Oluseyi Sogaolu, Author at Sensitive Refuge

How I Learned to Take Risks as an HSP

Oluseyi Sogaolu — Thu, 25 Sep 2025 09:00:00 +0000

Highly sensitive people don’t like taking risks, and sometimes it holds us back. Here’s how to do it safely.

Highly sensitive people (HSPs) are more attuned to their environment, and more easily overwhelmed by sensory stimuli, than the general population. As a result, they tend to be more cautious and hesitant when it comes to taking risks.

This could be true for a variety of reasons. For instance, because they have a high degree of empathy, they feel others’ pain as though it were their own. So this could make them hesitant to take risks that could potentially harm others. Similarly, HSPs feel pain more so than most, so to avoid it, it’s easier to not take a risk that may result in physical or mental pain.

HSPs also tend to overthink, like replaying a mistake over and over again in their head. So they may hesitate taking a similar risk, as they don’t want to make the same mistake again. Yet another reason could be fear of the unknown, as sensitive people usually don’t like change.

But if you’re an HSP who’d like to practice taking more risks, here are some ways to start.

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5 Ways to Better Accept Risk as an HSP

1. Practice exposure therapy and do one step at a time.

Exposure therapy involves gradually exposing yourself to a feared situation or stimulus in a controlled way. Here are some steps that HSPs can take to practice exposure therapy.

Start with a small, manageable step that feels slightly outside your comfort zone. For example, if you’re afraid of public speaking, you can start by speaking in front of a small group of friends or family members.

Gradually increase the difficulty or challenge of the situation. With public speaking, you could gradually increase the size of the audience, or try speaking in a more formal or high-pressure setting.

Practice relaxation and coping techniques to help manage any anxiety or discomfort. This could include deep breathing, mindfulness meditation, or positive self-talk (your internal dialogue). Instead of feeling like you’ll bomb your speech, remind yourself that you’re confident about the subject matter and know what you’re talking about.

Seek support from others. Exposure therapy can be a challenging process, so it’s important to have a support system in place. Reach out to friends or family members who can provide encouragement and support, or consider working with a therapist.

Be mindful of your limits. It’s important to be aware of your limits and not push yourself too hard. If you find you’re becoming overwhelmed or overly anxious, it’s okay to take a step back and regroup. Listen to your mind and body, and be kind to yourself throughout the process.

2. Keep track of your small victories and continue to build on them.

Since HSPs may be more prone to self-doubt and negative self-talk, it’s important to celebrate even small victories and progress. Here are some tips on how to do so.

Recognize and appreciate your progress. Take the time to acknowledge and appreciate the progress you’ve made, no matter how small it may seem. Give yourself credit for the effort you’ve put in, and recognize that every step forward is a victory.
Focus on the positive. Celebrate the positive aspects of your experience and highlight the things that went well. This will help you build momentum and feel more motivated to continue working toward your goal or the risk(s) you’re taking.
Share your successes with others. Sharing your successes with others can help you feel supported and encouraged. Tell your friends and family members about your risk-taking accomplishments, and allow them to share in your joy and excitement.
Treat yourself. Celebrating small victories is also about treating yourself to something special or indulgent. This could be anything from a favorite meal or snack to a relaxing day at the spa or a new item of clothing.
Reflect on your growth. Take some time to reflect on how far you’ve come and how much you’ve grown. Consider how your accomplishments have helped you develop new skills or confidence, and use this as motivation to continue pushing forward.
Set new goals. This can also be a time to set new goals or challenges for yourself. Use your successes — like the public speaking example — as a springboard to take on new challenges.

3. Try new experiences with a trusted friend first.

Sensitive people may find it easier to take risks if they have a trusted friend or family member to share the experience with. Having someone you trust to support you and share in the experience can help reduce anxiety and make the experience more enjoyable. Here are some ways to do this.

Once you choose your trusted friend, start small. Choose a new experience that feels relatively safe and manageable, like publicly speaking to 10 people vs. 100.
Take some time to plan the experience ahead of time. This can include researching the activity, choosing a date and time, and discussing any concerns or fears with your friend.
Be open and honest with your friend about your feelings and concerns. Let them know what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not comfortable with, and ask for their support and guidance.
Take breaks when needed. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious, take a break, go for a walk, or simply take some deep breaths and “do nothing.”
After the experience is over, take some time to reflect on what you learned and how you felt. Celebrate any accomplishments, and use any challenges as a learning opportunity for future experiences.

