you make my teeth a necropolis of grinding bones, damaged from biting down on themselves. I startle to find my bottom lip is a victim of your assault. Split like a sliced apple.

The remnants of your nightmare roll by like an overnight train whose journey comes to mean less and less in my waking moments. I don’t remember what you were thinking. Wherever you went, it wasn’t a good place. Next time, bolt a “no enter” sign on that door.

People say I’m over-sensitive.

My doctor says I have PTSD.

I don’t know what to think.

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Mind, You Soak Up Feelings Like a Sponge

Dearest mind, you soak up people’s feelings like a sponge that I can bathe myself with, until I am swimming, or floating, or drowning in a maelstrom of emotions that don’t belong to me.

If everyone around me is stressed, I’m stressed — even when I have nothing to be stressed about.

I am happiest when others are happy.

When others are sad, I’m so unbelievably sad.

I once had a friend who lost her brother. I was sad about it for weeks. We aren’t super close, and we don’t even live in the same town. Yet it was all I could think about because for a moment, you made me a siblingless sister.

I cried for her. Tears dripped from my eyes and nose, streamed down my cheeks, ran down my neck and hands. I wanted to stop the pain. I wanted to stop her pain. I wanted to stop crying. Until then, I never realized how much crying hurt. It hurt my chest. My face. My eyes. Everything hurt…

Mind, you step into other people’s shoes, without untying mine. Some days, I find myself walking; one foot in a perfect shoe size, the other in a shoe that is too big or too small. I find myself tripping, and stumbling, and feeling sad over the sight of a homeless man, or from talking to a friend who’s unhappy in her job. In these moments, you make me feel like I don’t have a home or an enjoyable job, when nothing could be further from the truth.

Sometimes, it gets really loud and confusing, especially in crowded places. It’s like having five radio stations on all at once. I don’t know who to listen to. Some days, I can’t even hear myself. There are times when I think I’m going crazy. I want to run out of meetings and malls in screaming hysterics because everyone won’t shut up, even though nobody’s actually said a damn thing.

Open offices will be your Armageddon.

To my managers, I’m sorry.

When I get home, I try to sort out which emotions belong to me and which don’t.

Mine, not mine, mine, not mine, not mine…

I don’t know if this one’s mine… do you think this is mine? Well, I guess it’s mine now.

In rebellion, I vomit up words and art.

Alternatively, I get really quiet.

I’m so quiet because you’re so loud. You’re so loud that sometimes I don’t hear the 5 a.m. train rush by, the one I was supposed to catch. I’m so caught up in the stories you weave and the thoughts you think. You’re transcending.

Mind, You’re the Good Kind of Crazy

Dear mind, I know, without a doubt, that you’re crazy. The good kind of crazy. The kind that tells stories. The kind that searches for others in their darkest moments. The kind that chooses empathy time and time again, no matter the cost. The kind that seeks freedom through art, and believes in better tomorrows, and purposeful days. The kind that lives kindly.

Dear mind, we got this.

Now, please go to sleep.

—

Fellow highly sensitive people, can you relate?

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The 20 Best Self-Care Methods for Highly Sensitive People

Nikki Andersen — Thu, 21 Nov 2024 11:00:00 +0000

Highly sensitive people process stimuli deeply, and as a result, they often need more self-care than others. Here are 20 of the best self-care ideas for HSPs.

I’ve only recently started my journey of self-care, and I’m ashamed I didn’t start it sooner. You see, I’ve never liked the term “self-care.” It seems silly that we need a word to affirm to ourselves and others that we’re not just being selfish by choosing to do something good for ourselves. However, I’m beginning to realize that self-care is a necessity, not an indulgence — especially for highly sensitive people (HSP) like myself.

Roughly 30 percent of people are HSPs, people who process stimuli deeply due to a biological difference in their nervous system. As a result, they can be easily overwhelmed and often need more self-care than others — that trait is a core part of what a highly sensitive person is. If you’re a highly sensitive person who feels guilty for taking time out for yourself, remember that self-care ultimately makes you a healthier, happier, and less stressed person. By investing in yourself, you can “show up” better for others and the work you do.

Here are 20 self-care ideas for highly sensitive people.

Like what you’re reading? Get our newsletter just for HSPs. One email, every Friday. Click here to subscribe!

Self-Care Ideas for Highly Sensitive People

1. Get more sleep

Don’t go without less than eight hours of sleep for more than two nights in a row. I believe this is advice everyone should take, but if you’re an HSP, you might need even more sleep than others because your nervous system is constantly on overdrive, and you’re more likely to experience emotional burnout. Sleep de-stresses and revitalizes your nervous system, giving you more power to function throughout the day.

