Ankita Raghuvanshi, Author at Sensitive Refuge

7 Things That Make Life Difficult for an HSP — And How You Can Help

Ankita Raghuvanshi — Mon, 15 Sep 2025 11:00:00 +0000

Highly sensitive people are naturally more reactive to things than less-sensitive people. Here’s what stresses them out the most.

Do you know a highly sensitive person (HSP)? And do you often feel that if you only knew how to help your HSP friend or loved one, you could have a much stronger relationship with them?

If you answered yes to even one of these questions, this article is for you.

HSPs are more sensitive than most people and struggle with things that are seemingly trivial to others. Knowing what makes their life difficult is the first step — and learning how to respond in a situation is even better.

In this post, you’ll learn seven things that make life difficult for an HSP and ways in which you can help in each situation.

Here we go.

7 Things That Make Life Difficult for an HSP — And What You Can Do to Help

1. Conflict

Highly sensitive people are very uncomfortable in conflict situations and try to avoid them at all costs. We’re also not fans of criticism.

So, even if we are upset about something, instead of facing the person who upset us or voicing our opinion, we tend to shove things under the carpet and avoid confrontation.

How you can help: Don’t force HSPs into uncomfortable situations, even if you mean well. Also, try to broach an uncomfortable subject in a friendly way, instead of starting with an argument or criticism. You must remember that the “S” in “HSP” is for “sensitive,” so be mindful of your HSP’s feelings.

For example, let’s say you have a fight with your HSP partner and they walk out instead of continuing to argue. Instead of following them, give them the space they need to clear their head. Then, talk about the problem later on, when you’re both more calm and can have a more productive discussion.

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2. Saying “no”

HSPs are really bad at saying “no,” which often costs them emotionally and in other ways. Boundary-setting can be tough for them.

One reason for this is that they’re naturally empathic, so they want to make sure you’re happy and don’t want to disappoint you.

They also don’t want to upset anyone — they’re natural people-pleasers — so they say yes even when they don’t really want to.

Finally, they may feel social pressure to say yes to things like going out or attending a party, which may not be how they want to spend their weekend. Due to all the overstimulation they experience, sometimes they need alone time to recharge vs. being on the go too much.

How you can help: When inviting an HSP to something or asking them for anything, always provide them with the option to decline upfront. Phrase your invitation as a question, not a statement.

For example, instead of saying, “Let’s meet tomorrow evening”, say “Are you up for meeting for dinner tomorrow night?” And if they say no, respect their decision; don’t pressure them into saying yes.

3. Seemingly simple misunderstandings

While no one likes to be misunderstood, being so affects HSPs more than anyone else. The simple reason is that HSPs like to please people and avoid conflict, so if anyone misunderstands them, they feel a need to explain themselves.

Given that HSPs feel things more strongly than less-sensitive people, they tend to react to situations differently — and that causes situations where people might misunderstand them.

How you can help: Avoid assuming things when it comes to highly sensitive people. Instead, ask for clarification and give them the chance to explain their point of view, even if it might be contradictory to yours.

4. Overthinking

Most HSPs are overthinkers. They not only feel things more deeply, but also think about the consequences of their actions and how they will affect others.

This empathy, while a good trait, can lead to overthinking even the most trivial decisions, because they tend to think about things from 101 different angles.

Another extension of this habit is overanalyzing every conversation, as well as people’s tones, body language, and more. Sometimes HSPs will play conversations over and over again in their heads, thinking how they “should have” responded.

How you can help: While you can’t do much if someone has a habit of overthinking, what you can do is try to communicate better. Be clear in your communication, leaving no doubt for misinterpretation. Don’t say what you don’t mean. This will help sensitive folks overthink less and not feel as exhausted from doing so.

Need to Calm Your Sensitive Nervous System?

HSPs often live with high levels of anxiety, sensory overload and stress — and negative emotions can overwhelm us. But what if you could finally feel calm instead?

That’s what you’ll find in this powerful online course by Julie Bjelland, one of the top HSP therapists in the world. You’ll learn to turn off the racing thoughts, end emotional flooding, eliminate sensory overload, and finally make space for your sensitive gifts to shine.