Need to Calm Your Sensitive Nervous System?

HSPs often live with high levels of anxiety, sensory overload and stress — and negative emotions can overwhelm us. But what if you could finally feel calm instead?

That’s what you’ll find in this powerful online course by Julie Bjelland, one of the top HSP therapists in the world. You’ll learn to turn off the racing thoughts, end emotional flooding, eliminate sensory overload, and finally make space for your sensitive gifts to shine.

Stop feeling held back and start to feel confident you can handle anything. Check out this “HSP Toolbox” and start making a change today. Click here to learn more.

4. Use visualization techniques to imagine your desired outcome.

Visualization techniques involve imagining yourself in a particular situation and mentally rehearsing how you would like to respond or behave. They can be a helpful tool for reducing anxiety and building confidence. Since HSPs are naturals at channeling their creativity, this should come easily to you.

For example, if you’re preparing for a public speaking gig, you can visualize yourself giving your speech calmly and confidently. Rehearse it in your mind, including how you would like the situation to play out (i.e., with everyone clapping and giving you a standing ovation). Here are some steps for HSPs to follow when engaging in visualization techniques.

Choose a specific situation that you want to visualize. This could be anything from delivering a successful presentation at work to going skydiving.
Find a quiet, comfortable space where you won’t be interrupted. Sit or lie down in a comfortable position and close your eyes.
Use your imagination to visualize the situation in as much detail as possible. Imagine yourself in the situation, using all your senses to create a vivid mental picture. What do you see, hear, feel, smell, and taste?
As you visualize the situation, create a positive outcome in your mind. Imagine yourself succeeding, feeling good, and achieving your goal. This can help build confidence and reduce anxiety.
Practice your visualization regularly, ideally every day. Research shows that this can help build new neural pathways in your brain and reinforce positive thinking patterns.
Use positive affirmations to reinforce your visualization. Repeat affirmations in present tense, such as “I am confident and capable,” “I am confident and clear when speaking in public,” or “I trust in my ability to handle whatever comes my way.” The more personal they are, the better. Then, repeat them on a regular basis, ideally multiple times a day. You can say them out loud, write them down, or repeat them silently to yourself.

5. Focus on the potential benefits more than the drawbacks.

Highly sensitive people may be more likely to focus on the potential downsides of taking a risk vs. actually taking the risk. But to conquer these limited beliefs, it can be helpful to reframe your thinking and focus on the potential benefits instead. Here are some ways to shift your perspective toward the positive.

Make a list of all the positive outcomes that can come from taking the risk. Then, remind yourself of them when you’re feeling hesitant. For example, if you’re afraid of public speaking, think about how much the audience will benefit from your talk, as well as how much it will boost your confidence. (You can write the list by hand or have it accessible on your phone.)
Practice gratitude. Research has found that taking time to reflect on the things you’re grateful for can help shift your focus toward the positive aspects of your life. Consider making a daily habit of writing down at least three things you’re grateful for, no matter how small they may seem. This will help you tackle bigger things, like the speech you’re afraid to give.
Embrace your sensitivity. Being highly sensitive is not a weakness; it’s a unique personality trait that can provide many benefits. Embrace your sensitivity and focus on the positive aspects it brings to your life, such as greater empathy, intuition, and creativity. These can all assist you when it’s time to take a risk.
Cultivate positive relationships. Surrounding yourself with positive people who appreciate and support you can help you feel more confident and positive about any risks you’d like to take.
Practice self-care. As an HSP, you may be more prone to becoming overwhelmed and stressed. Prioritizing self-care can help you manage your emotions and feel more positive. This may include things like meditation, exercise, and getting enough rest (especially since HSPs need more sleep than most!). These will all help when it comes time to feeling confident about taking risks.
Set goals. Setting achievable goals can give you a sense of purpose, which can help shift your focus toward the positive aspects of your life. In turn, this new mindset can challenge you to take risks.
Engage in activities that bring you joy. Whether it’s listening to music, spending time in nature, or pursuing a creative hobby, doing activities that bring you joy can help you feel more positive and energized. This will then make you feel more confident when it comes to trying new things.

So the next time you’re trying to take a risk — especially by doing something out of your comfort zone — keep the above tips in mind. They say “practice makes perfect,” and it’s true for risk-taking, too.

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15 Life-Changing Lessons for Highly Sensitive People

Oluseyi Sogaolu — Wed, 15 Feb 2023 12:06:49 +0000

Since highly sensitive people see the world differently than those who are less sensitive, the way HSPs deal with it is different, too.

