“If the chaos of the day has worked its way into your heart and bones…“

For most people, being highly sensitive means having some very big, intense feelings. It also means taking on feelings from others — those around you, your loved ones, and society at large. This is what gives highly sensitive people (HSPs) such a high capacity for empathy and compassion. But, in times of fear and uncertainty, it can mean carrying the weight of the world.

That’s what poet Leah Cox has on her mind as the global pandemic spreads. I spoke to Cox this week and she says that, while many people are settling into a new normal, HSPs are often the ones left processing the angst — as Cox knows well, because she’s highly sensitive herself.

But, even in a crisis, she says sensitive people are not alone:

You are held and supported by a tribe of people who know what it is to feel the world the same way you do. A tribe of people with hearts as big as your own, flowing over with compassion and tenderness and care for all the world.

Cox also says that being sensitive is a divine gift — one the world needs. She believes that the anxiety they absorb can be transmuted into into something more:

When everything is thrown into question and the future seems to hang like a fragile thread, our vision may become even more intense. The beauty of a sunrise, of birdsong, of an awakening spring flower, or the gentle lap of the ocean at the water’s edge, can give rise to such a fierce burning pain in one’s heart that it seems impossible to hold.

[But] you can hold it. We can hold it together… Let the grief and sadness that dwells beneath the fear and anxiety find release through your tears. Take exquisite care of your sensitive soul and yes, this is hard sometimes, so when overwhelm comes or you tip over into anger at your loved ones who feel things differently, be extra, extra gentle with yourself.

That simple act of crying it out isn’t just a way to release your own suffering, but all the suffering you’ve taken on for others. In that sense, Cox says, it’s a work of importance for all of humanity. It’s why she says sensitive people are “placed like jewels in each corner of the globe” — to ease collective pain.

When I asked Cox if she could write a poem for sensitive people dealing with our current state of panic, she told me she already had two of them ready to go. The first one, “Before Dawn,” dives into the powerful act of transmuting pain. The second one, “Elixir of the Forest,” turns that transformation on the reader.

If you’re sensitive yourself, I think you’ll find them soothing — and, perhaps, find yourself releasing some of the world’s worry.
—Andre Sólo, editor

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Two Poems by Leah Cox

Before Dawn

Sometimes, in the dead of night
or the still dark hour before dawn
I wake
and feel the day’s pent up fear and worry
wither into sadness.
The body works it out in tears
until the heart remembers its softness.
Wounds melted, sleep gathers me again
to its belly and I fall into the pillow
and beyond into my dreams,
a lighter load to carry.

Elixir of the Forest

If the chaos of the day
has worked its way into your
heart and bones, wrapping itself
like a boa constrictor around your breath,
walk home by way of the woods, if you can.

Crossing the threshold from modern world
to ancient trees, a stillness falls
from head to foot, unwinding the knots
around the troubled mind.

The trees, and all that live amongst them,
from forest floor to uppermost canopy,
guard an ancient truth to soothe the heart
and restore the wearied soul.

From bark and branches presence flows,
gathering in generous pools about one’s feet.
Stoop, my love, and drink.
Let the elixir of the forest
bring you home.

Leah Cox is a writer, poet and teacher focusing on themes of sensitivity, healing, awakening, creativity and following the call of your heart. Click here to read more of her work.

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The post ‘Like a Boa Constrictor’: A Poet Takes on Our Worldwide Anxiety appeared first on Sensitive Refuge.

Looking back, with the knowledge and information I have now, it’s easy to see that so much of what I struggled with in life was related to my highly sensitive nature.

For example, I had a hard time at college because so much of the experience was in direct conflict with my needs as a highly sensitive person — although I didn’t know it at the time.

In an effort to fit in, I went along to nightclubs, enduring hours of loud music and feeling utterly awkward amongst so many people, all of whom seemed to be having a great time. I remember getting back to my dorm room at the end of nights like these, closing the door behind me and slumping down to the floor in tears, wondering what was wrong with me.

The same thing happened in my career. When I started work in corporate London, the bright overhead lighting, the open plan office structure and the constant interruptions from colleagues left me feeling frazzled at the end of the day.

Even relationships were baffling. I craved them and yet once they were there, I never felt I had enough space. The people I dated always seemed to want more time with me than I could give them, and I felt endlessly stifled.

That’s why it’s an unbelievably beautiful thing when something shows up in your life that gives voice to your experience of being alive, validating what you’ve felt for years but could never put into words.

That was how it felt when I learned about high sensitivity — and realized, for the first time, that my personality may come not just with downsides, but with gifts.

“I started to understand that high sensitivity, far from being a defect, was actually a divine gift.”

There Is Nothing ‘Wrong’ with You

For me, it happened when I came across Dr. Elaine Aron’s book, The Highly Sensitive Person. It told me that roughly 1 in 5 people are born with a slightly different nervous system, one that processes everything more deeply. That these highly sensitive people get overstimulated and overwhelmed for a reason — because of all that work their brain and nerves are doing. And that, yes, based on the signs, I am one of them.

Reading that book was like a deep exhale. To simply know that the way I experienced the world was legitimate, that there wasn’t anything “wrong” with me, and that other people had similar experiences, was such a relief.

But it was more than that. Discovering more about being highly sensitive allowed me to start seeing it in a positive light and to slowly start realizing that what had seemed like my life’s curse was perhaps my greatest gift.

Over time, my appreciation for my highly sensitive nature grew. And, slowly, I was able to own it more fully. In my head, instead of hearing people say, “You’re too sensitive,” I started to notice the way people told me things like, “You’re so moved by the beauty of the world; it’s exquisite.”