Stop feeling held back and start to feel confident you can handle anything. Check out this “HSP Toolbox” and start making a change today. Click here to learn more.

5. Emotional triggers

As we all know, highly sensitive people are emotional and can get triggered easily, and in different ways. From ugly-crying watching a movie to having an emotional outburst in public, HSPs can get triggered and have an emotional response anytime, anywhere. It is easy for them to feel emotionally “flooded.” And something seemingly trivial, like making a rude comment or crude joke, may illicit an emotional reaction, which less-sensitive people may consider to be “dramatic.” However, remember: Everyone is valid to have their feelings.

How you can help: If you’re in a close relationship with an HSP, you can try to identify their triggers and avoid situations where they may get triggered.

In general, you can just be more understanding of their emotions. Instead of calling them “dramatic” or “too emotional,” try being comforting and ask them how they’re feeling and what you can do.

6. Indecisiveness

As mentioned earlier, sensitive people tend to overanalyze things, scrutinizing every little thing in great detail. This often causes decision paralysis, as they get stuck in their heads overanalyzing, failing to make quick decisions.

For example, we HSPs can spend an hour deciding what to watch on Netflix and then give up, frustrated with all the options. Or we might change our minds about what food to order around 10 times before deciding to simply cook something at home.

Point being, decisions are hard for us, and not being able to make them causes a lot of frustration.

How you can help: Help HSPs make a decision by limiting the number of choices you give them. Or, better yet, make the small decisions yourself instead of putting it on them.

For instance, if you and your partner plan to go out, you either make the decision of where to go or give them 2-3 options to choose from.

7. Changes

Most HSPs don’t deal well with change, even small ones. They find comfort and safety in routine and are often known to have very fixed daily routines.

Moving to a new house, applying for a new job, or even planning a vacation can be stressful for HSPs. Anything out of their comfort zone can cause stress for a sensitive person.

How you can help: Take them through the change and how it will affect them. Reassure them that it’s not going to have a big effect on their daily life. And if it is a big change, reassure them that you’ll be there to help them navigate the change, every step of the way. You can also go over the steps with them and take things one step at a time…

Ready to Form a Deeper Connection With Your HSP?

Hopefully, you can relate to most, if not all, of these things if you are in any kind of relationship with an HSP.

Understanding things that make life difficult for them can help you make things a little easier for them, and they’ll appreciate it, trust me!

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9 Relatable Things That Drain Highly Sensitive People

Ankita Raghuvanshi — Wed, 14 Feb 2024 12:00:00 +0000

If you often feel completely drained, you may have “energy leaks.” The sooner you identify them, the sooner you can fix the leaks.

Highly sensitive people (HSPs) feel things a little too intensely and can get overwhelmed in situations that might seem like no big deal (or less of a deal) to others.

If you often feel completely drained of energy, without actively doing much, then you may have “energy leaks,” so to speak, that you didn’t even know about.

In this post, you’ll learn about nine everyday things that tend to leave highly sensitive people emotionally drained. Identify the ones that are relevant to you and close off those leaks in order to protect your energy.

9 Relatable Things That Drain Highly Sensitive People

1. Not being able to say “no.”

As a highly sensitive person, you may find it difficult to say “no” to people, in order to avoid hurting their feelings. However, saying “yes” all the time — especially the times when you really don’t want to — can take a toll on you (mentally and physically) and leave you drained and emotionally flooded.

If you don’t feel like going to a party, don’t. If you feel too emotionally exhausted to help someone out at the moment, politely decline.

Don’t let people drain your energy by saying yes to everything. Be selective about how you want to spend your time and energy — and with whom.

2. Having no clear boundaries.

While saying no is one way of setting a boundary, there are many other situations where you need boundaries to avoid energy leaks, too.

For example, if you don’t like something — or if someone says or does something that bothers you — politely let them know. Anyone who cares about you would not want to make you feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed.

When you don’t set boundaries, people may intentionally (or unintentionally) say something (or do something) that upsets you. And as a highly sensitive person, you’ll probably ruminate over it, causing yourself more pain. This will drain your energy and exhaust you.