As a highly sensitive person (HSP), I experience a lot of overstimulation and overwhelm on a daily basis, and the same is probably true for you if you’re an HSP, too. After all, the world is full of unwanted noise, light, smells, textures, you name it… These can be too much for anybody, but are magnified even more so for those of us who are more sensitive than most.

So what’s a highly sensitive person to do?

Luckily, over the years, I’ve discovered many life-changing lessons that we highly sensitive people can benefit from. But first, let’s talk about what it means to be an HSP anyway.

The Science Behind Highly Sensitive People

A highly sensitive person (HSP) is a term used to describe individuals who possess a heightened sensitivity to stimuli in their environment and to the emotions of those around them. Scientists refer to this trait as environmental sensitivity or, in some cases, sensory processing sensitivity (SPS). HSPs are thought to process information, including emotional information, more deeply than others. It’s estimated that nearly 30 percent of the population may be highly sensitive. (Meanwhile, about 40 percent of people are average in sensitivity while 20 percent are low in sensitivity.)

HSPs can be affected by a wide range of stimuli, such as noise, light, and temperature. They may also be more sensitive to physical discomfort, such as pain or hunger, and more easily overwhelmed by intense or prolonged stimulation. They are often affected by the emotions of others, too — it feels as if others’ pain is their pain.

In addition to being sensitive to external stimuli, HSPs may also be more introverted, needing more alone time to recharge, and have a rich inner life, with a deep connection to their emotions, thoughts, and imagination. They may be deeply moved by art, music, and other forms of creative expression, too, and have a heightened appreciation for beauty and aesthetics.

Being highly sensitive can be both a strength and a challenge, HSPs tend to be more compassionate, empathetic, and able to pick up on subtle cues in the environment. However, at the same time, the overwhelming amount of information can lead to feeling easily overwhelmed, anxious, or stressed. This can lead to feeling emotionally “flooded.” Therefore, it’s important for HSPs to learn how to manage — and make use of — their sensitivity, setting boundaries and finding ways to take care of their emotional well-being.

It’s also important to note that being a highly sensitive person is not a disorder, but rather a trait that some people possess. It can vary in intensity and not everyone who has this trait experiences the same challenges or benefits. It’s always recommended to seek professional help if someone is struggling to cope with their sensitivity and has difficulty in managing their life.

Now, without further ado, here are 15 life-changing lessons highly sensitive people can benefit from.

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15 Life-Changing Lessons for Highly Sensitive People

1. Understand your own sensitivity and the impact it has on your life.

This can involve learning more about what it means to be a highly sensitive person and understanding the characteristics that are associated with it. This may include becoming more aware of your emotions, recognizing when you’re overwhelmed by stimuli, and having a deep connection to your environment. For each of these, you can also enact a coping mechanism if things become too much and your highly sensitive soul goes into overdrive, like taking a time-out and getting some air, going for a walk, and so on.

By understanding your sensitivity, you can better communicate your needs to others and make more informed decisions about how you spend your time and energy.

2. Learn to recognize, and manage, your triggers.

Triggers can include specific events, environments, or types of people that cause an emotional or physical response. As an HSP, you may have a lower threshold for certain stimuli, such as loud noise or bright lights. By learning to recognize your triggers, you can plan ahead to avoid or cope with them, and minimize the chances of feeling overwhelmed.

For example, shopping malls may be a trigger for you, with all their glaring overhead lights (not to mention, way too many people). Or a low-key concert may be more your thing than a 10,000-person one — HSPs tend to be better with “selective noise” rather than that which is forced upon us.

Chances are, you’ll be able to figure out your triggers pretty quickly. The next step is then doing your best to do Plan B instead.

3. Set boundaries and learn to say “no.”

As a sensitive person, you may feel pressure to please others… but it’s important to prioritize your own well-being. Setting boundaries is about setting limits and knowing what is acceptable — and unacceptable — behavior from others.

Saying “no” can also be a form of setting boundaries, as it’s a way to communicate your limits and assert your right to make decisions about your own life. For example, your friend may beg you to go out on Friday night. But after a full work week, you know it’s in your best interest to stay home and relax instead. So instead of giving in to your HSP people-pleaser tendency, saying “no” to your friend — and “yes” to your needs — is a great way to enact a boundary.