2. Listen to your body

Make a point of checking in with your body and emotions throughout the day. Notice when you feel yourself reacting negatively or beginning to feel overwhelmed. At the very beginning of those feelings (not after they’ve had time to grow and snowball!), take time out to recharge. If possible, spend time alone, even if it’s as simple as taking a quick five-minute walk away from your work and the buzz of your office.

3. Make friends with other HSPs

Finding people who can empathize and understand your needs is a treasure — especially for HSPs who may feel misunderstood because of their sensitivities and unique way of viewing the world.

4. Get lost in a book

Curl up on the couch and let the power of stories carry you away from reality for a little while.

5. Make art

Even if it’s bad art. Even if you can’t draw/paint/write for anything. Try it and have fun. I find splattering random colors on a canvas and blending them together to be extremely therapeutic.

6. Take a bath

I love steaming hot baths. I fill it with bath crystals and lavender salts and surround myself with candles.

7. Drink tea

This is a routine I’ve recently adopted. I’ve been experiencing terrible insomnia for the past five months and have now gotten into the routine of drinking “sleep tea” before I go to bed, which contains lemon balm, lavender, jasmine blossoms, and rose petals. It smells and tastes delightful!

8. Write

I recently wrote an article about all the reasons I write, and I truly believe writing or journaling is one of the most salutary pastimes. Writing helps me understand myself, my feelings, others, and the world around me. And it helps me sift through difficult emotions, ultimately helping me release pent-up negative feelings and recharge.

9. Hug your dog

Or cat, rabbit, or horse. Animals provide a loving connection and don’t ask too much of us in return. Whenever I’m stressed, I lay on the floor, next to a blazing fireplace with my old dog next to me (or sometimes on top of me) — and her company makes me feel so much better.

10. Eat chocolate (and don’t feel guilty about it)

It’s packed with antioxidants and provides a strong, positive sensory experience for the HSP.

11. Declutter

If you don’t feel relaxed when you walk into your home, scan your environment and change the things that make you feel stressed. Declutter your wardrobe, tidy your kitchen, and embrace minimalism. HSPs tend to be highly affected by their surroundings, so even the sight of clutter can make them feel unnecessarily stressed.

12. Breath intentionally

Learn how to breathe deeply and purposefully. Listen to your breathing. Meditate. Inhale and exhale thoughtfully.

13. Go for a walk

I walk everyday (sometimes twice a day), in rain, hail, or sunshine. Walking (especially among nature) helps clear the mind and sparks creativity. Why not take a hike along your local trail?

14. Take yourself on a date

I recently saw a movie by myself and found it to be an awesome experience. Likewise, I enjoy wandering through art galleries, libraries, and museums alone, because it allows me to take the time to enjoy things that interest and inspire me. The options are endless but the idea is to take yourself somewhere you want to go and to do something you want to do.

15. Listen to music

It’s a source of healing and wellbeing, and has been scientifically shown to reduce anxiety and provide pain relief. I always carry a pair of headphones in my handbag so I can plug myself into some relaxing tunes whenever I start feeling overwhelmed.

16. Remove yourself from toxic people and situations

Being nice and being a doormat are two very different things. I used to fall into the doormat category way too often, especially when I wasn’t feeling my strongest — which isn’t uncommon for harmony-loving HSPs. I went along with whatever people wanted of me, fully owning my reputation as a people pleaser, only to feel annoyed with myself later. I’m still learning to be strong in who I am, to not let people walk over me, and to remove myself from toxic people and situations — and each time I do, it’s an act of self-care.

17. Exercise

I love exercising. I know I’m probably one of the rare people who can say this but it’s the truth! Exercising is my “time out.” I’ve exercised almost every day for the last decade. I don’t always exercise hard — I often just turn on some music and get moving. I often mix up my routine, whether it’s going to the gym, hula hooping, rollerblading, or yoga.

18. Log off social media

I love social media but know that scrolling through people’s statuses can lead to negative feelings sometimes. It’s like watching a crafted advertising campaign of everyone’s life — shiny and sparkly, presented at its best, making you feel as though you’re the only one struggling in life. A social media detox can be a form of self-care.

19. Travel

Life at times can make you feel like you’re stuck in a rut. Taking a vacation or just changing the scenery, even if it’s just down the road, can work wonders. Just one trip away could help change your outlook on life for the better and recharge your mental state. Travel in and of itself can sometimes be overwhelming for HSPs, but there are things you can do to enjoy it more.

20. Practice authenticity

Know what your values are and honor them. Stop looking for approval from others and find it within. Create routines and rituals that fuel your confidence and strength — even if they don’t make sense to other people. Do what works for you. Stop being your own worst enemy and treat yourself with kindness, patience, and forgiveness. This all takes effort but it’s worth it.

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