So, set clear boundaries, especially with people closest to you, as you have to be around them day in and day out.

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3. Shouldering everyone’s burdens and emotions.

It’s not your job to help everyone and share their emotional burdens. You can’t make everyone feel better, especially at your own cost. (But I know — we sensitive types can’t help it!)

Of course, you want to help people you care about. And you can do that simply by being there for them or just listening to them.

But, as a highly sensitive person, you often end up carrying other people’s emotional burdens — and that leaves you mentally and emotionally drained. So, help people by listening to them and giving advice, but don’t carry their baggage. (Remember, it’s heavy!)

4. Having too many things on your to-do list.

Do you procrastinate often and keep pushing things off till the last minute?

Well, that might be one of the things that zaps your energy. The anxiety and stress of having too many things left to do are enough to overwhelm anyone, not just a highly sensitive person. But for HSPs, it’s even more intense and draining.

So, take the first step, a simple action to start that big thing you’ve been postponing for days (or even weeks). Just get the ball rolling.

As you complete more tasks, you’ll build momentum to finish everything off your to-do list (or at least many things).

Don’t let the anxiety of things to do drain your energy. Instead, intentionally choose to spend your energy checking things off your list.

5. Not getting enough sleep.

Lack of good sleep leads to physical exhaustion — this also affects your energy levels and mood.

This hits hard for people who have hectic work schedules or physically exhausting jobs, but is relevant for everyone. And being a highly sensitive person, you may feel this exhaustion more intensely. (HSPs tend to need more sleep than others.)

This means you’ll be tired all day and won’t be as productive as you’d like, which can leave you feeling unmotivated.

What can you do?

Prioritize sleep and build a good nighttime routine. This could include:

Putting all electronic devices away an hour before you go to bed
Taking a hot bath or shower to relax and unwind
Reading a book before you go to sleep
Meditating or building a daily gratitude practice
Anything that helps you relax (journaling, spending time with your pet, etc.)

6. Having a messy home or office space.

If you have clutter all around you, your mental space will also be cluttered and extract your energy.

So, tidy up and create an environment that boosts your energy instead of draining it. Use an organizational system that works for you and is easy to maintain.

Create designated spots for things and use shelves/boxes/what have you to keep the clutter to a minimum. Add use soothing colors to make you feel good, too.

Environmental psychology is a thing — and when you have a calming work or personal space, instead of clutter, you’ll feel more energetic and motivated.

7. Trying to explain your sensitivity to people.

Feeling misunderstood hits hard for highly sensitive people and they often spend unnecessary time (and energy) trying to explain themselves to people.

If you find yourself in these types of situations often, just stop. Not everyone deserves an explanation. Also, some people will still not change their opinion (or try to understand yours), no matter how much you explain yourself.

Learn to be okay with people misunderstanding you — it’s okay if not everyone “gets” you. Focus your time and energy on people who do get you (or at least make an effort to).

The sooner you get comfortable with being misunderstood, the better your life will be.

8. Having shallow conversations.

Shallow and meaningless conversations can be a big source of energy leaks for highly sensitive people.

While it’s not possible to completely avoid small talk, you can still make those conversations meaningful.

Don’t just ask how someone is doing — instead, genuinely listen and ask follow-up questions. Have intentional and genuine conversations, even if you’re put in situations where you don’t know anyone or feel uncomfortable.

If you’re at a party (or around many people and don’t feel like having a conversation), simply remove yourself from the situation or occupy yourself with something else. That will discourage people from approaching you and you won’t be forced to have shallow conversations.

9. Being surrounded by people.

As a highly sensitive person, you may feel drained in situations where you’re surrounded by too many people. This is because you absorb too many emotions and conversations all at once — and that overwhelms you.

In such situations, simply get away from the crowd and ground yourself before you regroup. HSPs need their precious alone time to regain energy, and that’s okay.

Be selfish about your self-care and remove yourself from overwhelming situations. And, if you really don’t want to go to crowded places, you can simply say no. (See #1 again!)