I started to understand that high sensitivity, far from being a defect, was actually a divine gift. Something certain people come into the world with, and, when properly understood, can be used for incredible good.

“The combination of depth of feeling, spiritual insight, and creativity gives rise to art that comes from a place far beyond the human intellect.”

4 Gifts Highly Sensitive People Bring to the World

I believe that there are endless ways in which the gifts of highly sensitive people show up in the world. Here are four of the most transformative:

1. You have the ability to create art that heals.

Highly sensitive people have a great depth of feeling. They notice the extraordinary beauty in the ordinary things of everyday life that others often miss. They see, hear, feel, and smell things that others don’t. A highly sensitive person might lose themselves for hours in a bird singing, a raindrop, or a smile.

They also often have a deep connection to the spiritual and are often incredibly creative. This combination of depth of feeling, spiritual insight, and creativity gives rise to art that comes from a place far beyond the human intellect. Whether it’s through words, painting, dance, music, or anything else, this is art that stirs the souls of others, and touches them in a way that can truly heal.

This is exactly why so many famous creatives, from artists like Frida Kahlo and Vincent van Gogh to musicians like Drake and Bruce Springsteen are believed to be highly sensitive people.

2. People feel safe to share things with you that they haven’t shared (and may never share) with anyone else.

Highly sensitive people don’t shy away from their shadow side. They are explorers of their inner world and are often deeply familiar with their pain. Because they have explored so deeply and so honestly, they are often people who can hold space for others to explore themselves in a similar way, while never feeling judged. In other words: people feel safe around us.

To offer this space to another human being, whether as a friend or in a professional capacity, is a gift beyond compare.  

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3. People feel heard, seen, and understood in your presence.

As human beings, we long to be truly seen and understood by another. We want to be known, deeply. Highly sensitive people can’t help but truly “see” people. Like empaths, they’re extraordinarily attuned to the needs of others in the moment. They pick up on cues that others don’t and read between the lines.

People value spending time with highly sensitive people because they feel seen, heard, and understood in a way they often don’t around others.

4. You’re a guide for others.

When you’re a highly sensitive person, it’s easy to assume that everyone sees the world the way you do, but of course, they don’t.

Because highly sensitive people spend more time than others reflecting on the big questions of life, noticing things that others don’t, and making connections between seemingly unrelated areas of life, they’re often seen as wise and insightful people. And, often, they end up helping guide others who are in search of answers. This can be as complex as the work a therapist does, or as simple as a few thoughtful words when someone has poured out their feelings to you.

In a world where so many feel lost and out of touch with their true selves, guides like this are rare — and people naturally seek them out.

Owning Your Sensitivity Is the Most Powerful Thing You Can Do

When you feel that your highly sensitive traits are negative aspects of who you are, you diminish them, try to cover them up, and work to become more like “other people.”

But when you view your highly sensitive traits as beautiful gifts to the world, you start to put them front and center, and you can use them as a way to guide you. This creates a life that not only celebrates your sensitivity, but also serves others in a powerful way.

And as highly sensitive people, helping others and walking with them in their healing journey is exactly what we were made to do.

You might like:

• A Poem for Highly Sensitive People
• Why HSPs Burn Out So Quickly (and How to Get Relief)
• Dear Friends, I Love You, But I Just Can’t Go Out Tonight. Sincerely, an HSP

The post 4 Ways Being Highly Sensitive Is a Divine Gift to the World appeared first on Sensitive Refuge.

But highly sensitive people are not broken — they are gifted. And they are at their strongest and happiest when they dig into that gift and own it, embracing their highly sensitive nature.

This poem by highly sensitive poet Leah Cox digs deep into that experience: the pain, the shaming, and the triumph of being highly sensitive. It’s the first poem we’ve run on Highly Sensitive Refuge, and if you’re highly sensitive yourself, I think you’re going to relate. — Andre Sólo, editor

Not a Defect

Leah Cox

I was nineteen and in my first year of college.
This was the end of just another night.
The door of my little single room closed behind me and
locked in the safety of its walls
I slumped, slowly
to the floor
and sobbed.
When there was nothing left
but a dry crust of salt around my eyes
I slept, exhausted
from another day confused by life
and my place within it I couldn’t seem to find.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’d gone along, as I always did
to the club where ‘everyone went.’
Awkward, I stood
with a drink in my hand I didn’t want
but too afraid to be without the comfort of something,
anything,
to hold on to;
as if that glass might somehow save me from the night.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Too much noise.
Too many people.
I didn’t dare dance.
But still,
I stood
and smiled
and nodded in false understanding when someone screamed something in my ear.
Ears that would later ring out into the empty night.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My tears were ones of confusion, self-loathing
and anger at life.
I had never been told,
I had never learned
that my high sensitivity was not a defect
but a divine gift
that
when properly understood
could be used for unimaginable good.
Indeed,
I had never even known my sensitivity as sensitivity;
only this pervasive sadness
and feeling of being
wrong.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
A decade more would need to pass before,
finally,
I would begin to understand
and I would learn
slowly, slowly
to give myself the permission others hadn’t known to offer
that it was ok
and also desirable
to be myself.
To love the quiet
and the solitude
and the hours of reflection and seeking
always wanting to go deeper into this mystery of life.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I have only ever longed
to be myself
and to share the world as I see and feel it
extending a hand as I travel to all those who are yet to know
that their high sensitivity is not a defect
but a divine gift
that
when properly understood
can be used for unimaginable good.

Leah Cox is a writer, poet and teacher focusing on themes of sensitivity, healing, awakening, creativity and following the call of your heart. Click here to read more of her work.

You might like:

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The post A Poem for Highly Sensitive People appeared first on Sensitive Refuge.