4. Practice self-care, like getting enough alone time to decompress from the day’s overstimulation.

This can include taking time for yourself, getting enough rest, and engaging in activities that bring you joy. Self-care can also include developing a healthy lifestyle, eating a nutritious diet, and finding ways to relax and unwind.

HSPs quite enjoy alone time — it’s important for them to have time for themselves in order to recharge and maintain their emotional well-being.

5. Learn how to manage your stress and anxiety.

HSPs may be more prone to stress and anxiety since they are more affected from daily stimuli more than others. So it’s important to learn techniques to manage these feelings.

This can include meditation, journaling, and/or talking with a therapist or support group. Research has also found that exercise and physical activity can also be helpful in reducing stress and anxiety.

6. Don’t compare yourself to others.

Every HSP is unique and has different needs and ways of coping. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others, but this can be detrimental to your self-esteem and self-acceptance.

Remember: Everyone’s journey is different. So, instead, focus on your own progress and self-improvement. What are some positive things you’ve achieved this week? Month? Year? Make a list of things you are proud of and it’ll help you feel better about yourself. This way, you’ll focus more on your accomplishments vs. others’.

7. Seek out supportive relationships.

As a highly sensitive person, you may find that you are more affected by the emotions of others, so it’s important to surround yourself with people who understand — and appreciate — your sensitivity.

Sadly, sensitivity is often misunderstood by society. So it’s best to cultivate relationships with people who are supportive and accepting of your needs, and who will be there to listen and help when you need it.

8. Create a comfortable and nurturing living space.

“Environmental psychology” is a thing, especially where HSPs are concerned. So you may find that certain environments are more conducive to your well-being than others.

This can include creating a space that is calm, quiet, and free from excessive stimuli — your very own HSP sanctuary. It’s important to have a comfortable and nurturing living space that allows you to relax and recharge after a long day; the more you maximize its sense of calm, the better.

9. Learn to identify — and honor — your feelings.

Instead of repressing or denying your emotions, it’s important to acknowledge and validate them. Embrace your feelings, whether they are positive or negative, and take the time to process them.

We sensitive types have “big emotions,” and the more we understand them, the better. This can then help us better understand ourselves and make healthier decisions.

10. Practice assertiveness — be clear with others (and yourself) about what you want and need.

Assertiveness is about communicating your wants — and needs — in a clear and direct manner. As an HSP, it’s important to learn to be assertive, as it can be easy to be taken advantage of or taken for granted. For example, highly sensitive people tend to attract narcissists for this very reason (among others).

Assertiveness means standing up for yourself and your needs, and learning to say “no” when necessary. The more assertive you are, the more you’ll be able to recognize a toxic relationship, too.

11. Recognize that being an HSP is a strength, not a weakness.

It’s important to recognize that being a highly sensitive person is not a weakness or something to be ashamed of. While it’s a unique aspect of your personality that comes with some challenges, it also comes with many strengths.

For instance, we HSPs often have a deeper level of empathy and emotional intelligence, and we can have a profound appreciation for the world around them. The more you embrace your sensitivity, the more you’ll love it. Trust me!

12. Set realistic expectations for yourself.

As an HSP, it can be easy to put too much pressure on yourself. It’s important to set realistic expectations for what you can accomplish in a day, a week, or a month.

So be mindful of your limitations and don’t be too hard on yourself when things don’t go as planned. After all, highly sensitive people do not like time anxiety or to feel under pressure, so try to make things as easy on yourself as possible. This way, you will reduce overwhelm in your life, too.

13. Practice mindfulness to get back in the present moment.

Mindfulness is the practice of staying present in the moment and being aware of your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings. This can help HSPs get grounded and tune out distractions. This way, they’ll focus on what’s truly important.

Deep breathing techniques — which are often a part of mindfulness — can also help minimize anxiety and stress, too, research has found.

14. Seek professional help if needed.

If you are experiencing difficulty coping with your sensitivity — or things that may be associated with it, like anxiety — it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A therapist or mental health counselor can provide guidance and support, and can help you develop strategies for managing your feelings and triggers. They can help you create a “coping skills toolkit” so that you can calm yourself down when everything gets to be too much.

15. Practice self-compassion and self-acceptance.

Self-compassion is about treating yourself with kindness and understanding, rather than judgment and criticism. Accepting yourself as you are, with your strengths and limitations, can be a powerful step toward self-acceptance and living a fulfilling life as an HSP. An easy way to do this is to give yourself the same care and understanding that you would give to a friend or small child.

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