Figure Out Which Energy Leaks Affect You Most

Being a highly sensitive person can be overwhelming and draining at times, but if you identify your energy leaks, you can stop them.

Go through the list of energy leaks above and find common things that are draining your energy. Once you identify them, take steps to close those leaks or avoid those situations altogether.

Here’s hoping this will give you some much-needed peace of mind. That’s all any of us can hope for!

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The 7 Hidden Powers of Highly Sensitive People

Ankita Raghuvanshi — Fri, 25 Aug 2023 10:00:00 +0000

Sensitive people are often tagged as “weak,” but they have a fascinating and often brilliant world happening just under the surface.

As highly sensitive people, we’ve all heard things like “you’re too sensitive,” “stop being so emotional,” and “toughen up.” Sensitive people are often tagged as weak — even though they have a fascinating and often brilliant world happening just under the surface. This stigma often leads to sensitive people believing the criticism and developing a low opinion of themselves.

That needs to stop.

If you are a highly sensitive person (HSP), you are more than just an emotional person. You are more than just physically sensitive. You have hidden powers that you can turn into real strengths that will help you be better at your work and life in general.

Below are seven hidden powers of highly sensitive people — and why they make us truly amazing. Not every HSP will identify with all seven of them, but all HSPs can harness these gifts — and if you’re sensitive, chances are you can see yourself in most of them. Identify your strengths and use them to improve your life and empower yourself.

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The 7 Hidden Powers of Highly Sensitive People

1. Empathy

“Sensitive people have empathy in spades” – Jenn Granneman and Andre Sólo

Empathy is the biggest superpower of a highly sensitive person. We HSPs not only understand what someone is feeling — sometimes even before they consciously realize it — but also feel their emotions ourselves.

This is probably why people tend to come to us for venting out or if they need a shoulder to cry on. HSPs are good listeners and can comfort and calm people in the most stressful circumstances.

But that’s not all.

According to Andre Sólo, coauthor of the book Sensitive, empathy actually helps drive human progress. Empathetic people can understand others’ points of view (even if they contradict their own) and help bring together people of different backgrounds, beliefs, and skillsets. Sólo writes that this ability to unite different points of view actually is one of the drivers of innovation — so much so that academic papers with more diverse coauthor teams go on to generate the most innovative ideas, as measured by the how many other scholars cite their work.

In other words, HSPs aren’t just good at working in groups or as part of a team. We are good at uniting those groups, and we can spur solutions and success.

(Empathy does have a dark side, of course. Is your empathy ever downright overwhelming? If so, read this.)

2. Creativity

Research suggests that sensitive people tend to be more creative. And there are many reasons why:

Sensitive people notice things in more detail, whether it is brush strokes or musical notes. They’re more finely tuned to make sharp observations and are aware of more subtle sensations. In other words: HSPs have superior sensory intelligence.
Sensitive people are open to different perspectives and pick up more diverse ideas over time than anyone else. This gives them the power to create something new by merging different ideas.
Highly sensitive people have vivid imaginations, making them capable of creating things that no one can even dream of. This makes them not just good artists, but also great scientists.
Many HSPs can appreciate beauty more deeply than others.

Here’s the thing, though: Creativity is not just for artists and poets. As a creative person, you are more likely to come up with brilliant ideas and innovations at work or otherwise.

Creativity is a superpower that comes in handy in a variety of situations, from finding innovative ways to teach kids to writing amazing marketing communications. So, use it to your advantage.

3. Deep Thinking

Highly sensitive people think deeply and feel strongly, two traits linked to giftedness.

Yet thinking deeply is a hidden power that many HSPs don’t even consider to be one of their strengths.

Why is it a superpower?

HSPs can analyze things in critical detail, imagining all possible ways of doing a thing and the different outcomes that may result from each. This level of critical thinking is coveted in many work scenarios for problem-solving, ideation, and process design.

HSPs tend to take in more information than others and also do more with it. They tend to do a little extra than is required, offering long-term solutions to a problem, not just a temporary fix.

In Sensitive, Sólo and his coauthor Jenn Granneman give a brilliant example: “Imagine two tax accountants: The first one drops in your numbers, makes sure they add up, and sends them off to the government. Done. The second one goes further. They check supporting documents to make sure nothing is missed. They walk you through extra ways to save money. And they screen everything for red flags that might trigger an audit. Who would you rather have do your taxes?”

If you’d rather have the thorough, deep-thinking accountant on your side, then you understand the power of being a highly sensitive person.

4. Emotional Sensitivity

You may have heard this phrase before: HSPs are human tuning forks.

But what does it mean and how is it a hidden power?

Well, HSPs pick on cues that are invisible to others. They take in more information both sensory and emotional. An HSP can recognize emotions in others and is well-tuned to changes in the moods and behaviors of those around them.

This hidden power makes them great at assessing a situation and responding appropriately. They can diffuse conflict situations, help people communicate better, and even act as a catalyst for a smooth and productive group discussion.

This ability to understand other people’s emotions helps them deal with people better in a multitude of situations. With some training, this emotional sensitivity can be developed into emotional intelligence, which is perhaps the most powerful skill of all. Emotional intelligence is what separates good friends from bad friends and great leaders from mediocre ones.

As an HSP, your emotional sensitivity also allows you to form stronger, more meaningful connections. You can warm people up even the people who are hesitant at first. And you cultivate those relationships to become extremely connected and emotionally close, turning people into great friends, partners, and even colleagues.

So, the next time someone says “You’re too sensitive,” just say, “Thanks! That’s my superpower.”

5. Adaptability

HSPs are great at understanding other people’s emotions and try to be respectful towards their feelings and opinions. This makes them more prone to adjust to different situations, work with different groups of people, and adapt to things easily.

Adaptability, as we all know, is a useful skill that allows us to navigate through life and take changes in stride. It’s what helps us get along with others, reduce stress in our lives, and appreciate the unexpected.

6. Intuition

Yes, HSPs have a strong intuition and can often predict things to some level of accuracy. This doesn’t make them psychics, of course. They just absorb more information and analyze it to predict outcomes. It’s not mystical, it’s just analytical — even if we usually do it unconsciously.

Many HSPs are aware of their intuition but, all too often, don’t take it seriously. For example, you may be extremely good at predicting who’s the murderer in a murder mystery movie or tell your best friend that you have a bad feeling about their date. But you may not use your intuitive powers beyond that. That’s because we’re so often told to doubt them.

But imagine if you apply your gut feelings to complex situations — like a work role where you need to predict how a marketing campaign will perform and choose the best ways to reach a specific audience. Or an immediate sense that a person you’ve just crossed paths with is worth getting to know — or must be avoided at all costs. If you apply your intuitive and analytical powers in such real-world scenarios, you will be nearly invincible.

7. Fairness

One of the lesser-known qualities of highly sensitive people is that they are extremely fair and believe in social justice. They are not the ones who’ll watch injustice happen and do nothing.

HSPs will stand for what they believe in and will fight against injustice, especially when it comes to their loved ones. We may not always be great at taking care of ourselves, but we’ll go out of your way to help others.

This hidden power makes HSPs the best friends or partners you can hope for. I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that the world is just a better place because of sensitive people. Even if we would almost never be willing to say so out loud.

HSPs, It’s Time to Embrace Your Powers

It’s time we understand and utilize our hidden powers as sensitive people instead of thinking of them as weaknesses. The first step in doing that is to embrace your sensitivity and start to acknowledge your strengths.

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How to Improve Your Relationship With a Highly Sensitive Person

Ankita Raghuvanshi — Fri, 06 Jan 2023 12:00:00 +0000

That HSP in your life needs more than just your love or friendship. They need you to understand them.

Do you have a highly sensitive person (HSP) in your life? And would you like to improve your relationship with them?

Well, you’ve reached the right page. In this article, I will take you through five practical tips to improve your relationship with an HSP. But, first, let’s understand what it means to be a sensitive person and what you should know about them.

What It Means to Be a Highly Sensitive Person

A highly sensitive person is one who takes, and processes, all types of sensory input deeply. HSPs feel everything intensely and can often be misunderstood and thought of as “too emotional.”

You see, they’re physically and emotionally sensitive. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. After all, this makes them highly empathetic and attuned to other people’s emotions.

However, given the continuous absorption of sensory inputs, HSPs can feel overwhelmed — both physically and emotionally. As someone who cares about a highly sensitive person, you need to be cognizant of when they’re hitting their limit — and what things will bring it one — and help them cope. (Or, better yet, avoid the overstimulation in the first place.)

As an HSP myself, here are some ways in which you can build a strong and meaningful relationship with a highly sensitive person.

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5 Ways to Improve Your Relationship With a Highly Sensitive Person

1. Communicate continually instead of making them guess how you’re feeling.

While effective communication is the key to any healthy relationship, it is even more important when you are with a highly sensitive person.

HSPs are more aware of others’ feelings and emotions, but they are not mind-readers and can’t guess why you’re feeling the way you are. This leaves a lot of space for guesswork and them trying to figure out what you’re thinking.

Don’t make them guess and draw their own conclusions. Instead, communicate frequently and let them know what you’re thinking and how that’s making you feel.

I can tell you that we HSPs appreciate honest and frequent communication. We feel your emotions, so instead of hiding them, just spill the beans and keep us in the loop.

2. Respect their personal space and boundaries.

If you are in a romantic relationship with a highly sensitive person, you need to strike a balance between intimacy and respecting their personal space.

Some HSPs are sensitive to physical touch and can take a long time to adjust to intimacy — sex is different for highly sensitive people. So give them the courtesy of taking their time and getting close to you at their own pace.

You can start with small displays of affection, like holding hands and hugging, to get them comfortable with the physical touch. And if you see any hesitation, the onus is on you to back off since they may not feel comfortable telling you to stop. (Setting boundaries can be tough for HSPs.)

Some sensitive people might feel differently at different times, depending on their energy levels. They might stay in bed cuddling for hours on some days and need alone time on others. (Overall, HSPs value alone time, so remember this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them and their needs; it helps them calm down after all the overstimulation they experience.)

So respect their personal space and boundaries. Trust me, they’ll respect you and appreciate you all the more for that. And when they come back, your bond will be stronger.

3. Focus on the little things and small gestures of love.

A highly sensitive person notices every little thing. This means that they also appreciate every small gesture of love and kindness.

A simple kiss on the forehead, ordering our favorite dessert at the end of a bad day, drawing a warm bath — all these are small things that matter a lot to us. Doing these small things can greatly improve your relationship with a highly sensitive person.

And that’s not all! We will remember these things and smile about them for days and weeks. It’s actually quite easy to make us happy — just focus on the thoughtful, little things.

4. Never lie to a highly sensitive person — because they’ll know.

People often use white lies to smooth things over, like when someone asks you how you are and you say “I’m fine” even when you’re not. Or when you hide something to stop people from worrying about you or getting hurt.

The intention behind such white lies may be good, and they might work under regular circumstances… but not with a highly sensitive person.

Why? Because we’ll know when you’re lying. HSPs can feel even the slightest shift in emotions, and we’re the best at reading body language, so we will definitely pick up on how you’re actually feeling. (We may not confront you about it, but we’ll know.)

So avoid lies, even the well-intentioned ones, and just be honest. In fact, think of this as the first rule of having a good relationship with a highly sensitive person: Be completely and utterly honest if you’re in a relationship with a highly sensitive person.

5. Don’t assume things, and avoid labels.

HSPs are probably one of the most misunderstood people. As most people are not aware of high sensitivity, they often label HSPs as “too sensitive,” “overly emotional,” or worse.

Please don’t add to their trauma by stereotyping them or assuming the worst. Instead, try to understand their perspective and ask questions to better do so.

Instead of saying, “You’re overreacting”, try saying, “Why is this affecting you?” or “How can I help you feel better?”

Ask them how they’re feeling — and why. Master the art of listening instead of assuming things or labeling them as “emotional” or “dramatic.”

If you want to improve your relationship with a highly sensitive person, you need to be sensitive to their feelings. Give them a safe space to express their emotions without judgment, and you’ll have a strong and long-lasting bond.

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